PinotNOmore

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel."

Lately, I'm trying really hard not to compare myself and my life to others. Today a friend of mine shared some really great news with me, and instead of being happy for her, jealousy insued. Funny thing is I already have everything I could really want in life (except maybe a billion dollars) so I don't really understand where these feelings are coming from. It was the first day in a few weeks I really felt like having a drink. Was actually mad for a while that I couldn't and was just in a terrible mood in general. Its been a few hours now and although I'm feeling less angry, the jealously is holding strong. I'm going to make some tea and head to bed! Hopefully a good night's rest will clear my mind! Thanks for listening. 20 days today!

nogard

Comparing our insides with someone else's outises is a trap of our di-ease. I found this for you.

"When we get caught up in comparing ourselves to the people around us we get stuck. If you keep comparing where you thought you’d be with where you are, you’ll never become the person you were meant to be. Comparison is a form of resistance and a waste of your glorious energy on your planet. I’ve wasted plenty of my own glorious energy comparing myself to my friends, my sister, and other entrepreneurs. It hasn’t done a damn thing for me."

doggonecarl

Jealous of the news? or jealous that she was happy about it?

jdooner

A Billion dollars won't help, it will only complicate matters more. The problem with most addicts/alcoholics, myself included is the threads of the disease go beyond the chemical. It saturates our mindset as nogard is pointing out. Sobriety is the first step towards recovery but recovery goes much much deeper.

For decades I sought happiness outside of myself when the whole time it was inside. Jeaslously is a manifestation of not being content and part of our shared malady.

Are you in therapy or working some type of program more than just abstaining from the drink? If not, my view is we are then just in between quits till we don't have more quits.

Good luck and tomorrow is another day. Congrats on the three weeks of sobriety.

PinotNOmore

Jealous of the news. :/ and I am seeing an addiction therapist. Ive been doing and feeling great up until this afternoon! Kinda caught me off guard I guess. Onward and upwards as they say!

jdooner

I have followed your posts for the past eight months. Your doing a great job Pinot. I found a great therapist. It took me three tries to find the right fit but wow, he has helped me immensely.

Good luck and good job!

Verte

Congrats on 20Days!

I applaud you for recognizing that you feel jealous. In all seriousness, far to many people just denigrate another instead of recognizing that they, in fact, feel jealous.

You could have had that drink but you chose not to...for this I applaud you as well.

A very wise man (smarty-pants) once told me "There is no such thing as a BEST choice. There are just choices. Making the choice is the easy part - how well you live and everything that comes after that choice is the challenge."

Choosing not to have that drink, riding with the wave of a bad day with uncomfortable emotions is quite an accomplishment.

I hope you have a good sleep. Tomorrow is a new day! Be gentle with yourself.

Dee74

I was pretty emotionally stunted for a while after I quit...all the negative emotions like resentment, greed, jealousy ran riot with me...

But the more I stay sober the more well rounded I became - stay sober, keep moving forward, keep working on becoming the person you want to be and I'm sure the same will happen for you Pinot

D