Raider

Well heck. This is not what I planned. Dad just got out of the hospital. Spent four nights. Now home and resting. Everyone here has taken turns with The Fuzz, it has not been easy with my sisters dog trying to eat her. Husband was supposed to be here tonight for a week and take The Fuzz home with him. Nope...my other cat at home is dying. Rescue cat with three bad heart chambers, was supposed to die within a year, he is four now. His name is Ham. So husband is not coming. I went to the hospital to be with Dad yesterday. Got there at 10am...Mom showed up at 6pm. Yes that made me mad. The priority for me is my Dad alone in a hospital, not so with her. That's my DAD! I don't even want to tell you about today. I have been so angry I am shaking. I could easily crack. I don't just want a drink, I want to backstroke in the bottle. I want a drink!!! I realize everyone does not prioritize things like I do (even though if they did, that would be doing the right thing ). I exercised for 50 minutes, showered, made some cookies, broke down and took a Xanax. Im trying not to fall apart and cry. I'm still angry and hurt. Tomorrow I have to help my sister and niece set up a party for 150 people for my Dads birthday. I'm exhausted. But I didn't/haven't drank. And I won't....today. Praying God gives me strength. Thanks for listening.

Dollyangel17

Sorry you had a tough day Raider, but glad you got through it without drinking!

Keep it up, and remember...feeling angry and sad is bad enough, but having a drink won't help that...you would just be drunk, angry and sad.

You have been doing so great! 95 days is awesome!

Tetra

I'm sorry you are having a rough time

Sunflower92663

Again. I feel your pain myself. I hope you can work through it, sending prayers your way!

SoberLeigh

Hey, Raider. Sorry you are having such a rough time; I'm sure I'd be in a tizzy, too. Sorry to hear about Ham. Very relieved to hear you didn't drink.

Glad to hear that your Dad is home from the hospital. Hope the birthday party goes well.

God will give you strength. Lean on us, too.

Rar

Hang in there Raider. You're doing great. You have lots on your plate, but I know you can get through this. Pet and love on the Fuzz when you're stressed. He's therapy, remember.

Dee74

Prayers for you, for Ham and your dad Raider.

D

alphaomega

Thinking about you friend. And praying for all your loved ones, human and furry.

Stay strong. You deserve sobriety. It's a gift. Remember that.

XO AO

Kaneda8888

Sorry you're having a rough time. Know that you can get through it, be wiser and stronger for it. Stay calm and seek serenity. Let go of what you cant control.

Notimetoloose

You are doing a great job, doing stuff for family can often seem to be a thankless job.
I dont think that there is anything in the world that can stretch us more as human beings than family.
You are doing a great job, take care of yourself.

MythOfSisyphus

Hang tough Raider! You can do it.

neferkamichael

Raider, you just that much stronger because of it all, FANTASTIC, rootin for ya.

mecanix

Keep on

Bestwishes, m

soberclover

Raider, you are beyond awesome!!!!!!!!! I am sorry about Ham. I'm thinking of you

SoberLeigh

How was the birthday party, Raider?

SASA

All I can say: take care of yourself first. You don't have to do anything other than not drink! Everything else is the icing on the cake. I am so sorry you are going trough all of that. I know how terrible it is to lose a dad and also a cat. I can only imagine the pain you are in. But drinking will definitely not help, just get you deeper into the hole. Keep climbing up.

Hevyn

Raider, I somehow missed this last night.

I'm so glad you posted here about what's going on. I hope it helped relieve the anxiety a bit. So sorry about Ham - terrible timing. You must've taken beautiful care of that rescue kitty. I don't blame you for being resentful - but I'm glad you didn't cave. Prayers for you and your family.

Raider

Thank you everyone. The party is over. So much work. Ack! I tried to stay away from the drama. Clean up was a lot of work for my sister, niece (visiting from Texas) and myself. It turned out grat. Now to get through Mother's Day. Maybe things will settle down then. I have another three weeks here. Trying to keep my head around the fact that my priority is not everyone's priority. Isn't that selfish of me? And childish. Maybe I can I grow up sometime soon eh? Hahahaha. Thanks.

firstymer

I hope things have settled down for you Raider and that you have been able to carve out a little free time for yourself. It sounds like you have earned it.

Stay strong. Be well. We are thinking about you.

SoberLeigh

Keep powering on, Raider; you are doing great!!