FreddyFatal99

Hi all. I'm 34 and I need to quit drinking.. more than I can explain. I've tried about 100 times in my life with no success. I drank again last night. It's so hard, man. I don't even enjoy myself when I drink anymore. Why do I do it? I sit at home, drinking alone, watching sports games on TV. I used to play sports, but not anymore. I have no ambition.. no desire to do anything except drink. Can't keep a girl. I drink light beer.. which isn't as bad as hard liquor but I know it will get worse. It's progressive.

I'm running out of options here. I tried AA but I hated it. I really do not want to go back.. I feel ridiculous. I know it works for many people but honestly I don't see it working for me. I'm a very private person and I don't want to be in a group setting like that.. maybe an online meeting would be different. I don't know. Why am I even posting this.. I like reading the newcomers forum because I know people around here are just like me which gives me some comfort I guess.

Anyway, end rant. Have a great day everyone.

doggonecarl

There was a post in another forum asking "How many times did it take you?"

One of the common themes, for those of us with a lot of tries, was that once we recovered and stayed sober we realized that all those attempts we failed at weren't really attempts. Not serious, whole-hearted attempts. Half-A$$ed attempts usually bring with it Half-A$$ed results.

Not saying that's the case with you, Freddy. But when you really want to get sober more than you want to drink, you'll be surprised what you'll do to get and stay sober.

You don't have to do AA. But find some sort of support/recovery method that will address the problem, and put all your effort into it. You'll succeed.

KateL

I never thought I would do it in a million years, but after many attempts something clicked xxx

ScottFromWI

Welcome Freddy. If group settings do not work for you, SR is a great option -it's my primary support method. There are many self-directed programs like AVRT that you can also read about in the Secular method forums. There is also a wealth of reading material, including the Big Book that can be invaluable to supplement any method.

Keep in mind though that whatever methods you choose, none of them will work unless you put in the time and effort. And to be honest, you probably wont like some parts of any of them - because each and every one of them has a similar requirement - that you stop drinking. That will mean a change in your lifestyle and change can be hard. And your addiction wont' like the fact that you have stopped drinking.

The good news is though that anyone can quit - you included. You just have to want it enough and put in the time. Picking up the first drink is 100% a voluntary decision you make - and you can similarly choose to not pick it up.

Vigilance

Every time you think "I just can't do it", try "I CAN DO THIS". Because you can.

Jade1224

Hi Freddy

The best thing you can do for yourself is take the word "can't" out of your vocabulary. You CAN do it. Through work and determination it is possible.

As far as AA goes, you have to find the right recovery path for you. Because worked for someone else doesn't mean its right fpr you although you should give it all you have before making that decision.

The important thing is not to give up.

least

Welcome Freddy! I tried and failed many times myself, but as Carl said, when I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, I was able to stay sober.

resolute50

Welcome Freddie.

"Just can't do it"?
I used to say the same thing about the Sox.

It takes some hard work,but,you can do it.

LBrain

Hi Freddy, I can only confirm what others have already said.

I recall one time telling someone I didn't have any will power. The reply was, "You don't have any won't power." Interesting way to put it I thought.
Welcome to the forum. Get some "won't power" while you're here. And give AA another try. I hate it too. But I go to meetings and keep that to myself while I'm there.

Kinda like telling a kid to eat his spinach. I know you hate it but it's good for you.

Treerat66

Hi Freddy, welcome to SR
As the others have said you can do it.

Stoogy

Hi, reading your post it just reminds me of well, me. Similar age group similar drinking pattern watching sports alone etc, and also just a beer drinker! Well like you so rightly said it is indeed a progressive issue unless knocked on the head, you are still a young man and it's way better to try to stop now before any real long term damage is inflicted. I always planned to stop by my 40th but decided to do it at 37. That's only 4 and a bit months ago but I honestly thought I would really struggle to stay off it but I have surprised myself with my will power and you can do the very same my friend.
All the best.

firstymer

As others have said, SR is a good option for some, especially the very shy. This place has been my main source of support and encouragement during my sobriety. In fact, SR is the ONLY place I have looked to for support. I have never been to an AA meeting in my 7 months of sobriety. Thankfully, this place has given me what I need to stay sober.

Having said that, you need to find a method that works for you. Something that clicks with you. If you haven't found it yet, you need to keep looking.

I get that you may not have found the right method yet. But please, don't concede that you "can't do it." Keep trying. There is always hope if you keep trying.

Good luck. We are pulling for you.

huntingtontx

Hi Freddie, welcome to SR. This is where I got sober and stay sober. One day at a time you can do this. Just don't drink today. You got this. I am glad to meet you.

EJ43

Hi Freddy, I am in same area as you. I read here in morning and at night, see a therapist and am trying aa meetings. I have a lot of other things going on in my life as well. It's hard in the boston area, trust me, I know. Give it a shot, good luck!

Hevyn

Freddy - Add me to the list of those who said they'd 'never' be able to do it. I drank for almost as long as you've been alive - and I now have over 6 yrs. sober. I finally gave up the idea that drinking could make anything better, happier, or easier. It just adds to our anxiety and misery. I think you already know that.

Please never give up on a better life for yourself. You can do this Freddy.

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Freddy. Please believe everyone when they say"you can do it" because YOU can.

krete77

hey fellow MA bro,

it took me a lot of trys but then i think back and its like why didnt i just stop before? the only way to to stop drinking is to drink and prepare yourself for the recovery to follow. it's tough though.

SeaScape

Hi
I became so fed up with the frustration of failure and feeling crappy that now I am desperate for success. Try other things.... Many things until you find something that works..... AVRT, counseling, going to bed at 8pm, etc. You can do it!!!!

GotGrace

Hi Freddy! Welcome!

PAINLESS66

First things first... do you consider yourself an alcoholic or just someone that likes to drink and thinks they really can control what their doing? I have no idea what its like to be an alcoholic because i hardly ever drank other then in my teens and early 20s but thank god i could only drink 2 to 3 beers before i was drunk enough for others to notice.plus... i always like to wake up freshly rested and not COME TOO from blacking out. I been like that my entire life to this very day. I still drink a glass of red wine with a good meal and i love a dirty martini but my limit has always been just 2. i have a friend that had to stop drinking because it killed his heart to the point hes on an active heart transplant waiting list and wears a medical beeper praying daily for it to go off meaning a matching good heart has been found that will save his life. he drinks but he drinks ODOOLES NON ALCOHOLIC BEER Which maybe you might think about switching too. maybe at first try to drink one fake every other real beer to start . just an idea... you gotta want to stop... only way it will ever work... believe this much.. I JUST SAID A PRAYER TO GOD TO HELP YOU SO HELP IS ON ITS WAY BUT U GOTA WANT THAT HEL. HAVE A GREAT DAY...