MrBen

So things were going really well for me, I'd been sober for a while and was really turning things around.

Then I received an anonymous e-mail, I still have no idea who its from, with a link to an article. That article had my friend's (well former friend) face on it, a little chubbier, with hair, but him. The article was from a few years ago and told the story of how he was a child sex offender with a job that allowed him to become close to children in impoverished areas.

I wont go into any more details about the case as it has been re-opened and anything posted specifically about him in a public forum could potentially put me in contempt of court.

Needless to say his crimes were horrifying and deserving of far greater than the 20 months he eventually served.

We met the guy as he started working at a pub in Leeds where my best friend also worked, being a recovering alcoholic who was then drinking on a daily basis, we got to know each other pretty quickly, or at least I thought we did. One of the major questions I've been asked is how we didn't suspect anything, the guy never spoke of his past.

Well, he told us he moved here after coming out of a bad relationship and he didn't want to talk about it. I never thought anything of it, I just figured some guys aren't big talkers. Since then me, him, my girlfriend and my best friend have been hanging out 2-3 times a week for about a year and a half.

Needless to say we're only a small group and we loved the guy, it least we loved who he pretended to be. He seemed like one of the nicest, salt of the earth type guys you could trust with anything. But I guess that's how these people work, his crimes are by their very nature manipulative.

When I found out I called the police to tell them he was breaking his parole on 3 counts: he was living close to his victims, he had a webcam and internet access and he had forged documents allowing him to work in a family environment (the pub doubled as a family restaurant). I gave my official statement that day.

Since then I have not been sober until now. This is the first morning I haven't drank in a fortnight and I hit the bottle hard. I'm not going to drink today, I have one beer left in the fridge and I'm pouring that away once I finish this post. This cycle of relapse, sobriety, repeat is dragging me down. I guess all I can do is get back on the wagon and start again.

I wish I had a moral to this story but I don't, just that life can be messed up sometimes.

Holli

MrBen, I can see how this revaluation shook you. Here in the US sex offenders have to register where they live and that becomes public record. As in, published in local papers! We have one in my somewhat upscale neighborhood. I slipped yesterday, too, I know how easy it is, but it ultimately is our choice, not someone else's fault. Let's get back on the sobriety horse together...

MrBen

I'm feeling better already. My body is reacting well to the first proper food it's had in a while. Plus I'm enjoying working without everything taking 5 times longer due to my head being frazzled by booze.

I'm also making plans to get back to the gym to lose that 6 pounds of beer weight.

All aboard the sobriety train, choo, choo!

Dee74

That must have been dreadful for you Mr Ben, but whatever you've been doing - whether it's to try and forget, or drinking at this guy, or trying somehow to punish yourself for not seeing his true colours - the end result is you're only harming yourself.

I'm glad you're back here looking for help

D

IOAA2

Hi. That's certainly a depressing situation with the result of doing yourself possible serious harm.
I had to learn to let a lot of things go that I had no control of as I drank because of people, places and things. Letting go is hard in many cases and we must learn how to share, which is also difficult for many of us.

BE WELL

ForMeForThem

Mr. Ben- my family experienced something devastating like this a few years ago. The husband of a close family member is in federal prison and it nearly ripped our family apart. It was a complete shock, still is, and its effects are still being felt. I used that stress to justify my drinking. Even now, years later, my AV will try to use it against me as a reason to drink. The fact is it's only an excuse and the person it really hurts is me. I'm sorry you have to deal with this - I know its painful and confusing. I'm glad you've stopped drinking, you can get through it sober.

lifetplant

I'm glad you're back Mr Ben. That's a pretty awful situation and by falling off the wagon, you only did what many people do. I for one have been on and off the sobriety train more times than I care to count. My sobriety train ticket costs a lot less than my daily visits to the bottle shop..........I'm back on, right here with you.

GreenEggsAndHam

Don't let that scumbag be the reason you drink.

Get and stay sober for you. Good luck to you. <3

doggonecarl

Life is messed up. And learning to live sober is learning to get through the messed up parts without drinking. I'm not sure what recovery method you have chosen to get sober, but if it doesn't provide a template for living sober, you'll drink over the next tragedy life doles out.

So look at what what you were doing to stay sober, and adjust accordingly.

countrysidegirl

Glad your back on the good road , paedophiles are around us everywhere disturbingly my family members who did it to me and my cousins are living and breathing and they shouldn't be, people like those if you can call them people are very clever and manipulating they can and often are highly intelligent they all want desposed off in my opinion im glad you are feeling better don't blame yourself and certainly don't drink over scum like that they want you to drink and have a life of hell dont let them
Take care