LeaRachel

I'm not sure why I'm where I am today, but I'm feeling like I have no where to go but up. At least I hope that's where I go. I really don't know how I feel except blah.

I'm an over eater which means eat when things aren't going well. However I haven't been doing alot of that because its getting close to the end of the month, so money isn't there. One good thing is Ive been sober a little more that a month,, but the feelings of defeat has not eased up.

I don't feel I'm worth losing weight and getting fit anymore. I don't feel worthy. But at the same time I am stuck and have no way of knowing which way to go. And I hate standing still.


So I am teaming up with a friend to spend time getting rid of old feelings and thoughts and excuses and trying something new - one day at a time..I am going to work not on losing weight (although that will be the side benefit) I am going to work on busting my excuses and start exercising starting with stretching and yoga, because I have Arthritis and cerebral palsy and causing problems when I walk.

My husband is all for me doing this if it will help me physically and mentally.

I am going to get ready for this and start at the beginning of the month and just take things one day at a time and keep placing one foot in front of the other.

Dollyangel17

Welcome!

You are worth it! We are all worth it. Congrats on giving up alcohol and recognizing what needs to be done to get healthier.

It might not be an easy road, but knowing what is triggering you to eat (and drink) is an important piece!!

I am 11 months sober today. At the same time as I quit drinking, I also committed to tackling my weight problem (which had ballooned as a result of my drinking). Not only have I been sober, but I have also lost 100 pounds! At the doctor just Thursday, my doctor told me I had given myself the best gift possible---years of life!!! He then gave me a bug hug!

Again....we are all worth it. You can do this...hang in there!

Dee74

Best wishes LeaRachel. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves and their health

Having a friend can really help

D

deeker

You know they have telephone OA meetings . I have been struggling with
compulsive eating lately when my job did not work out. I know that down feeling.

let me know if you are interested in the meeting schedule. Super nice ladies.
One even called me and was so supportive and helpful.

hiddenzebra

Hope you feel better soon Lea. You deserve to be happy Be well

StevenT

Hmm. Feelings are powerful things. You and I chat a lot in the chat room, and we know each other. You know that I've been depressed lately, not doing much. Staying isolated. I've been acting based on emotion, and feelings in the moment. When I look back in my history at the times I've succeeded, normally it was because I did something that I did not feel like doing at the time, like going to work, or doing that 4th step, or doing any number of things that do not bring pleasure, at the moment. Normally I did them because I had motivation to do so.

Pain and fear are my greatest motivators. When I got sober this time, it was a combination of both of those things that propelled me to do so. I was in so much emotional and spiritual pain that suicide was an option for me. I was so afraid of continuing down the path that I was going, suicide became one of two options. End it, or sober up. I sobered up. Fear and hope keep me sober. Fear of returning, and hope of experiencing something better.

Now I am working out almost every night, and getting out and getting back to my meetings, re-integrating myself into life. I am motivated to do so. People like you and I are stubborn. We don't change until change becomes the most appealing option - and change is not appealing. For me, God has a part in this whole thing. My motivation can come from fear and pain as it always has, or faith and hope.

The journey of the recovering alcoholic is not an easy one. It is full of ups and downs, similar to a roller coaster ride. The best way to enjoy a roller coaster is to enjoy what you're going through right now, or look forward to enjoying the next fun part of the ride. Taking life with the same approach can be very rewarding, and helps to keep it enjoyable.

Hope this helps,

LeaRachel

Thank you all so much for reading my post, Steven, the last time I felt like Suicide I knew I had to change things. I wasn't ready to die yet/ still not. Hidden I am seeing I am worthy. And Deeker, I'l think about your offer and 'll l get back to you ...

Taproot

Hi, LR,

You've got over a month sober, that is awesome! i would say that every day sober is a day *not* standing still...it's a day getting into better sobriety shape, exercising your sobriety muscles. I have ten days sober and really hope and pray I can make it to one month.

Keep trying--you have friends at SR pulling for you

Hope4Life

Sounds like a GREAT plan LeaRachel! Very nice of your friend to join you in this adventure.

Keep your chin up. You are very fortunate to have an understanding husband and a very interesting career. Lot's to look forward to in your life Girl!

neferkamichael

LeaRachel, you are FANTASTIC, rootin for ya.

Mountainmanbob

nice
and we wish you well with this journey
please -- keep us updated
MM

ReadyAndAble

I love this! I plan to start the week with that as my mantra. Very cool. It's really inspiring to see you recognize that a low point is just a turning point in the making. I'd wish you luck, but it sounds like you won't need to rely on luck.

Treerat66

Hi LeaRachel,
Welcome aboard.

LeaRachel

Today I began exercising, I was shooting for 5 minutes, however taking it slow and working my arms and legs it took 9 minutes,,, I did three short sessions which targeted various areas, neck, back arms and hips. Each area was overlapped . Now resting the sore muscles and drinking my water.

I must work to try and not do these as fast as those on the tapes do, after all this is MY workout.

More later,,, wonder if I should move this to my blog? Would you all follow me if I did?

Hope4Life

IMHO I think more folks will see it if you continue posting here or on other threads rather than in your blog.

I'm glad to hear you got a workout in this morning... I need to do the same thing.

LeaRachel

I'm taking your advice Hope, and continuing this and my progress is in the recovery section,