bjmt

Okay,here goes. I am new at this. Decided to wait till I was alone to add a post. My husband is a binge drinker and won't admit it. He works nights and doesn't drink during the week...unless he calls in sick or has a holiday scheduled. On these occasions he will buy two four packs of John Smith's original Bitter(440ml e...4% vol) and a 1.5 litre of Scotch/Whisky(40% vol),which he uses a chaser. He will drink the two four packs and the whole bottle of Scotch/Whisky in one night. If he is off the next few nights...we start the whole process over again the next day. During these drinking binges he will drink till he passes out...wakes up and drinks more till he passes out again. One good thing is he is not violent in any way. He is a good natured drunk..if there is such a thing. I just get really tired of going on holiday and having him drink every night. He says he just does it to sleep. Guess he started drinking at a early age. Seems to be the customary thing for some British blokes to do.Hubbys whole family are drinkers. Enjoy going to the pub for a pint. Me...being American...I was rather stupid marrying into a family of this type. I was... "IN LOVE"... with the idea of living in the UK. Thought it would be so much different then what it has turned out to be. I married five years a go and have stayed here. Why...is because I love this bloke. But know now he won't change. So what do I do now???? I am at a turning point in my life....middle aged...without a good job..or a pension for old age. I am rambling on and on..but wanted to see if there was anyone else out there who is going through the same type stituation I am. Thanks for reading.

Lorelai

bjmt -
I think you'll find a lot of people on these boards going through the same type of situation you are going through.

I'm glad you're here and hope you stick around. I've found a lot of help on these boards. Keep reading and posting and welcome !
L

Monalisa

bjmt~

I have the same thing happen the night before my husband's day off. He doesn't drink until he passes out though. Keep coming to the boards though! I agree that you will find others that know what you are talking about!

Nightowl

Well my A SO is a good ol american man but he is of Irish heritage. I hear all the time how his whole family comes from beer-drinking Irish warriors. They all have been career military. So he thinks that is who he is. His beer helps define him evidently. I think it is an excuse. also he uses his military "traumas" as another excuse to drink. He also says he needs his beer to sleep. He isn't violent either. He can get argumentative and rant and rave about things when he's had too much. I hate it. I like him sober. He used to work nights when we first lived together and he didn't drink as much then. He would come home at midnight, have a few beers and nod off. Since he won't drink before noon and he had to be at work at 2...no beer before work. Now that he is back on days...he drinks from the moment he is off at 3 until he falls asleep. And every weekend from noon until bedtime. Weekends can get dicey because that is a longer time to drink. And occasionally through the week, if he doesn't eat dinner then he gets visibly drunk.

He's been doing pretty well lately. Not drinking too much. Thank goodness he stays away from liquor. I am middle-aged, divorced, no pension either. Sometimes I wonder if I am just with him out of fear of being alone. I know I fell in love with him at first. But am afraid I stay with him out of fear. In my younger days I would have never put up with drinking. Fear of being alone is a bad thing I think. Everyone keeps telling me I need to be happy on my own first before I can be happy in a relationship. That I am settling, etc. The book "Codependent No More" is helping me a great deal. Have you read it? I highly recommend it.

bjmt

Wanted to thank you all for replying to my post. Appreciate them.
Nightowl a special thanks to you. No,I haven't read "Codependent No More". Living here in the UK..I haven't known where to turn. Know there is probably... some... help some where..but have to look in the right spots. I have checked with the Citizens Advise Bureau...but they said they had to check it out. That was three weeks a go. Phoned them today to see what results they had found. No one knew anything new. I have the same type emotions as you do. I stay with Hubby..out of fear,settling..because I am middle aged. Where would I go if I left. Moving back to States would be scary. What do you do for a job...where do you live...not having money is a big fear factor..isn't it???? In my younger days I would not have put up with this. Had a very good job,with a good salary and a retirement plan. Traded that all in for this. I was completely off my rocker. Rambling on and on again. Or as the public here say :sad6: Thanks again. I do appreciate the posts.

Alexia

I've been reading that codependant book over and over for three years. It's a very good book and describes all of us to a T. Implementing the suggestions is the hard part. That's where Al-anon comes in!

We're behind you BJMT!
Alexia