anniecake

My husband has been living in a different city while I try to sell our house to join him (new job). He came home tonight for a few days. A week ago I had an eye opening discussion with one of his friends and realized that others have seen his behavior and recognized a problem. This was scary for me because I have been doing whatever I could to hide his behavior and have been able to sweep a lot of it underneath the rug because of this. Now I can no longer do this. I believe my husband is clinically depressed and drinks to self medicate. He went on Zoloft once but hated how it made him feel and stopped taking it, ubruptly, making things worse. The drinking makes the depression so much deeper but initially makes him happy in an irritating way. None of his emotions feel real anymore. I never know when I'm talking to my husband or this "other man" that has taken over his body. I never see him drink too much. In front of me and others, he will have a beer or two or a drink or two. I have, however, found SEVERAL empty vodka bottles over the last several years. I now have a better sense of smell for vodka than anything else.
I wanted to say that I have made an appointment with a therapist for Monday. I was a nervous wreck making the phone call but feel so much better that I finally did something, anything to change the direction I've been going. My husband actually has a doctor's appointment tomorrow (primary care doctor). He has high cholesterol and has to have regular blood tests. They took him off his cholesterol meds because his liver wasn't handling it-obviously too busy dealing with the vodka! He told me he was going to talk to the doctor about maybe trying another anti-depressant. I'm not holding my breath but tonight was the first time we've talked about any of this without it ending in a screaming match. Too much going through my head now so I'm up in the middle of the night. It has been comforting knowing this board is here. Thank you.

best

Good to see that things could be looking up.

As far as...without it ending in a screaming match.

See how well things work when we don't let our emotions get in the way?
That was a great example of how things can work when we disconnect from things and let the other deal with the problem. Good job

matters

Hi anniecake,

So glad that your here with us!! The boards are open 24/7 and that really is comforting to know. Please read the daily posts and other info at the top. Hope the appointment with the therapist goes well. Your husband has to be the one to change himself,but you are in control of changing you and that is a very good thing! Take care and keep coming back!!

Hugs and prayers,
matters