dogperson

I have not posted for a long time but I do visit the site a lot. to make a long story short..two years ago I found out that my daughter had went from abusing pills to being a heroin addict. We sent her to a 30 day rehab...she relapsed. Soboxone turned out to be a way to control
Her habit. She got into trouble with the law which forced her to get serious about her problem. She went out of state to a detox then rehab then sober living community. I am so proud of her. She has 10 months clean and she really is working the program. She came home for court two days ago. She is deciding if she wants to go back or stay home. I get sick to my stomache every time she walks out the door. I know that it is her recovery but I know what we all have been through to get this far. I want her to stay and go back to college but I also need to learn how to relax. My husband is worse than me. He doesn't want her to leave the house at all. It is wonderful to spend time with her now as she is her old self . is there a way for everyone to be comfortable living together again?

suki44883

I am happy to hear that your daughter is 10 months clean and is taking recovery seriously. The rest of it takes time. She sounds like she's working a strong program and that is really about all any of us can hope for.

I know it's hard, but you and your husband are going to have to allow her to live her own life. Having her living with you won't ensure that she won't relapse. Show her that you trust her and support her.

CodeJob

Dogperson,

I am sure I would be worried if I was in your shoes and fearing the worst every time she goes out - even for the most mundane reason. She will always be your daughter and the parent instinct to protect her just naturally kicks in.

I think full disclosure might be nice if your H is willing to participate. Tell her you are so excited to have her home and see how healthy and great she seems. Tell her you are so proud of her really working her program and the time she has in so far. Admit you both are nervous on her behalf because you are aware what a rough road it has been so far.

Ask her what her plans are - do not tell her what you think she should be doing (college/not leaving the house ever again!). She needs to find her own way as hard as it is to let her go.

I hope your stomach settles. I get hopped up on caffeine and overthink sometimes. I have checked on my H only twice in the last 11 months, so I am guilty. I know that feeling. Hugs!!