Hi I'm new
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lamberhurst, UK
Posts: 14
Hi I'm new
Well that hasn’t helped my day. Just spent ½ hours typing (to be fair probably drivel) and it just vanished (like an old oak table)
Anyhow doing it in word now so hope it comes out OK when I cut and paste it
I’m Nick from near Tunbridge Wells in Kent. And I need to stop drinking.
Trouble is its always been a bit of a fascination to me. I remember as a kid in the 60’s when your mum and dad went to the pub and you had to sit in the car with your sister eating crisps – I got dad to let me look inside. I saw a dark smoky wonderland that I always wanted to be part of. I don’t smoke but you get the idea.
And that stayed with me. I’ve probably drunk my weekly units allowance everyday from being about 16 and not worried about it. Well not until now.
All was good until 2010 when I had a bad year. In February my dog died. No prob if your not a doggy person but if you are you’ll understand. Then in March my uncle died. He was my great uncle and he brought my dad up but dad wasn’t well enough to go to the funeral – I wont bore you with the details. Then in April Dad died. Still may was a touch no one died.
He was my hero and my mate. He flew the early 1950’s jets in the RAF when the plane was probably more likely to kill you than the enemy. I tried to join up but they couldn’t see the need for an asthmatic fighter pilot no matter how enthusiastic.
Anyway moving on I had a reasonably successful electrical and building business. You wont be surprised to hear we did most of our business working in Pubs.
Anyway to cut to the chase I got over ambitious, went to far and ended up being taken for £20K.
Then I lost it. Not many people know cos I’m good at hiding it but I haven’t worked for about a year and am nearly broke. Its not as bad as it sounds the house is Janes and she still pays the mortgage so we’re not going to be slung out.
Trouble is she’s a big drinker too and so’s my business partner. I live next door to an off licence and opposite a pub
I’ve got to stop but its not going to be easy.
If anyones still awake sorry to witter on
Good luck to you all
Nick
Anyhow doing it in word now so hope it comes out OK when I cut and paste it
I’m Nick from near Tunbridge Wells in Kent. And I need to stop drinking.
Trouble is its always been a bit of a fascination to me. I remember as a kid in the 60’s when your mum and dad went to the pub and you had to sit in the car with your sister eating crisps – I got dad to let me look inside. I saw a dark smoky wonderland that I always wanted to be part of. I don’t smoke but you get the idea.
And that stayed with me. I’ve probably drunk my weekly units allowance everyday from being about 16 and not worried about it. Well not until now.
All was good until 2010 when I had a bad year. In February my dog died. No prob if your not a doggy person but if you are you’ll understand. Then in March my uncle died. He was my great uncle and he brought my dad up but dad wasn’t well enough to go to the funeral – I wont bore you with the details. Then in April Dad died. Still may was a touch no one died.
He was my hero and my mate. He flew the early 1950’s jets in the RAF when the plane was probably more likely to kill you than the enemy. I tried to join up but they couldn’t see the need for an asthmatic fighter pilot no matter how enthusiastic.
Anyway moving on I had a reasonably successful electrical and building business. You wont be surprised to hear we did most of our business working in Pubs.
Anyway to cut to the chase I got over ambitious, went to far and ended up being taken for £20K.
Then I lost it. Not many people know cos I’m good at hiding it but I haven’t worked for about a year and am nearly broke. Its not as bad as it sounds the house is Janes and she still pays the mortgage so we’re not going to be slung out.
Trouble is she’s a big drinker too and so’s my business partner. I live next door to an off licence and opposite a pub
I’ve got to stop but its not going to be easy.
If anyones still awake sorry to witter on
Good luck to you all
Nick
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome Nick 
I'm sorry for your losses & troubles.
You're right getting sober and staying that way isn't easy - you'll find you need to change a lot of the things you take for granted - but it's not impossible either....and you're not alone - there's a lot of support and encouragement here
I think most of us have drunk enough to see that smoky wonderland isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I don't think you'll regret getting sober
I'm sorry for your losses & troubles.
You're right getting sober and staying that way isn't easy - you'll find you need to change a lot of the things you take for granted - but it's not impossible either....and you're not alone - there's a lot of support and encouragement here
I think most of us have drunk enough to see that smoky wonderland isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I don't think you'll regret getting sober
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Welshman living in Cork, Ireland
Posts: 737
Welcome Nick.
A good, honest introduction is a great start. You really have found a great place here. Post and read as often as you need to. It really has been my lifeline.
Also I recommend you join us in the "Class of March 2014".
Application for this exclusive club is easy, simply post something there!
My best wishes on your journey to a happy sober recovery.
A good, honest introduction is a great start. You really have found a great place here. Post and read as often as you need to. It really has been my lifeline.
Also I recommend you join us in the "Class of March 2014".
Application for this exclusive club is easy, simply post something there!
My best wishes on your journey to a happy sober recovery.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Welcome Nickk. Another Brit here,though much further North
You sound very aware of your situation which is a great start. It is difficult when others around you drink but you can still get sober. My husband drinks most days and I've got 15 months sober.
This site is a great place
You sound very aware of your situation which is a great start. It is difficult when others around you drink but you can still get sober. My husband drinks most days and I've got 15 months sober.
This site is a great place
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Nickk - It's wonderful to 'meet' you - I'm so glad you joined us. SR helped me stop drinking after I'd been at it for 30 years. I was drinking all day when I came here - and I found the courage to give it up. We know you can too - keep talking to us.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Brittany France
Posts: 23
Hey Nick, Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your personal losses. Yes its not going to be easy but you have done the right thing in finding this forum and recognizing you have an issue with the alcohol. Theres so many people here to help. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Sorry to hear about your losses and problems, Nickk. I never romanticized drinking in my childhood, but I did this about all sorts of idiosyncrasies, eccentricities, unconventional lifestyles on the edge of society... and in many ways I quite quickly turned myself into my "dreams" before even I'd become a grown adult. Drinking came later and was part of it for a long time.
I just recently made my first serious attempt at quitting this January because I could sort of foresee slowly losing everything that was dearest to me in this life of my own creation. Because while many of the eccentricities did isolate me from other people and from fully achieving my goals, there are many valuable and constructive things in it. During especially the last ~1.5 year of my heavy drinking, I developed nearly constant paranoia, nightmares, depression, etc seeing everything slowly slipping away (including my health). I feel lucky (given I can maintain my recovery now, which is my absolute priority at this stage) that I somehow was haunted by the imagination of disasters and losses this way (in other words extreme anxiety), plus constant guilt and shame about my behaviors... and these were strong enough to give me a kick to finally start acting on changing my life before really bad things would happen. Very early yet, but I do recommend that you attempt it, too. There is nothing to lose trying sober living and recovery... but potentially everything to lose continuing on the road of addiction. Recovery is also quite an exciting new adventure for its own sake!
I wish you all the best.
I just recently made my first serious attempt at quitting this January because I could sort of foresee slowly losing everything that was dearest to me in this life of my own creation. Because while many of the eccentricities did isolate me from other people and from fully achieving my goals, there are many valuable and constructive things in it. During especially the last ~1.5 year of my heavy drinking, I developed nearly constant paranoia, nightmares, depression, etc seeing everything slowly slipping away (including my health). I feel lucky (given I can maintain my recovery now, which is my absolute priority at this stage) that I somehow was haunted by the imagination of disasters and losses this way (in other words extreme anxiety), plus constant guilt and shame about my behaviors... and these were strong enough to give me a kick to finally start acting on changing my life before really bad things would happen. Very early yet, but I do recommend that you attempt it, too. There is nothing to lose trying sober living and recovery... but potentially everything to lose continuing on the road of addiction. Recovery is also quite an exciting new adventure for its own sake!
I wish you all the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lamberhurst, UK
Posts: 14
Thank you all for your kind wishes and support.
I'm actually beginning to believe I might be able to do it. (he said sitting here with a gin and tonic at 04.00 GMT)
I have to do it. Drinking has been a massive part of my life for years. Trouble is i'm quite good at it. I dont get into trouble or upset people and (I really dont mean this to sound like it does) I'm quite popular around the local pubs etc
But i'm living a lie - nobody knows how much I drink - not even Jane my partner of 25+ years.
Its not like i dont have any other interests - I love my cars - used to race years ago, I was within a couple of hours of getting my pilots licence when I still had some money.
So why do I do it. I 'm feeling good right now but I know depression and anxiety will kick in again soon.
This really is drivel isnt it - sorry.
Anyway 'm going to go for on Monday and if no one minds i'm going to document my efforts on here as you guys are great and it will be an extra incentive
Thanks to you all and sorry for waffling on
Nick
I'm actually beginning to believe I might be able to do it. (he said sitting here with a gin and tonic at 04.00 GMT)
I have to do it. Drinking has been a massive part of my life for years. Trouble is i'm quite good at it. I dont get into trouble or upset people and (I really dont mean this to sound like it does) I'm quite popular around the local pubs etc
But i'm living a lie - nobody knows how much I drink - not even Jane my partner of 25+ years.
Its not like i dont have any other interests - I love my cars - used to race years ago, I was within a couple of hours of getting my pilots licence when I still had some money.
So why do I do it. I 'm feeling good right now but I know depression and anxiety will kick in again soon.
This really is drivel isnt it - sorry.
Anyway 'm going to go for on Monday and if no one minds i'm going to document my efforts on here as you guys are great and it will be an extra incentive
Thanks to you all and sorry for waffling on
Nick
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