darkfaith

I I finally made it to my first AA meeting, was pretty scary walking in but was thankful there was only a very small group. Felt awkward but welcomed.

It's morning of another day 2 for me. After a three day bender of bottle of bourbon. Feeling worse today than I did yesterday physically. But could also be the fact that it is completely over between me and my husband of 10 years. He is not "in love" with me anymore and ended up with someone else over the weekend. He says he's no longer with her now as crap hit the fan because I wouldn't tell him how I found out. They all think someone told me but facebook is a funny thing isn't it. I'm holding onto the guilt of not telling him yet but I want him hurting. I feel gutted. One day I will tell him but today isn't that day.

Now to try and get myself sorted for my boys. I have no idea how to do that, or to pack up all his stuff or get through the day without having a breakdown. But I know today, just today I will not pick up a drink.

There is another meeting at lunch time today and I've already talked myself out of going. But I think I need to. I can't do this alone and I'm finally admitting that to myself,

Dee74

I hope you do go - sounds like you need a lot of support right now DF

D

KateL

It's good that you are going to meetings. you are being very strong xxxxx

2muchpain

I hope you change your mind and go to the next AA meeting. The more you go to, the more comfortable you will be, and the better chance you be willing to let other people know what is going on with you. Let them know what is going on with you, and you will be surprised just how supportive they can be.

Straightshoot

Good advice for the OP. When I really had a horrible drinking problem many years ago, including dui and many blackouts, I went to AA for years. It really helped me.

least

Go to the meeting. As Dee said, you can use the support.

postcard1

So sorry to here that and I really feel for you - my wife of 12 years and I are separating this weekend too after I went on a 4 day binge ONE day after rehab last week... and like you I am talking myself out of going to an AA meeting; but i know it is what i need to do, and you do too.

How about we both make the pledge to go to our meetings today? Deal?

darkfaith

Well had to work so didn't make the meeting but will go on Wednesday night again. It's apparently a step meeting and they are going to start at step one again for me.

Trying to let go of anger is the hardest but at least my kids are putting smiles on my face today and no craving for a drink at present. Have a lunch date tomorrow with a non drinker friend so I know there will be no temptation there. Last night had coffee date with girlfriends and while some were drinking it wasn't hard to say no. And then seeing them as the night progressed on was an eye opener. Can only imagine what I must have looked like all those times.

Halfway through day 4 today. And I will not drink today.

Silvy69

At day 3 there was no way I could be around people drinking, be careful with that. Wtg on day 4. Keep doing it sobriety rocks. Silvy

darkfaith

I kept control last night in the fact I drove, took both my kids and made the choice to only stay two hours before I left. I made the plan and stuck to it. And I know next time may be and end up different because that first drink is so close all the time.

Tomorrow is going to have to have a plan as I see my ex twice. So am not going anywhere near a bottlo and will be keeping very busy with decluttering etc