patpitt75

Hi everyone. I've been trying to quit drinking for 4 years. but I fail over and over again. I end up going to the bar and getting drunk, usually M-W-F. So tired of trying and failing. The guilt and shame is destroying me , but I keep doing over and over. Got any ideas?

Amajorityofone

“A strong man cannot help a weaker unless the weaker is willing to be helped, and even then the weak man must become strong of himself; he must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition.” - James Allen

I agree with that statement. I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear, but at least you now know that it is my opinion that true change, always comes from within.

Dee74

Hi and welcome patpitt

I think success rests on two things - finding sober support, and making lifestyle changes.

SR is great for support - there's also a lot of face to face support around like AA or other recovery programmes, seeing your Dr or a counsellor.

It's also really important to make lifestyle changes tho. Guys trying not to drink have no business being in bars. Can you think of other non alcohol related things to so?

D

KateL

Why don't you give it a break for a while. You will probably feel so much better and decide to gibe it a miss permanently. You never know, you are obviously concerned about it xxxx

least

Welcome to SR from a fellow Buckeye.

Why not try giving it up for three months and see how you feel then. Three months is long enough to notice the positive effects of living sober.

And get yourself some real life support, whether it be AA or another program, or your doctor or a counselor.

I see a counselor and along with SR, it really helps me stay sober. It's been working for over four years now.

patpitt75

Thanks all of your for your input and support. I went to a meeting tonight. So that's a start , the real test will come tomorrow, Friday night. My goal is to go to a meeting. Keep me in your prayers.

Aarryckha

Welcome!

There is a meeting on SR in the chat room Fridays at 9PM EST. It's great to hear people's stories. Feel free to join us!

Tamerua

Go to a couple meetings if you can. On a Friday night you can find a later one. And see if you can find the meeting after the meeting, where folks from the group grab coffee and a bite to eat. Break that cycle.

FreeFall

I was on a similar pattern, drank 3-4 nights a week, recovered the days in between, and knew I had to stop but never stuck to any of my plans to cut back, etc.

I finally just challenged myself to really try to stop (because honestly, I had never seriously tried to stop altogether) I would stop for a few days, feel great, start again feeling like if I could stop like that when I wanted to I didn't have that big a problem.

For me, it's easier to have none at all ever, than to try to moderate or control it. I just can't moderate or control it. I couldn't predict what the outcome would be for a night of drinking. I couldn't stick to my good intentions.

I still don't use the words "never" or "forever" but the year and eight months I've stopped so far is a reallllly long time in my world. Just keep breaking it down. Stop for 10 minutes. Stop for an hour. Maybe a day. Maybe a week. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Rickh54

At the top of the page, where it says Freefall, insert Rich54
I could have written this one. Good for you for your 20 months of sobriety. That is awesome. 4.5 months for me and enjoying my clear head and positive outlook on life.

RevivingOphelia

Hi Patpitt--welcome!

I was on a 2 - 3 / week drinking pattern. Ugh, just to remember how I lived in the constant state of either craving and withdrawl/hangover keeps me from picking up that first drink.

Like FreeFall, after 16 months of sobriety, I still have to make a daily choice not to drink (and I'm not an AA member; it's just the daily decision works better mentally for me then never again/forever type of thinking).

In the beginning, I had to get through moments of intense cravings by thinking it through all the way to the crushing mental and and physical pain of the mornings. I had to avoid people and places, sometimes roads even, that would be too challenging so early in sobriety. I would exercise, eat, take hot baths, crawl into bed and turn the tv on--anything to get through some of the "trouble hours" where I'd usually fill by drinking wine. Never once would I regret holding to my decision to quit drinking--especially in the mornings waking up without being in a state of mental and physical anguish. I'm sitting here typing early in the morning, the start of a Saturday, off from work, and happy and calm that I can enjoy the day without suffering from a detox from a Friday night binge. The fresh, sober mornings never get old for me.

It gets easier as the days roll forward. You just have to keep reminding yourself of your commitment to a better life…and it will become better.

Good luck to you!