I have got to stop again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: California
Posts: 50
I have got to stop again
Well, 68 days, baby came, and wham....I decided to drink. Just how it is. Drinking now and off to sleep before I can do more to make me sick (before I have to wake up for work). Family is good, babies are safe, I'm half there tonight but I know where this leads (obviously after signing up on this site some 2-3 years ago). Geez, you'd think I'd get it by now. Anyway, staying positive. A beautiful new boy and a happy family and wife....she understands and I'm doing okay but if I don't stop again, it may not be so good in a month (or tomorrow). It's just how it is. I'll see you all again tomorrow with a sober date of March 18, 2014. Best.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Just don't give up trying. Maybe it is time to find a different way to quit. There are different programs.
Don't feel bad, I joined here, like, seven years ago (under a different name) and have been sober three years. Took me awhile, too.
Best to you, and stay sober for yourself and your beautiful family.
Don't feel bad, I joined here, like, seven years ago (under a different name) and have been sober three years. Took me awhile, too.
Best to you, and stay sober for yourself and your beautiful family.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 383
I agree with Dee - think about trying something different. I would continue to lean on this website as one means of support, but what else can you try that you haven't considered before? Ask yourself - would you have decided to drink last night if there was a person who was calling to check in on you, or who you could have called when the desire to drink set in? From your addiction's point of view, the nice thing about websites is that they are easy to avoid when you are leaning towards having a drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: California
Posts: 50
Thank you all for your replies and I see the general theme (and didn't take that as rude at all Dee). I told my wife that I was going to reach out to someone in AA personally if I slipped up again. I am set to meet with this person on Friday for lunch. All the alcohol is once again removed from the house. I can't remove it from my office but I will continue to open a soda or juice at 5 to get me through til I can leave at 5:30. I have been praying so desperately for God to instill a real change in me by any way He sees fit.
I'm not sure if this is part of my prayer being answered, getting older, whatever....but every time I drink, my body completely rejects it. I may have had some 8 or so beers/drinks last night and my body just cannot handle it in the morning. Not the hangover but other sickening side effects. Anyway, I recorded a few things on my phone last night for me to listen to this morning. They were short 1) I'm too old to continue doing this and 2) I sincerely now believe that I will die from my alcoholism if I do not quit.
I'm am working on strengthening my relationship with God and focus on my spirituality, family time, etc. My wife apologized for having a beer on Sunday because I of course said I'd join her...except I had 6 or 7 for her 1. I told her she has nothing to apologize for, I'm the one with the problem but she has said she will be more supportive and this morning I asked her to please help me by keeping alcohol out of the house until i can get some time back again (she can go out with her girlfriends if she wants to and needs a break from the kids....she does not drink like me). So that helps, meeting with my possible new sponsor on Friday, will attend at least 2-3 meetings before next Monday and am back committed to living a life free of alcohol.
My work situation is so weird, I am so close with my boss and I almost feel like he expects me to drink. In fact he says he worries about me when I'm NOT drinking. All the while, a lady in my office just lost her husband to cirrhosis and it was an ugly long nasty way to die. He didn't stop drinking until a month ago, some three years after his diagnosis. Anyway, my head is everywhere today but I'm going to shut it off by some focus on work, relaxing with family tonight, and continue sharing here and with other people in recovery. I need help but really believe I will overcome this beast.
Thank you again for your continuous encouragement and support.
I'm not sure if this is part of my prayer being answered, getting older, whatever....but every time I drink, my body completely rejects it. I may have had some 8 or so beers/drinks last night and my body just cannot handle it in the morning. Not the hangover but other sickening side effects. Anyway, I recorded a few things on my phone last night for me to listen to this morning. They were short 1) I'm too old to continue doing this and 2) I sincerely now believe that I will die from my alcoholism if I do not quit.
I'm am working on strengthening my relationship with God and focus on my spirituality, family time, etc. My wife apologized for having a beer on Sunday because I of course said I'd join her...except I had 6 or 7 for her 1. I told her she has nothing to apologize for, I'm the one with the problem but she has said she will be more supportive and this morning I asked her to please help me by keeping alcohol out of the house until i can get some time back again (she can go out with her girlfriends if she wants to and needs a break from the kids....she does not drink like me). So that helps, meeting with my possible new sponsor on Friday, will attend at least 2-3 meetings before next Monday and am back committed to living a life free of alcohol.
My work situation is so weird, I am so close with my boss and I almost feel like he expects me to drink. In fact he says he worries about me when I'm NOT drinking. All the while, a lady in my office just lost her husband to cirrhosis and it was an ugly long nasty way to die. He didn't stop drinking until a month ago, some three years after his diagnosis. Anyway, my head is everywhere today but I'm going to shut it off by some focus on work, relaxing with family tonight, and continue sharing here and with other people in recovery. I need help but really believe I will overcome this beast.
Thank you again for your continuous encouragement and support.
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