Why I'm Back Again?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Why I'm Back Again?
The longest i had without a drink was about 3 months. I felt a bit more confident, had more money in my pockets and everyone would compliment me on how good I looked and how happy they are formy progress. Long story short, I started to drink again lost faith and motivation in myself and only looked forward to the bottle after work.
So why im back? This weekend I cried after coming home at 6 in the morning drinking with family members. Party was good but i got so intoxicated that i started flirting with a girl that i knew for a long time and got so uncomfortable seeing her talking to another guy. I never had feelings for this girl and don't really care much about her till that night. I literally beat myself up punching myself for how i was reacting and hating myself for getting this drunk.
On Sunday morning i woke up and continued my drinking quest in my room listening to depressing music and sipping on a few beers. Today im reminising and taking inventory on myself and seeing what aspect of my life i can improve. I go to the gym every morning but not seeing the results i want from all the alcohol and bad diet.
So what am i asking? Maybe help and support. I was 3 months strong before and i know i could do it again. I even comitted to smoking my last cigarette this morning. I need a drastic change and i know it starts with me.
All i ask is for support, thanks for reading.
So why im back? This weekend I cried after coming home at 6 in the morning drinking with family members. Party was good but i got so intoxicated that i started flirting with a girl that i knew for a long time and got so uncomfortable seeing her talking to another guy. I never had feelings for this girl and don't really care much about her till that night. I literally beat myself up punching myself for how i was reacting and hating myself for getting this drunk.
On Sunday morning i woke up and continued my drinking quest in my room listening to depressing music and sipping on a few beers. Today im reminising and taking inventory on myself and seeing what aspect of my life i can improve. I go to the gym every morning but not seeing the results i want from all the alcohol and bad diet.
So what am i asking? Maybe help and support. I was 3 months strong before and i know i could do it again. I even comitted to smoking my last cigarette this morning. I need a drastic change and i know it starts with me.
All i ask is for support, thanks for reading.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
GhostFace - There's no doubt you can get free of it and never go back.
Drinking caused me to do out-of-character things too. I could never trust myself once it got in my system. I never knew where I was being led. I just had to let it go and give up on the idea that I could ever have even a sip. You have our support.
Drinking caused me to do out-of-character things too. I could never trust myself once it got in my system. I never knew where I was being led. I just had to let it go and give up on the idea that I could ever have even a sip. You have our support.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Welcome!
I'm sure we all have horror stories to tell of things we did when we were drunk that we are ashamed of. Go a little easy on yourself.
Start with one day at a time. If you did it before, you can do it again!
I'm sure we all have horror stories to tell of things we did when we were drunk that we are ashamed of. Go a little easy on yourself.
Start with one day at a time. If you did it before, you can do it again!
AlmA
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Dear GhostFace
We all have tripped over, It is ok!
Do not bit up yourself.
You learned from the experience,
so what can you do differently next time?
Avoid situations that trigger your drinking!
The important thing here is you know you do not want to be a drunk.
You know it makes you unhappy.
and you are strong enough to be 3 months sober.
So you can start again, and stronger.
When you are sober you can handle any situation and can see clear!
When you are drinking everything is a massive problem and you need to drink so you do not have to face it!
Maybe you need to consider getting extra help!
I did tried 2 years on my own and at the end I had to abdicate and get help!
Everything works better when you are sober!
You can do it!
Best wishes in your recovery
We all have tripped over, It is ok!
Do not bit up yourself.
You learned from the experience,
so what can you do differently next time?
Avoid situations that trigger your drinking!
The important thing here is you know you do not want to be a drunk.
You know it makes you unhappy.
and you are strong enough to be 3 months sober.
So you can start again, and stronger.
When you are sober you can handle any situation and can see clear!
When you are drinking everything is a massive problem and you need to drink so you do not have to face it!
Maybe you need to consider getting extra help!
I did tried 2 years on my own and at the end I had to abdicate and get help!
Everything works better when you are sober!
You can do it!
Best wishes in your recovery
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
All we have is a daily reprieve big time we start thinking we have beat this then BAM !!!!! I'm sorry you are going through this hold on no matter what doesn't matter how many times we fall just keep going because you are worth it xxxx put the whip away xxx
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Ghostface, when I was drinking, there were a lot of things that seemed like a good idea at the time. When I was sober, I couldn't imagine how my mind worked. I'm really glad that you are back, and I know that you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 54
I think we've all had the "oh my god what did I do" moment at some point. I've gotten myself into awful situations for sure... and I know all about the early morning drive home thing. Things can turn around though stick with it 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome back GhostFace 
Maybe you need to work on accepting that this needs to be a permanent life change kinda deal?
I'm sure you could do 3 months again too, but without a permanent change all you'LL have is a couple of lulls here and there in the craziness.
Maybe it's time to accept alcohol brings the crazy...and it needs to stop, for good?
D
Maybe you need to work on accepting that this needs to be a permanent life change kinda deal?
I'm sure you could do 3 months again too, but without a permanent change all you'LL have is a couple of lulls here and there in the craziness.
Maybe it's time to accept alcohol brings the crazy...and it needs to stop, for good?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Thank you all. Im on my second day and i feel that the support is strong. I have family gatherings for the weekend and im real confident not to even take a sip of alcohol. Thank you all, i will take it one day at a time
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