Enabling Confusion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Enabling Confusion
Does anyone else have a hard time knowing when you are enabling versus when you are being a good partner?
RAH has been having a health issue. So he finally went to urgent care about 3 weeks ago. He went right before they closed so they basically started him on antibiotics but didn't really do everything they should have due to time constraints. He continued to have symptoms and things got bad again so last night he went to UC again after work. I worked late and then drove to the care center (it is conveniently 1 mile away from home). His car was still parked so I walked inside and sat in waiting room. Texted him and offered to go get his new scripts. So he popped out and gave me some paperwork and where he had scripts called in. He told me he felt sick and dizzy and thanked me for stopping by.
So I went to Walgreens and of course wound up spending $50 in impulse purchases (vitamins, misc stuff, Easter candy) while I waited for them to finish scripts. I really hate Walgreens bc I get suckered in every time I walk in that store! The entire time I felt like a hamster on a wheel, "Did I go to UC to be sure he was there? Was I being enabling? Why do I question myself when I am just being nice? Why do I have to be nice? Why do I operate in such a self doubting mode?"
I decided I was just being nice. But why did I have to get so worked up about it?
RAH has been having a health issue. So he finally went to urgent care about 3 weeks ago. He went right before they closed so they basically started him on antibiotics but didn't really do everything they should have due to time constraints. He continued to have symptoms and things got bad again so last night he went to UC again after work. I worked late and then drove to the care center (it is conveniently 1 mile away from home). His car was still parked so I walked inside and sat in waiting room. Texted him and offered to go get his new scripts. So he popped out and gave me some paperwork and where he had scripts called in. He told me he felt sick and dizzy and thanked me for stopping by.
So I went to Walgreens and of course wound up spending $50 in impulse purchases (vitamins, misc stuff, Easter candy) while I waited for them to finish scripts. I really hate Walgreens bc I get suckered in every time I walk in that store! The entire time I felt like a hamster on a wheel, "Did I go to UC to be sure he was there? Was I being enabling? Why do I question myself when I am just being nice? Why do I have to be nice? Why do I operate in such a self doubting mode?"
I decided I was just being nice. But why did I have to get so worked up about it?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
CodeJob--My guess is.....you want so very much to make sure that the relationship goes well---you feel such responsibility for everything---that you are afraid of doing anything "wrong". I suspect that you are the kind of person that has always carried a lot of weight and responsibility on your shoulders to always make everything work.....
Of course, I'm just spitballin', here....
dandylion
By the way--I think you were just being nice in this particular situation. Wouldn't you want him to do the same for you in a similar situation?
Of course, I'm just spitballin', here....
dandylion
By the way--I think you were just being nice in this particular situation. Wouldn't you want him to do the same for you in a similar situation?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
