tornrealization

So last night I got drunk and locked myself into the garage. I then proceeded to try and use garden sheers to break the door open.

I started to freeze and resorted after hours to walk to a neighbor's house and call my mom.

Who picked me up after a tearful plea and I stayed at her house. I got my spare key from my mother in law.

Shame shame shame. I could've died. I did so good this year, 6 weeks sober and bam! I am an idiot still drinking today but as my husband says - drink better. He's on his own experience. I've lost last night and today but I will start over tomorrow.

Randummy

Six weeks sober is great and like you said, just keep going. Tomorrow is a new day.

CAPTAINZING2000

You're not an idiot unless, you never learned from last night.
The first time is a mistake, the next time is a choice

chaili05

I agree with captain- we've all do e stupid things and it's what you do after you fall that counts! ddc4d

tornrealization

I just hope my husband doesn't notice despite the door damaged I did with garden sheers or my bruised check(how did that happen) or the worry I gave my mom, oh no I'm not happy with what I've become. Sober was just a fleeting wait until my next drink.

suki44883

You don't have to drink anymore today. Poor out what you have and start now. There is never a better time to stop drinking than NOW.

tornrealization

Thank you. I will also pour out the soda can of pop I hid my booze in.

suki44883

Who were you attempting to hide it from? Do you really think it was working?

One of the most surprising things I discovered in recovery was that, in spite of the fact I thought I was hiding my drinking so well, most people who knew me very well at all knew all along. I was fooling myself thinking I was so clever at hiding it.

swindon32

Please read my thread xx

suki44883

Swindon's thread...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...day-night.html

tornrealization

I guess I'm not hiding booze that well. To my surprise my mom told me last night for years she and my brothers knew my husband and I were drinkers. I hate that I turned out this way for her. I went six weeks sober but none of that time with her and the like an ass call her up. I need to fix this.

ScottFromWI

Honesty is the key to sobriety. Most of is thought we were hiding it but we were fooling ourselves, most people know. More importantly, we are lying to ourselves by thinking we can somehow drink responsibly, even after repeated facts to the contrary.

If we truly want sobriety we need to cut out the lying all around. There will be difficult times to be certain as we face reality. But it's worth it.

Coldfusion

There is probably an AA meeting happening soon near you. I found the meeting rooms to be very helpful at staying sober.

tornrealization

My husband, family friends all think AA is nonsense. I enjoyed the meetings and got scared with some of the stories I heard. I think I will have to hide AA from my husband, and this scares me as he is my life. But my life is bad and his solution is 'drink better'.

Anna

You can make this your bottom, if you're ready to accept that you can no longer drink. Being honest with yourself is really important. Don't wait until tomorrow. Get rid of the alcohol you're drinking now and hopefully you'll feel better later today.

ScottFromWI

What your husband, family and friends think of AA doesn't matter. What matters is getting help for yourself. If you are going to continue bring him to an open meeting or go to an al anon meeting with him.

suki44883

There is no such thing as "drink better" for an alcoholic.

Your LIFE is your life. Not your husband. If you want to save your life, you need to do whatever it takes, even if others don't understand.

least

Welcome to the SR family. I hope the support you find here can help you stop drinking for good.

ReadyAtLast

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you like AA,need AA and it helps you stay sober then go to AA. Since getting sober I've realized that what I want and what I need do matter. It isn't wrong to put yourself first

I also think his comment to "drink better" is pretty crazy. If you could drink better you would have done it years ago. you know what you need to do. Be true to yourself

adee

"Drink better" seems a sure fire way to find a lower bottom. The good news is that you don't have to follow that path. It sounds like you need other support for sobriety than your husband, but you do have your mom, and if you've enjoyed AA, even in secret, you have that, too. Do whatever you need to do to get sober. The other stuff and how it relates to your marriage can be dealt with in time. Best to you.