marie1973

I feel like I'm going to fall apart. I have been far from sober, drinking every night that I don't work, often to the point of complete black out. This morning my husband called me out on it....he had gotten up and when he went downstairs he found several half drank cups, one with vodka, one with wine, two empty beer bottles. Basically I must have lost them around the house and kept making more. He had went to bed before me and can drink a couple drinks and stop, I as he says cannot put it down.
I have kept sober at most 4 days and they are rough days. I don't know why I'm self destructing, there is so much good, even great in my life. A wonderful husband of nearly 20yrs, three beautiful daughters (16,5,4), a great job, home, etc.....I am literally sick about it today.
Sorry for the rant, thank you to those who took the time to read.

alphaomega

Welcome Marie.

Its an awful hell that booze puts us in. But the great news is that you can overcome this.

Stay close.

Anna

There is no logic to addiction.

I hope that you decide to stop drinking and please know there is lots of support here.

Randummy

Hi Marie,
I think there is a similarity between us. I can't seem to keep sober for more than a few days either. Here for you if you want to talk. I'm new to this forum but I'm around!

marie1973

Thank you Alfaomega. I really want to quit and live truthfully. At this point the only people who have any idea of this is my husband. Actually if friends/coworkers found out they would be floored to say the least. To date, I've been able to hide my problem. I am ashamed of what I done to myself.

SoberLeigh

Hi Marie - when you describe yourself, you describe so many of us here at SR. Maybe you could try logging on frequently or joining a SR group. The Class of February 2014 is amazing; it is on Part 3 now - quite an active group with really amazing people. I don't know how to send you the link but you will find it searching the forums.

SoberLeigh

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html

Here's the link.

ReadyAtLast

Welcome to SR Marie

marie1973

Thank you Soberleigh!

Nonsensical

It's called addiction, and like Anna said, there's no logic to it. You can't make the addicted part of your brain stop craving alcohol through logic, learning, or will. Addictions can't be reasoned with, bargained with, threatened, or educated. You have to starve it.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

marie1973

Well said Nonsensical. Thank you.

2bhappier

Welcome Marie. It helped me to know I am not alone because sometimes I feel like I am terribly alone, a bad mother, etc. SR has helped me tremendously. I hope it helps you too.

steffie

I totally hear you!

I have a wonderful wife and two amazing daughters, a job I love and a nice home, and I keep trying to justify my drinking, when really there is no justification and I can see I have a problem with it. It really is an incredible hold alcohol has that can make people like us play with fire so to speak, with so much to lose.

I am on my 11th sober day and so far so good though, weekends are pretty tough though.

least

I hope our support here can help you stop drinking for good.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Marie

Support really turned things around for me - it was amazing to realise I wasn't alone - and even more amazing to realise there were people here who'd stopped drinking and were happy about it

I know we can help you turn things around too

D