brando58270

Well I'm here because I am an alcoholic and needing a change in my life. I am in my late 30's, married, young kids and was in a very dark place. I was drinking heavily for about 7 years- usually daily the last 3 years were the worst averaging about .5 to .75 liter of vodka a day. I guess you would say I was functioning well- good job, no troubles with the law, active in community but I was a closet wino. I was so tired of the constant hiding of alcohol and sneaking the empty bottles out of the house each morning- very stressful and led to anxiety. Funny how it all starts innocently enough with a beer or two after work, sitting on the deck, or playing poker and then in a blink of an eye I was drinking around my kids and into the wee hours of the night. I've known I've had a problem for awile but didn't want to change.

So about 6 months ago I woke at 630 am and poured myself a drink- went to take a **** and saw myself in the mirrow and didn't recognize what I saw. I looked puffy, strung out, fat (gained about 35 lbs while on the sauce), and not myself. Around the same time I stumbled upon a article on msn about alcoholic liver disease and that hit me pretty hard and basically scared me s**tless. I decided I need to be around for my family and couldn't waste my life or kill myself with a bottle.

Right then and there I decided I needed to stop- and for the most part I have. In the past 6 months I have drank twice- one beer out to dinner- and two beers at a basketball game- not too bad in my mind. Thank god the craving is not there anymore and only rarely is it there- I still think it's the fear that I've wrecked my liver- but whatever it is it is working.

I have lurked on this site and want to thank you all- hearing similiar stories, trials tribulations, etc has been a blessing and has helped me stay on a reletevley clean path. Being sober is awesome- can't begin to explain how it feels to sleep through the night, my days not being a blurr, having patience with my kids and giving them attention rather than my vodka, and overall feeling good.

Thanks again everyone for this sight.

Goldcoastgirl

It's a crazy thing Brando how it sneaks up on you and then all of a sudden - bam! Well done with your recovery!

I can't wait for the craving to go and to not be obsessed about the thought of what I am missing out on. Hopefully that will pass too. Have a wonderful day x

Hevyn

Welcome brando! I'm happy you found us. SR has been a miracle for me & I'm so glad it's helping you stay on track.

It's good that you decided to stop while still young. I wish I'd been as wise - I was in my 50's & my life had spun out of control. You'll be avoiding a lot of pain and anguish. Congratulations on your 6 months.

least

You've made a wise decision to stop drinking. And you've come to a great place for support in staying sober.

Anna

Yes, it sure snuck up on me, too. I'm glad you're doing well.