computerdude

Wow I was quite shocked today when my phone rang and the display said it was from the rehab center. I guess I mentally prepared myself for hearing the worst since past behavior has been pretty good indication of the future, and considering she is not allowed any contact with me for the next 9 mos per the rules, I figured it was a "i got kicked out pick me up call."

Oddly enough it was the opposite. Her counselor was on the line with her and she just told me she loved me and missed me, and the counselor allowed her to call this one time to tell me she can't talk to me for the next 9 months. Said she is really enjoying the place a lot and misses me a lot. Despite missing her a lot, I did tell her it was for the best since our relationship wont be a distraction to her and she can focus on herself, and I can focus on myself too. It was a good call albeit only a few minutes long. She talked about her plans and us and the future. Repeating I love you's and I miss you's a lot.

She had one request that left me a little sad though, she asked if I can pack all of her clothes, jewelry, etc... she stressed again "all" and ship it to her since she is going to be gone for so long. I guess the thought of having all of her stuff out of the house lets my mind wander too much and think of this being final. Not that I'm going to hold her stuff hostage, but it does make me sad thinking about it.

Either way it was at least nice to hear her voice because the next time I hear it again will be somewhere in between 9 mos and never.

Birdygirl

Sounds like you really care. Hopefully the time will allow you both to grow yourselves.
Your post brings tears to my eyes.

And don't take her wanting all of her things too personally, you know how indecisive we can be about our outfits. Sometimes nothing fits!

Take care.

computerdude

That is probably the truest statement I've ever heard Thanks that made me smile. I doubt anything fits anymore, she's gained 30lbs the past 4 months in jail waiting to get into the program.

HopefulinFLA

Wow, 9 months is such a long time without contact. I'm really sad for you, but hopeful that she'll find her way and get well.

Wishing you both the best.

dandylion

Computerdude---I realize that this will be hard, in the beginning, to accept. Aside from this, I think this separation is a good idea, over all. Early recovery is so often described as a "trip through hell" by so many spouses---you will be spared a lot of pain--as will she. The newly recovering generally have a hard time coping with l ife, in general--and a complex relationship.....uugh!! It is a time of imposed selfishness if the alcoholic is to focus as intently on themselves as is needed.

Now, you will have a lot of work to be ready for her and the changes she will have made. If she truly benefits from the treatment--she will be different than you probably expect..or, are used to!

About her "things"---Birdygirl is right, I think....don't take it personally. This is a typical female request.

I am also an over-packer.

dandylion

Mountainmanbob

if that's also your wish
I would trust in God and pray for a healthy future for the two of you
9 months is a long time
but - it will pass sooner than one thinks

best wishes for the two of you
from
Mountainman

Hammer

Did this not start with 6 months?

Allie0721

It is hard to be away for so long, but at least you know she is safe and getting the help she needs for the next 9 months, and the 9 months after that...
Thinking of you...

computerdude

Thanks everyone for the encouragement, I appreciate it. All in all this is time for me to be a little selfish too and I welcome the peace and serenity, I haven't had that in quite some time.

Yes it was originally six months. That was what was sentenced (6 mos inpatient, 6 mos outpatient). However, this is the last treatment facility willing to accept her, and they only have a 9 month program, so that is what she has committed herself to doing.

Hammer

no biggie.

Something that always triggers my alarms are changes on-the-fly without documented Change Orders.

Makes me wonder if things are switching and flipping at the Starting Line -- just where is that Finish Line going to really wind up?

Birdygirl

computerdude ~ Glad I could give you a smile ~ That's what life is about!

Seren

Hi computerdude,

I'm glad to hear you had a good talk with your wife! She's in good hands, and now you have time to heal and work on yourself. All good things, I think.

Take good care!