gertie5474

My ex came over to visit our toddler son with tissue stuffed up his nose. Apparently his nose would not stop running. (Has a “cold”, 2nd one in less than a month, missed a whole week of work last time)

It was dinner time, and I gave my son some snacks to tide him over while dinner was cooking. So he was in his chair on the living room floor. His dad laid on the floor next to him. He proceeded to pass out and started twitching. Ugh.

Fed my son. He is 1.5 y/o so he is just learning to use a fork. He was (like normal) only getting a couple noodles in his mouth at a time. Ex didn’t even notice when he started getting frustrated so I stepped in and fed him.

My sister stopped to drop off my niece who was spending the night. I left the 2 of them in the living room to greet my sister and niece. While we were chatting, my son started fussing. I immediately felt the need to supervise. Nothing was seriously wrong, but the gut reaction that the ex couldn’t take care of my son was unexpected.

All visits are in my home now, although I have been letting them be unsupervised while I was at work (about once every 2 weeks). After this visit, supervision at all times may be in order. 

The further I get away from him emotionally, the clearer things start looking for me. I am not a “woman scorned” punishing him by withholding his son. I am a terrified mother trying desperately to keep my son safe.

I have given up trying to understand. Addiction defies logic. He does not care. And he hates me for leaving, and for keeping his son from him. And I still love him. 

hopeful4

That sounds very scary. I would not let him visit unspervised at this point as it sounds as though he is progressing and unable to care for your son.

I am sorry. Tight Hugs.

cynical one

When I'm sick, I stay away from people, especially the elderly and children.

I think the fact that he would take the risk of infecting a baby speaks for itself.

LoveMeNow

Thank you for being strong a mother, who is putting her child first.

gertie5474

I asked him via text after the visit, not to come over when he is sick like that again.

He replied, "If I cancelled, you would have bad-mouthed me to our son"

I don't do that.


Most of the time I feel strong. I have a very strong maternal instinct so that helps a lot.

Gggddd1970

He's definitely not sick by the sounds of it.... He either doesn't have enough heroin or is coming of it.. Heroin is expensive and the more you take and the longer you take it , the more you need... What if he had a 'bag' or two in his pocket and they fell out under the chairs and the kid ate one ? I'm a recovering heroin addict and still remember the time I 'lost' a bag in the house with my 3 year old girl in the house also ! I have some cheek mentioning this awful scenario, but what if ?

AnvilheadII

He replied, "If I cancelled, you would have bad-mouthed me to our son"

right cuz 1.5 year olds have such an expansive vocabulary and would clearly understand what you said!? the baby is working on operating a fork, for pete's sake.

you did good, mom. real good. keep it up. in time that love you feel will lessen, recede like the tide......passed and twitching with a tissue stuffed up a nostril is such a lovely look.