Goose1

Just chiming in on something I read today for the first time. Hoping it will help someone struggling with the addiction of alcohol or drugs. The saying goes like this; "Recovery is not for those who need it, Recovery is for those who want it." After reading this, I began to reflect back on my years and years of torment through my cycles and cycles of binge drinking. Knowing all the time what was wrong, yet asking myself time and time again. Why, Why, Why do I keep putting myself through this? I now know I didn't have "a want," a desire for "Recovery" enough to make a change. Today I do! I hope this helps someone still struggling to break free. Guard your Eyes, Guard your Heart and Guard your Mind. Breathe and bring yourself back to the present.

Brian316

When I was asked my reasons for relapsing by a counselor and AA old timer in the past I would go into this whole well I quit going to meetings, I was stressed out etc. spiel. They said no you relapsed because you wanted to drink. At first I thought they were being A-holes, like duh!? But actually it was true. I like to drink. But at this point in my life, I like recovery better.

Mags1

Hi Goose1

I agree, I regretted making a fool of myself, embarrassment , hangovers and such but not enough to do anything about it.

When I cared enough I stopped. Easier said than done but, hence, I am understanding what recovery means. A journey with a lot of obstacles and side roads but a road less travelled and very much worth the journey.

Hopefulpromise

Dear Goose One,

Your post gives me so much insight while trying to help my brother who has been addicted to alcohol for the past 5 years. During this time he lost his business, his family, his house, and his hope. For the past five years I have tried to support him emotionally and financially despite everyone telling me that I was only making matters worse. Things came to a head yesterday when he hit rock bottom and starting talking about how he could battle this addiction no longer. He made several references to giving up and was highly intoxicated to the point of not even being able to sit up in a chair. I made the heartbreaking decision to 302 him yesterday and it was by far the most wrenching thing I have ever done. I just want my brother back. I know and truly believe that every time he says he is going to quit he means it with all his heart, but his addiction always wins when morning breaks. How could I get him to see that rehab is his only way out? He has tried it his way with family support for five years. It just doesn't work for him but he is strongly opposed to rehab, although he has remorse today he said he will not go to rehab but will go to meetings. Will this work or am allowing my bling hope to fool me once again. If you have any suggestions, any thing I could say to him to get him to see the light I will be forever grateful.
Warmly,
Cathy

Mags1

Hi Hopefulpromise. Wow, you are an amazing person.

I don't have the answers a s I was the drinker in our house I just know I never gave up drinking permanently until I did it for me, for myself. All the promises I made to myself were paper promises.

Your brother has to take those steps himself, yes there's a lot of support out there and here for him and yourself if you want it.

Goose1

Hi Cathy - I can only imagine how difficult it must be to watch your brother, a loved one go through his addiction with alcohol. As Mags said, "you are an amazing and special person." I am not a professional in the health field. In my opinion I can really only tell you my experiences and what I believe. If you can believe; my wife of today has stood by me for 32 years, marrying into my addiction. Over the years my wife would try to get me to take a look at myself. Years ago, the Marine Corps tried to help me with a rehab stint. For the most part, the education, the principles, the steps and different ways to recovery of this addiction are true. I don't believe there are any magic words that can make one change. However, you say some things that IMO should give you much hope that your brother can change. And should be his hope whether he realizes it or not! It took me awhile at the end of my drinking to actually say "enough is enough." It's funny, dealing with life's situations today, when I whine about someone or something that is bothering me. My wife reminds me, that we are not all made from the same cookie cutter. In the end, I hated drinking, I hated myself for drinking and I hated the person I had to look at in the mirror for drinking. Mirrors don't lie! You say your brother said he wants to quit, that he said he is giving up and he had remorse. IMO this is good - it shows he knows something is wrong and he has a problem. There is Hope for your brother ! You are the greatest of sisters'. I'm thinking by what happened with your brother, you are no longer an enabler to him. I feel this is a good thing. Continue to love and encourage him to seek Sobriety. That it saddens you when you see him drunk. Your love and hope is going to win out in your struggle with your brother's addiction. It's going to be up to your brother to see the light. Help him to see the truth in himself. The truth will help set him free. My prayers go with you. Again HopefulPromise; you are one "Awesome" Sister to your brother. He is very fortunate to have you. Goose

LadyinBC

Great post Goose! It is so true.

least

Thank you for sharing that.

Hopefulpromise

Dear Goose,

First let me say how happy I am for you working so hard to overcome this devastating disease; it sounds like you have a loving guardian angel within your wife. Your words and insight are so helpful to me as I am most looking forward to learning and growing directly from the people who have experienced the disease and coukd shed some insight into the thoughts that swim around in my brothers mind daily.

Unfortunately, they released my brother today with pills to detox on his own. They said his levels were within a safe range now. I am sure they are but it's his mind I am most concerned about. I guess all I could do is pray and love and support him.

Please know I will hold you in my prayers as well as you are an inspiration to many; I guess God has a plan for us all and sometimes he gives us a cross to bear so we could rise above and help others in need.

Warmly,
Cathy

"Be kind to everyone, for everyone is fighting a difficult battle."

Hevyn

Thank you for a beautiful post Goose - and I love your avie.

nicole100

It is possible for your brother to recover without meetings. Personally, I went to rehab before but I didn't want to change, so I continued to drink and to do things inconsistent with how I wanted my life to be.

Currently, I have 30 days of sobriety and I don't really attend meetings...BUT I do want this change and I am working on myself. How meetings and the program will factor in will be determined by how I feel.

I should add that I have a substance abuse therapist that I see weekly.

BUt, yes, it is possible. I wish nothing but the best for both your brother and yourself.