AV won last night
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 46
AV won last night
Well...here I am again....Day 1...fought my AV all day yesterday, but she won. I forgot what a nasty, determined b**** she was. I cried and cursed the bottle as I put it to my lips. I knew how awful I would feel today, but I did it anyway. I despise being this way. Trying very hard not to wallow in self pity, but it is very hard to understand why I am the lucky one who got stuck with this addiction. Why can't I just be normal? But I'm dusting myself off and starting over...going to a meeting tonight. I actually went in and talked to someone at work that I trust who is very open about their sobriety. They invited me to a meeting and I am going. Thankful for that accountability. Starting over sucks, but here goes...Thanks for listening...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Springfield, IL
Posts: 10
Good. I too struggle with frequent relapse. Ultimately only you can hold yourself accountable for your behavior so I'm glad you are here being honest about it - believe it or not that is incredibly important and mature.
Accept who you are. Accept that you can't drink. Ever. When the obsession to drink is lifted, you won't resent being an alcoholic, you won't resent not being able to drink. You will live, sober and content.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 16
You are normal. It's alcohol that is abnormal. It's a powerful poison that distorts our perception of reality and screws with our bodily functions. Where are these so called normal drinkers that people go on about? If they exist they are few and far between. Alcohol wrecks everybody in it's path to some degree. Go visit the courts (sometimes better than the cinema and free!) and it amazes how many court cases are drink related. Visit casualty from Thursday through Sunday. Walk through most city centres while your sober at the weekend....
Have you ever been on a night out while you are completely sober and almost everyone else is drinking? Alcohol changes everyone to some degree and not to an interesting or entertaining level.
I repeat, you are normal, but every fibre of your being is trying to tell you that that stuff you want to put into you is abnormal.
Have you ever been on a night out while you are completely sober and almost everyone else is drinking? Alcohol changes everyone to some degree and not to an interesting or entertaining level.
I repeat, you are normal, but every fibre of your being is trying to tell you that that stuff you want to put into you is abnormal.
You might also do more reading about AVRT, urge surfing, and following cravings through "to the end". I found all of them very helpful.
Don't let yourself off the hook as you're raising that glass-think about the true reality-how you'll feel tomorrow, the possible worst case scenarios, the toll it's taking on your health. It's easy to tell yourself "I'm weak, I can't do this, I'll deal with it tomorrow when I feel stronger" but that just contributes to the AV's line of bs.
Don't let yourself off the hook as you're raising that glass-think about the true reality-how you'll feel tomorrow, the possible worst case scenarios, the toll it's taking on your health. It's easy to tell yourself "I'm weak, I can't do this, I'll deal with it tomorrow when I feel stronger" but that just contributes to the AV's line of bs.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
dogonecarl, that sounds so east now doesnt it.
It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, admit that I cant drink.
Why is it that if someone asked me to drink this bleach everyday i would say no no thatll kill me, but this is so hard.
Now free fromt he obsession i can help others to get there. Just dont drink, EVER. Easy.
It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, admit that I cant drink.
Why is it that if someone asked me to drink this bleach everyday i would say no no thatll kill me, but this is so hard.
Now free fromt he obsession i can help others to get there. Just dont drink, EVER. Easy.
Welcome back Willowgrace
Next time the AV bites, remember you have several thousand reinforcements here. SR saved my butt on more than one night.
If you don't want to drink - log in here. We can help
D
Next time the AV bites, remember you have several thousand reinforcements here. SR saved my butt on more than one night.
If you don't want to drink - log in here. We can help
D
I can go at my own pace and I know that I don't have to be like everyone else. So maybe we really are the normal ones.
Also don't look at it as starting over, you are resetting .
You got back on track willow - that's what matters most. Sometimes we need further proof that there's nothing in it for us anymore - only pain and regret. Glad you shared this with us - you'll do better next time.
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