Holy S**t, did I do that?
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: New Hampshire, USA
Posts: 104
Holy S**t, did I do that?
Whew, what a good day! I am so proud of myself I had to tell someone. Last night I was able to pass two very big hurdles. I am only days into my sobriety so this was huge.
I had not yet told my boyfriend that I have decided to give up drinking completely and so last evening when he came home as he began telling about his awful day, he proceeded to make himself a nice big Jack & coke (arghhhh) right in front of my eyes and..... I just watched him and did not make myself one. HUGE!!!
Half way through his cocktail I decided I better fill him in on my decision and he was so proud of me and even offered to pour out his drink if I needed him to. I said no, I can't expect you not to drink because I cannot. He told me he doesn't really care about drinking anyway so if I want the house emptied of all booze he would be happy to do it. I declined because I think this time around I have to face the demon square in the face and just keep repeating to myself... NO NOT ONE DRINK. NOT NOW, NOT EVER!
The 2nd biggie last night was then going to dinner at our weekly favorite Chinese place. When we sat down the waitress came over and said "A pot of tea, two cups and a Michelob, right?" OMG, I said no, just the tea thanks!
I was so embarrassed to think that every waitress in the place recognizes that I order alcohol every visit, ugh it isn't even a bar for pete's sake! Anyway, I enjoyed the tea, and went home feeling very pleased with myself. The BF is so supportive and hopeful that I can really make the change, I am feeling so good about everything even a day later when I know 5 pm is coming soon and that is my call to commence with the drinks.
I know I can do this. One last thing I wanted to mention here is that I was introduced to AVRT/RR 20 years ago when it was a brand new way of thinking. Back then I understood it intellectually but I don't think I really wanted to stop.
This is my chosen method of recovery and so I won't be counting days. For me that would mean there is an ongoing struggle/battle/decision to be made. I have to accept the simple answer of NO Drinking, ever.
The beast has tried to speak but so far I have shut him down and I understand now that I control my decisions, period.
I am not making light or saying this is easy because yes I would very much like to drink tonight, I just know that it isn't an option for me.
I am writing this today because I have tried so many times in the past and I knew yesterday that somehow this was my time. I want to tell everyone that is starting out that WE can do this and congratulations to all of our little successes today.
Sherri
I had not yet told my boyfriend that I have decided to give up drinking completely and so last evening when he came home as he began telling about his awful day, he proceeded to make himself a nice big Jack & coke (arghhhh) right in front of my eyes and..... I just watched him and did not make myself one. HUGE!!!
Half way through his cocktail I decided I better fill him in on my decision and he was so proud of me and even offered to pour out his drink if I needed him to. I said no, I can't expect you not to drink because I cannot. He told me he doesn't really care about drinking anyway so if I want the house emptied of all booze he would be happy to do it. I declined because I think this time around I have to face the demon square in the face and just keep repeating to myself... NO NOT ONE DRINK. NOT NOW, NOT EVER!
The 2nd biggie last night was then going to dinner at our weekly favorite Chinese place. When we sat down the waitress came over and said "A pot of tea, two cups and a Michelob, right?" OMG, I said no, just the tea thanks!
I was so embarrassed to think that every waitress in the place recognizes that I order alcohol every visit, ugh it isn't even a bar for pete's sake! Anyway, I enjoyed the tea, and went home feeling very pleased with myself. The BF is so supportive and hopeful that I can really make the change, I am feeling so good about everything even a day later when I know 5 pm is coming soon and that is my call to commence with the drinks.
I know I can do this. One last thing I wanted to mention here is that I was introduced to AVRT/RR 20 years ago when it was a brand new way of thinking. Back then I understood it intellectually but I don't think I really wanted to stop.
This is my chosen method of recovery and so I won't be counting days. For me that would mean there is an ongoing struggle/battle/decision to be made. I have to accept the simple answer of NO Drinking, ever.
The beast has tried to speak but so far I have shut him down and I understand now that I control my decisions, period.
I am not making light or saying this is easy because yes I would very much like to drink tonight, I just know that it isn't an option for me.
I am writing this today because I have tried so many times in the past and I knew yesterday that somehow this was my time. I want to tell everyone that is starting out that WE can do this and congratulations to all of our little successes today.
Sherri
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