Dying Inside - How do I stop the panic and anxiety?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Middletown, CT
Posts: 102
Dying Inside - How do I stop the panic and anxiety?
When I went sober 9 days ago I felt so relieved and I felt really healthy and good until last Saturday when the irritability and anxiety set in. Then yesterday the panic and feelings of complete helplessness have started. Today I can't stop crying hysterically and having panic attack after panic attack.
I've been going to meetings and doing what I'm supposed to do and I called my new sponsor today and left a message. I'm a music teacher and tutor and I am coming up with excuses to put off new lessons because I can barely function right now to shower let alone come up with material and plan a lesson. I feel like I am a huge let down to my husband and my friends and a complete failure at life and that I am disappointing everyone around me and I don't know what to do.
When will these feelings stop?? What do I do so I can keep working? I've been drinking herbal teal and exercising and doing yoga and meditating and going to my therapist and attending meetings and reading my Living Sober book and eating healthy and doing hobbies and ALL THE THINGS I'M SUPPOSED TO DO!!!
MY anxiety and depression and irritability and feelings of complete failure and hopelessness keep getting worse.
Please somebody tell me what to do.
I've been going to meetings and doing what I'm supposed to do and I called my new sponsor today and left a message. I'm a music teacher and tutor and I am coming up with excuses to put off new lessons because I can barely function right now to shower let alone come up with material and plan a lesson. I feel like I am a huge let down to my husband and my friends and a complete failure at life and that I am disappointing everyone around me and I don't know what to do.
When will these feelings stop?? What do I do so I can keep working? I've been drinking herbal teal and exercising and doing yoga and meditating and going to my therapist and attending meetings and reading my Living Sober book and eating healthy and doing hobbies and ALL THE THINGS I'M SUPPOSED TO DO!!!
MY anxiety and depression and irritability and feelings of complete failure and hopelessness keep getting worse.
Please somebody tell me what to do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Leeds
Posts: 399
I have suffered from panic attacks for the last few years, but they've gradually gotten better- I've gone from a panic attack every hour to a panic attack around once every two months. Yes, it gets better, but it usually takes work. Diet is a big one, cutting down on caffiene, sugar, drinking (obviously) really helped. Exercise was a massive, massive help as well. Deep breathing, as well as muscle relaxation techniques are also useful. I also try to think positively, even if you don't feel like it. If you wake up every day and tell yourself that you like yourself, one day you will believe it. I think our attitude makes a big difference in how we live our life: if you sit around thinking your life is worthless, you'll never get the drive to go out and do something worthwhile.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 383
Hi 
First off, let me assure you that I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for the years leading up to getting sober, and then during sobriety for a while as well, so I totally get how terrible it is.
Anxiety attacks are part of the way alcohol affects our brains over time and you are suffering from this standard symptom of alcoholism, so don't worry that you are any worse off than many others who have to deal with the same debilitation. Usually people like myself who are perfectionists or control-oriented people suffer more, because the more we experience the loss of control, the worse the anxiety gets. I am here to tell you THERE IS AN END TO IT!
However, it takes time. Being sober 9 days is great - a very good start! But you are looking at a much longer period of time for anxiety to abate entirely. Excess alcohol consumption has rewired your brain this way and it will take some real sober time for your brain to heal. Yoga and good diet are key elements to living better, but don't expect change overnight. The good news is your brain can and will adapt, but the ONE thing you can't do for this to happen is take a drink. NOTHING will be better if you drink - it will only get worse. That said, I'm an alcoholic so I know we can drink anyway, despite knowing this.
Since drinking may end up looking like your only option to relieve the anxiety, consider moving quickly and don't delay contacting a mental health professional - a licensed counselor or psychologist who can address the anxiety. He or she may prescribe a drug to help with the panic attacks. They will also engage you in talk therapy which can be very useful.
If you don't have health insurance or a car to get to treatment, then AA is also a great place to go, and it's free! Even if you don't believe you have a drinking problem, I think it's clear that you could use a safe place to share your struggles, and perhaps you will meet someone there who you can confide in - get their phone number. Maybe alcoholism is the issue, maybe not, but it's certainly a "problem" right? All you need to attend AA is the willingness to quit, which it seems you have!
What you're doing is hard, but going it alone is much harder. I can only offer suggestions but I really hope you will reach out. My anxiety was so bad at one point I couldn't go into stores, or drive, or be alone with my baby daughter. I used to be jealous of others who took their peace of mind for granted. Then I got into AA, got sober and VERY slowly, I got better each day until one day I realized I hadn't had a panic attack in a while. That was a good day
Hang in there - you're not going nuts - just suffering from what alcohol does to our bodies. God bless.
First off, let me assure you that I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for the years leading up to getting sober, and then during sobriety for a while as well, so I totally get how terrible it is. Anxiety attacks are part of the way alcohol affects our brains over time and you are suffering from this standard symptom of alcoholism, so don't worry that you are any worse off than many others who have to deal with the same debilitation. Usually people like myself who are perfectionists or control-oriented people suffer more, because the more we experience the loss of control, the worse the anxiety gets. I am here to tell you THERE IS AN END TO IT!
However, it takes time. Being sober 9 days is great - a very good start! But you are looking at a much longer period of time for anxiety to abate entirely. Excess alcohol consumption has rewired your brain this way and it will take some real sober time for your brain to heal. Yoga and good diet are key elements to living better, but don't expect change overnight. The good news is your brain can and will adapt, but the ONE thing you can't do for this to happen is take a drink. NOTHING will be better if you drink - it will only get worse. That said, I'm an alcoholic so I know we can drink anyway, despite knowing this.
Since drinking may end up looking like your only option to relieve the anxiety, consider moving quickly and don't delay contacting a mental health professional - a licensed counselor or psychologist who can address the anxiety. He or she may prescribe a drug to help with the panic attacks. They will also engage you in talk therapy which can be very useful.
If you don't have health insurance or a car to get to treatment, then AA is also a great place to go, and it's free! Even if you don't believe you have a drinking problem, I think it's clear that you could use a safe place to share your struggles, and perhaps you will meet someone there who you can confide in - get their phone number. Maybe alcoholism is the issue, maybe not, but it's certainly a "problem" right? All you need to attend AA is the willingness to quit, which it seems you have!
What you're doing is hard, but going it alone is much harder. I can only offer suggestions but I really hope you will reach out. My anxiety was so bad at one point I couldn't go into stores, or drive, or be alone with my baby daughter. I used to be jealous of others who took their peace of mind for granted. Then I got into AA, got sober and VERY slowly, I got better each day until one day I realized I hadn't had a panic attack in a while. That was a good day
Hang in there - you're not going nuts - just suffering from what alcohol does to our bodies. God bless.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I'm another member of the anxiety/panic club. I had become agoraphobic in my drinking, and lost all my ability to function. My life was completely unmanagable. I couldn't leave the house. And it didn't end the day I put the drink the down. It ended slowly, over time. Early sobriety is the toughest because we have no tools to deal with it. If we're open minded and willing enough however, we're presented with the tools, and then it's up to us to use them. If we don't, nothing changes. If we do, it gets a little easier, and then we eventually heal.
A handful of tools have already been suggested. I urge you to put them to use. And I'll harp on a few that were essential in my first few months.
Relaxation exercises. I was told early on by a counselor that if we really wanted to benefit from them we had to do them reguarly. Not just from time to time. Like working out in a gym, we get the lasting benefits from repeated practice. There are a lot of deep breathing exercise guides available on the internet. I used to just lay on my bed, tense up the muscles in my feet, breath in deeply and slowly, then exhale and relax my feet. Then I'd go to my calves, thighs, etc, till I got my whole body relaxed... and then continue deep breathing counting on my inhales, and exhales. There are many variations of that you can find, but it was essential for me to do it daily.
Reading positive material also helped immensely. My brain was hard wired to black. Full of negativity with little if any room for hope. I needed a thorough brain washing and had to fill my brain with as much positive info as possible, as often as possible. Norman Vincent Peale's Power of Positive Thinking was really helpful. It's Christian based, but I just replaced my concept of a HP wherever the word God or Jesus popped up. It helped a lot. There are tons of positive thinking books available. AA Bigbook also gave me a lot of hope. And I read the 24 hour book daily, often more than once. Point was to overload my brain with positivity.
Prayer was another really important tool. At times, very few actually, it took the anxiety and panic away... but more often than not, it gave me the strength, courage, and ability to walk through it. To get to the other side of what I needed to do, which in turn helped me to grow less afraid of the panic, which helped it to heal. Was a process, and not always a comfortable one. I'm not one who believes all suffering however to be bad. We can learn and grow from it, and in this case learn how to heal to it.
There are lots of other suggestions here at SR for dealing with this kind of thing. I myself would only choose the medication route as an absolute last resource. It's always there if necessary, but there are many tools available to be rid of this stuff forever, as opposed to medicate it. Early sobriety is absolutely the toughest, but you're not alone, and many of us have grown past it.
Just popped into my head that I remember that alongside the anxiety and panic, I had the very distinct feeling that the inside of my head was like a pressure cooker and it needed alcohol as a release. I really felt as though I was going to explode over time without it, until I got comfortable utilizing the tools I was given. Takes time, but it's worth the effort, and the discomfort. It WILL get better.
A handful of tools have already been suggested. I urge you to put them to use. And I'll harp on a few that were essential in my first few months.
Relaxation exercises. I was told early on by a counselor that if we really wanted to benefit from them we had to do them reguarly. Not just from time to time. Like working out in a gym, we get the lasting benefits from repeated practice. There are a lot of deep breathing exercise guides available on the internet. I used to just lay on my bed, tense up the muscles in my feet, breath in deeply and slowly, then exhale and relax my feet. Then I'd go to my calves, thighs, etc, till I got my whole body relaxed... and then continue deep breathing counting on my inhales, and exhales. There are many variations of that you can find, but it was essential for me to do it daily.
Reading positive material also helped immensely. My brain was hard wired to black. Full of negativity with little if any room for hope. I needed a thorough brain washing and had to fill my brain with as much positive info as possible, as often as possible. Norman Vincent Peale's Power of Positive Thinking was really helpful. It's Christian based, but I just replaced my concept of a HP wherever the word God or Jesus popped up. It helped a lot. There are tons of positive thinking books available. AA Bigbook also gave me a lot of hope. And I read the 24 hour book daily, often more than once. Point was to overload my brain with positivity.
Prayer was another really important tool. At times, very few actually, it took the anxiety and panic away... but more often than not, it gave me the strength, courage, and ability to walk through it. To get to the other side of what I needed to do, which in turn helped me to grow less afraid of the panic, which helped it to heal. Was a process, and not always a comfortable one. I'm not one who believes all suffering however to be bad. We can learn and grow from it, and in this case learn how to heal to it.
There are lots of other suggestions here at SR for dealing with this kind of thing. I myself would only choose the medication route as an absolute last resource. It's always there if necessary, but there are many tools available to be rid of this stuff forever, as opposed to medicate it. Early sobriety is absolutely the toughest, but you're not alone, and many of us have grown past it.
Just popped into my head that I remember that alongside the anxiety and panic, I had the very distinct feeling that the inside of my head was like a pressure cooker and it needed alcohol as a release. I really felt as though I was going to explode over time without it, until I got comfortable utilizing the tools I was given. Takes time, but it's worth the effort, and the discomfort. It WILL get better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
First of all give yourself a break!! You are doing what needs to be done and that is not "disappointing" to anyone. We tend to beat ourselves up more than anyone else. When I first got sober the fear of the unknown causes a lot of anxiety. I could create so many problems in my head. Most not real but just self-created. We can be a strange bunch:-) I have to look at my anxiety as growth. I was putting myself in a situation that I did not like, not drinking, and my body/brain were not happy. Sometimes these uncomfortable and scary situations are when we grow the most. You are growing and it is tough. It will get better. You hang in there!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
Nine days is still very early, in my experience the second and third weeks have been by far the most challenging in terms of emotional and psychological anguish. While it is really tough, to risk being labelled a broken record here, it does get a whole lot better.
A Little Wingy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 923
You have to be patient with this, and do everything in your power not to drink. What you're experiencing is normal, sad fact. We didn't get into this mess over night, right?
I went through similar things, I wanted to cry.....I didn't want to cry, the emotions were nuts, up and down, and all over the place. Guess what? It's all balanced out today, I rode it out, you can too, just be patient, it will get better. Make little changes, keep yourself busy, drink a ton of water. Read all the information you can get your hands on to help you. Work a program best fitted for you. I'm using the woman for sobriety, it's been a blessing to me, it's taught me what I needed to do.
Hang in there, it will get better, that's a promise. If I can do it, so can you
I went through similar things, I wanted to cry.....I didn't want to cry, the emotions were nuts, up and down, and all over the place. Guess what? It's all balanced out today, I rode it out, you can too, just be patient, it will get better. Make little changes, keep yourself busy, drink a ton of water. Read all the information you can get your hands on to help you. Work a program best fitted for you. I'm using the woman for sobriety, it's been a blessing to me, it's taught me what I needed to do.
Hang in there, it will get better, that's a promise. If I can do it, so can you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: McKinlyville, Ca.
Posts: 214
The feeling inside is normal even as crazy as it feels. Going insane then feeling ok within seconds. Focus on making it through today. Tomorrow is a whole different day then today.
shake it off, scream it out, do what you need for THE NOW.
shake it off, scream it out, do what you need for THE NOW.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
Congrats on 9 days! As others have said, it will take some time for you to feel ok and on top of things again. Putting down the booze is just the first part. Your brain and body need time to heal. You are ill. You need time to heal and recouperate.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: FtW, Tx
Posts: 198
Cheydinhal,
I have managed my anxiety in a number of ways. Working the the steps, Cognitive behavioral Therapy, getting outside and looking at nature, taking my vitamins, not taking on more than I can handle and simplifying my life. Taking time to take care of myself. I asked my higher power to take my anxiety and I would do my part to follow his path. When I asked for help I meant it from the bottom of my deepest soul. I researched anxiety and did everything under the sun that I found until I found what worked for me. Today I know more of what triggers my anxiety and how to manage it and I am thankful that I have gone over a year with my anxiety at 0-1 not 9-10. I stay away from caffeine. It is probably my biggest thing that can get me amped up.
I do know that alcohol causes anxiety it does not relieve it on the long term. I hope you find resolution as I know how debilitating it can be. One more thing that I have done is just pinch myself and ask which hurts worse the pinch or what I am obsessing about at the time. When it is obviously the pinch then it puts in perspective what I was obsessing about at the time. Also holding an ice cube in your hand and squeezing has helped me.
I have managed my anxiety in a number of ways. Working the the steps, Cognitive behavioral Therapy, getting outside and looking at nature, taking my vitamins, not taking on more than I can handle and simplifying my life. Taking time to take care of myself. I asked my higher power to take my anxiety and I would do my part to follow his path. When I asked for help I meant it from the bottom of my deepest soul. I researched anxiety and did everything under the sun that I found until I found what worked for me. Today I know more of what triggers my anxiety and how to manage it and I am thankful that I have gone over a year with my anxiety at 0-1 not 9-10. I stay away from caffeine. It is probably my biggest thing that can get me amped up.
I do know that alcohol causes anxiety it does not relieve it on the long term. I hope you find resolution as I know how debilitating it can be. One more thing that I have done is just pinch myself and ask which hurts worse the pinch or what I am obsessing about at the time. When it is obviously the pinch then it puts in perspective what I was obsessing about at the time. Also holding an ice cube in your hand and squeezing has helped me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Middletown, CT
Posts: 102
Originally Posted by Climber122 
Since drinking may end up looking like your only option to relieve the anxiety, consider moving quickly and don't delay contacting a mental health professional - a licensed counselor or psychologist who can address the anxiety. He or she may prescribe a drug to help with the panic attacks. They will also engage you in talk therapy which can be very useful.
All you need to attend AA is the willingness to quit, which it seems you have!
I am an alcoholic and I recognize it and admit it. I've been seeing a licensed counselor for nearly a year and it helps me. I also began attending AA meetings a week ago. I have no desire to drink. I'm on the right path. Just had a bad day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Middletown, CT
Posts: 102
Thank you so much to all of you - my AA meeting today helped a lot and you all have offered wonderful advice and support. I am a complete control freak and the pressure cooker analogy is EXACTLY what my mind has felt like for so many years! This is a brand new experience and it's hard to admit that I don't have knowledge about it and admit that I need help and admit that I am vulnerable. Today is a "one hour at a time" kind of day but maybe tomorrow will be better. The thing I've learned today is to focus on nothing but the present. Focusing on the past brings depression and focusing on the future brings anxiety. For now, it's the present for me - hugs to you all, thank you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Originally Posted by Cheydinhal
I am an alcoholic and I recognize it and admit it. I have no desire to drink. I'm on the right path. Just had a bad day.
Good luck. I am glad to have you with us on this difficult but very rewarding journey.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
hey Cheydinhal
you've had some great advice here.
One thing that someone here said to me when I was struggling with this is...maybe you're right where you're meant to be.
I was wanting to be 6 miles up the road, calm cool and collected with my finger on every pulse and every box ticked, cos that's the kind of guy I am...
but I was totally forgetting I was recovering from a pretty serious condition that had plagued me for years, decades even.
It's ok not to have all the answers right now...and realising that somehow made it all a little easier for me, I think?
Things will get better - try not overwhelm yourself in the meantime
D
you've had some great advice here.
One thing that someone here said to me when I was struggling with this is...maybe you're right where you're meant to be.
I was wanting to be 6 miles up the road, calm cool and collected with my finger on every pulse and every box ticked, cos that's the kind of guy I am...
but I was totally forgetting I was recovering from a pretty serious condition that had plagued me for years, decades even.
It's ok not to have all the answers right now...and realising that somehow made it all a little easier for me, I think?
Things will get better - try not overwhelm yourself in the meantime
D
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