unsureoffuture

Just when I think I have things figured out, the next roadblock appears and I am right back to square one. UGHHHHH! I just wonder why why why can't things just go smoothly for once.

I was all prepared to file for divorce from ADH. I have prepared over the last year, saved money, got consultations with attorneys, planned where to go if I need to move out with the kids. I finally wised up and realized things aren't going to change the way they are. Nothing changes if nothing changes! I filled out the paperwork, set up the appointment with the attorney and then WHAM, ADH loses his job. After 18 years, his company is shutting down. So now my plans are on hold because I cant file while he is unemployed or else I have to pay him. This has been my worst fear all along that he will lose his job and now have an "excuse" to stay home and drink. ADH has been very "functioning" as far as work goes- never misses a day, never calls in sick etc etc. It feels as though work is the only thing keeping him "afloat". On weekends he still binges, hides alcohol and refuses to seek help. I fear this will be the downward spiral.

Since he found out, he has yet to apply for another job although he keeps telling me he is working in it. He is a highly regarded healthcare professional who now tells me..he's just "burnt out" in his field and just "cant do it anymore" and wants to change careers. Really? Who is going to hire a 50 y/o alcoholic in a brand new field in this economy? I'm just so over it. I feel so depressed lately. I am "stuck" in a marriage I hate. Really the only benefit to being with ADH was help financially. Now I am really doing it all so to speak. I just hope my HP guides me through.

JustAGirl1971

I'm sorry. Loss of his job was the beginning of the end for us. To be honest though, I don't see why you can't still file? Won't he be eligible for unemployment? He can live off of that. Are you in a state that's liberal with alimony? I, fortunately, am in a state that only grants alimony in very specific cases and usually only short-term.

hopeful4

I am so sorry. I don't know how that works. I would definitely speak to your attorney about it. I understand your anxiety.

I send you hugs and prayers. We are here for you!

lillamy

Well that blows. *sigh*

Talk to the lawyer.

I'm not saying this applies to you at all, but when I was still living with an active A, the roadblocks sometimes seemed more absolute than they were. Maybe there is a way around this.

You know how it's gotten better for me? One day at a time. And some days, it's been one step forward, eight steps back. But the general trend is toward better. I wish it was clearer and faster but it is at least going the right direction.

Pia

I was wondering do you know when his last day is? Some places give you several months notice. You could still file. And if he straighten up you can always have it dismissed.
I know talking with some friends I was advised if my AH caused an accident and hurt someone I would be protecting myself bc I filed for the divorce and it couldn't come back on me. Just something to think of.