SoberMama13

Went to another dinner tonight where there were people drinking (this is my 3rd party/gathering since I've gotten sober 2 1/2 months ago).

It was fine. I didn't drink. My disease kept creeping in with a bit of jealousy and the whole "couldn't you just have 1??". But I fought it off and didn't drink.

At the end while saying goodbyes, my friend asked me "Hey, do you want to take these beers home?" Because I always did before. Oh wait, there were never any beers left because I drank them all. Anyway, hugging her I said "Actually I got out of rehab in November". And was met with such a blank look. Like, What? What did you just say to me? And then she tried to kind of hide the beers and said "I don't want to tempt you". I almost laughed. I'd been with them for three hours already."No worries," I said. "I don't want it, actually"

And then ensued an extremely brief conversation during which I kinda threw out AA and how well I've been doing and how amazed I was that I've not had a drink in 70 something days and was met with SILENCE. And NOTHING.

They just don't get it.
And that has to be ok.
I'm glad you guys are here because you DO get it.
Thank you

Hearts

Maybe they felt guilty that they'd been drinking in front of you and didn't know what to say.

CAPTAINZING2000

Do these friends drink to excess?

instant

Only those who have walked similar paths, or have a loved one who has will get it.

deeker

I am glad you made it through the gathering. I personally avoided any gatherings with alcohol. I'd would have just been miserable and preoocupied the whole night with drinking. At least in my first few months.

HeartsAfire

This. ^^

I dealt with an addiction issue with my ex-husband that few understand. It was kind of like a car wreck to those outside of my support group. I think not only do people not understand, but it hits a little too close to home for others. Like you, I got to a point where their reactions just had to be ok. It wasn't my job to make them feel better about what I had been thru. You get this too and it's a tough lesson to learn (or was for me anyway). It's been almost 8 years now and I still have friends who squirm if it naturally comes up in conversation.

You might be surprised at those who confide in you that they too are walking a similar path now that yours is out in the open.

Like you, I was so thankful to be around my group who did understand. I'm glad you're here.

grandma12

yes we get it. the longer im sober the more I get.

FreeFall

I've even had a reaction from some people like they're almost disappointed I can be around it and not have it bother me if they're drinking. I think it's mainly from people who know they also have a problem and can't imagine being okay sober.

It's okay if they don't get it, you're on your own journey. But, you are also letting them know that you get it, so if they ever decide to quit they'll have an ally and support.