How is this craving different?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: palm springs, ca
Posts: 6
How is this craving different?
Please don't anyone be offended, I'm not trying to justify drinking.
However, the back of my mind is, and it's saying, "Why does wanting a drink mean you have a problem? When you're hungry, you think of nothing but food. What's more, the food you want is bad for you (I love pizza!). I'm not addicted to food, I maintain my body weight in a healthy range. It's hard to do so, and I have to exercise and pay attention to what I eat and occasionally diet. In fact, I will fast from time to time to get my body used to not having so much food, and maybe retrain my brain to be able to say no to yummy things.
So how is alcohol different? I'm trying to win this argument with myself, but right now the only thing I have come up with is that you don't have to have alcohol, so you can skip it entirely, whereas food is required sooner or later. To which my mind says, "So? The reasoning still stands. That is beside the point."
Even when I have quite a bit with friends, I don't normally drink enough where others can tell for sure. They may suspect because I may laugh too much or look a little funny, but I don't go crazy or pass out or anything obvious. So it seems extreme to avoid it altogether.
Then I read posts from people here who seem to know better. I am very new to this site and to this whole idea of abstinence, so I am really looking for clear answers. "Just quit" doesn't work for pizza. I keep going back. But I'm not convinced that "Just quit" is anything but exactly right with drinking.
I realize I may be rationalizing, but it's been a confounding internal discussion. Has anyone here had this discussion as well? How did you make sense of it all?
However, the back of my mind is, and it's saying, "Why does wanting a drink mean you have a problem? When you're hungry, you think of nothing but food. What's more, the food you want is bad for you (I love pizza!). I'm not addicted to food, I maintain my body weight in a healthy range. It's hard to do so, and I have to exercise and pay attention to what I eat and occasionally diet. In fact, I will fast from time to time to get my body used to not having so much food, and maybe retrain my brain to be able to say no to yummy things.
So how is alcohol different? I'm trying to win this argument with myself, but right now the only thing I have come up with is that you don't have to have alcohol, so you can skip it entirely, whereas food is required sooner or later. To which my mind says, "So? The reasoning still stands. That is beside the point."
Even when I have quite a bit with friends, I don't normally drink enough where others can tell for sure. They may suspect because I may laugh too much or look a little funny, but I don't go crazy or pass out or anything obvious. So it seems extreme to avoid it altogether.
Then I read posts from people here who seem to know better. I am very new to this site and to this whole idea of abstinence, so I am really looking for clear answers. "Just quit" doesn't work for pizza. I keep going back. But I'm not convinced that "Just quit" is anything but exactly right with drinking.
I realize I may be rationalizing, but it's been a confounding internal discussion. Has anyone here had this discussion as well? How did you make sense of it all?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 14
Ill probably get blasted for this, but everything in moderation. Wanting a drink doesn't mean you have a problem, a lot of people want a drink and enjoy have an occasional drink. However i think most of the people here "enjoyed" drinking to much. The occasional drink was never just one. Take your pizza example, sure we all eat bad food every once in a while and it's not big deal, and when we want a pizza it's not a problem to eat a slice or two. The issue occurs when that craving for pizza is every day and your appetite is insatiable until your day revolves around finding pizza. In this scenario it becomes a detriment to your life, and eventually leads to various health and social concerns. That is the same situation that many people have faced but with alcohol, I know that I want a drink every once in a while but that almost always meant a fifth of liquor or a 45-50$ bar tab. And when this has been your reality for a significant amount of time it is hard to pull away from what has become normal and comfortable. And if and when you finally repress the cravings sometimes it's better to not give in.. That's just my 2 cents
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi enufznuf
I know why me wanting a drink is a problem....you? I'm not really sure.
Tough to work out on what you've shared so far.
I know you're pretty ambivalent, but people with no problem usually don't lob up to recovery forums.
If, as you've suggested in other threads. alcohol is your way of dealing with tough situations, can we at least agree that there must be other healthier ways to solve problems?
Alcohol never actually solved any problem for me - alcohol was running away from reality and problems.
If you've been using alcohol in the same way, and continue to, you could be setting yourself up for the same maladaptive use of alcohol I and lots of others here have.
You may already be there...
D
I know why me wanting a drink is a problem....you? I'm not really sure.
Tough to work out on what you've shared so far.
I know you're pretty ambivalent, but people with no problem usually don't lob up to recovery forums.
If, as you've suggested in other threads. alcohol is your way of dealing with tough situations, can we at least agree that there must be other healthier ways to solve problems?
Alcohol never actually solved any problem for me - alcohol was running away from reality and problems.
If you've been using alcohol in the same way, and continue to, you could be setting yourself up for the same maladaptive use of alcohol I and lots of others here have.
You may already be there...
D
Last edited by Dee74; 01-23-2014 at 01:40 AM.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 190
The bigger issue is what you do with that want/thought and what follows after. For me, if I feel like I "want" a drink, and I end up doing it, I know the consequence is that I am getting drunk. It's guaranteed. I've tried to moderate, but if I'm not getting drunk, I don't see a point to alcohol. I've found out that's how my brain works after experience(CONSTANT failing at controlling attempts) and an honest self-evaluation. Once I get drunk, I'll black out. Then the next day, hopefully I can function enough for work or I'm calling in sick again, or I did something new that's embarrassing I'll learn about or my family is very upset, or there are more severe consequences like not knowing where my car is...
For me, I started to 'want' drink(which again, for me, leads to getting drunk) to feel good. So I did this while in my early drinking career when I was bored at home, with certain friends, sporting events and concerts forget about it, holidays, anything etc. Long enough, it eventually became a habit and associated with these things to the point where I wouldn't know how to function in them without alcohol. Combine this with the the idea that the pre-disposed alcoholic brain is altered by alcohol doesn't make it easy. So "just stopping" isn't an answer for me. It's about learning how to cope and be in those situations without alcohol. It's also about finding other ways to feel good which I threw away when I found out how much I like alcohol. It's about lifestyle change, not just stopping.
Some people can moderate...have one and just stop and have a drink but once every few months or a year or so. Me? Again, I don't see the point of just one...or two...or three....or four, etc. To determine whether or not that "want" is going to be a problem, I would recommend taking an completely honest self-evaluation with your relationship with alcohol, a certain behavior, pizza, etc.
The same can be applied to pizza. Can I just have a slice a pizza and be healthy with it? Or if I have a slice, will I binge on it, and that leads consequences in the long run(obesity, heart disease, financial, etc)? With my addict brain, I'll also make excuses like "oh it wasn't that bad last time". So honesty and complete openness with concrete evidence and caution must be used.
Sorry for rambling. Hope this helps a little...just my 2 cents.
For me, I started to 'want' drink(which again, for me, leads to getting drunk) to feel good. So I did this while in my early drinking career when I was bored at home, with certain friends, sporting events and concerts forget about it, holidays, anything etc. Long enough, it eventually became a habit and associated with these things to the point where I wouldn't know how to function in them without alcohol. Combine this with the the idea that the pre-disposed alcoholic brain is altered by alcohol doesn't make it easy. So "just stopping" isn't an answer for me. It's about learning how to cope and be in those situations without alcohol. It's also about finding other ways to feel good which I threw away when I found out how much I like alcohol. It's about lifestyle change, not just stopping.
Some people can moderate...have one and just stop and have a drink but once every few months or a year or so. Me? Again, I don't see the point of just one...or two...or three....or four, etc. To determine whether or not that "want" is going to be a problem, I would recommend taking an completely honest self-evaluation with your relationship with alcohol, a certain behavior, pizza, etc.
The same can be applied to pizza. Can I just have a slice a pizza and be healthy with it? Or if I have a slice, will I binge on it, and that leads consequences in the long run(obesity, heart disease, financial, etc)? With my addict brain, I'll also make excuses like "oh it wasn't that bad last time". So honesty and complete openness with concrete evidence and caution must be used.
Sorry for rambling. Hope this helps a little...just my 2 cents.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Many people like a drink,want a drink and don't have a problem -that's fine.
Most people don't sign up to SR though .People who do tend to know deep down that they do have a problem and are just trying to convince themselves that they don't. Poeple who don't have a problem don't think about drinking or try to rationalize it.
Most people don't sign up to SR though .People who do tend to know deep down that they do have a problem and are just trying to convince themselves that they don't. Poeple who don't have a problem don't think about drinking or try to rationalize it.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by enufznuf 
Why does wanting a drink mean you have a problem?
Try it for three months. No drinking. There's much to be learned in the struggle.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: palm springs, ca
Posts: 6
I just love this forum. Thank you all for your responses. I take them to heart.
Dee74, thanks also for remembering me. What a thoughtful person you are!
newman23, I didn't think that was droning on at all. I do understand your point in that I do feel like there is no point in one drink, but I get mixed signals about multiple drinks.
For example, the definition of a binge is more than 4 drinks worth of alcohol. Then I look at one 22 ounce bottle of Double Bastard Ale, which is 11.7%, and there is enough alcohol in one of those to qualify as a binge. Really, that's a binge? I can see having a couple of those, calling it a day on drinking, and not thinking I had more than doubled the binge definition. Is our general definition of society that out of whack? I guess medical definitions ought to be the rule of thumb, and that would mean yes. Wow.
I'm on Day 23 right now. I plan on going at least a month. Perhaps I'll move that out to 3 months as doggonecarl suggested. So far, so good, but that means nothing. Numbers mean something. I guess I need to get some more days under my belt before I even think about it?
Dee74, thanks also for remembering me. What a thoughtful person you are!
newman23, I didn't think that was droning on at all. I do understand your point in that I do feel like there is no point in one drink, but I get mixed signals about multiple drinks.
For example, the definition of a binge is more than 4 drinks worth of alcohol. Then I look at one 22 ounce bottle of Double Bastard Ale, which is 11.7%, and there is enough alcohol in one of those to qualify as a binge. Really, that's a binge? I can see having a couple of those, calling it a day on drinking, and not thinking I had more than doubled the binge definition. Is our general definition of society that out of whack? I guess medical definitions ought to be the rule of thumb, and that would mean yes. Wow.
I'm on Day 23 right now. I plan on going at least a month. Perhaps I'll move that out to 3 months as doggonecarl suggested. So far, so good, but that means nothing. Numbers mean something. I guess I need to get some more days under my belt before I even think about it?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think, for all your rationalising, something keeps bringing you back here Enuf
why not go for 30 days? heck go for 60...at the very least you may find your mind is a little clearer to help you work out what's what
D
why not go for 30 days? heck go for 60...at the very least you may find your mind is a little clearer to help you work out what's what
D
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by enufznuf
However, the back of my mind is, and it's saying, "Why does wanting a drink mean you have a problem? When you're hungry, you think of nothing but food. What's more, the food you want is bad for you (I love pizza!). I'm not addicted to food, I maintain my body weight in a healthy range. It's hard to do so, and I have to exercise and pay attention to what I eat and occasionally diet. In fact, I will fast from time to time to get my body used to not having so much food, and maybe retrain my brain to be able to say no to yummy things.
So how is alcohol different? I'm trying to win this argument with myself, but right now the only thing I have come up with is that you don't have to have alcohol, so you can skip it entirely, whereas food is required sooner or later. To which my mind says, "So? The reasoning still stands. That is beside the point."
So how is alcohol different? I'm trying to win this argument with myself, but right now the only thing I have come up with is that you don't have to have alcohol, so you can skip it entirely, whereas food is required sooner or later. To which my mind says, "So? The reasoning still stands. That is beside the point."
Great job on 23 days. Good luck on your journey!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
We're very happy to have you with us Enuf. It's good that you're asking these questions and figuring things out. Only you can know how drinking has impacted your life, but sharing our thoughts here is very productive.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
I'm glad you're here and posting.
I hope that you find, as your time not drinking continues, the answers will be more clear to you and you will understand that sobriety has a lot of value in your life.
I hope that you find, as your time not drinking continues, the answers will be more clear to you and you will understand that sobriety has a lot of value in your life.
Alcohol Free Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Hi enufznuf
I think the answer is in your name (enufznuf), you have had enough of the Merry-Go-Round/Carousel, you want to get off. However the part of you that switches on, when your body craves alcohol, is trying to placate you. You have a choice, keep drinking or live up to your name enufznuf.
No one can tell you what to do, your the boss here. Your the one that has to live with the consequences, but before you pick up your next alcoholic drink, read the posts on SR for newcomers. See if anything rings a bell inside you.
I think the answer is in your name (enufznuf), you have had enough of the Merry-Go-Round/Carousel, you want to get off. However the part of you that switches on, when your body craves alcohol, is trying to placate you. You have a choice, keep drinking or live up to your name enufznuf.
No one can tell you what to do, your the boss here. Your the one that has to live with the consequences, but before you pick up your next alcoholic drink, read the posts on SR for newcomers. See if anything rings a bell inside you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: palm springs, ca
Posts: 6
Well, I figured out the difference. Here it is. My mind, after a slice or two or three of pizza, is still telling me it's bad for me and it's time to stop. My mind, after a drink or two or three, is no longer making the same decisions it would make otherwise. In other words, I crave food, but it doesn't blow up my computer. I crave a drink, but it blows up my computer. So it's not the same at all. One I can and will stop. The other, I can and will stop UNTIL I TAKE A DRINK! Ah hah! So, I need to make the decision during the only time I can - when I have had none. Somehow that makes sense out of this and gives me comfort in stopping. Can't say why.
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