Ncognito13

I'm kinda conflicted right now. My friend has a Superbowl party I've gone to for the past 5 years. Tons of food, beer, 60' flat screen, surround sound. It's always fun. I see people I have not seen in months. We play LCR at halftime. But I will get drunk as crap. My options are stay at home, or go and not drink. I could go and tell everyone I'm not drinking, but for reasons I can't explain I don't want to hang out with 30+ people sober. I could just stay home? Doesn't seem fun to me.

PurpleKnight

Might not be fun, but you'll be Sober!!

We gotta do what we gotta do to protect our Sobriety, but we all have to make some tough decisions along the way!!

We've all been there though, so know how difficult it can be!

Skye2

Staying home might not seem fun, but it's not going be like that forever Just until you have more coping skills

Anna

Stay home and take care of your sobriety.

doggonecarl

I'll repeat what I put in another post of yours...seems more fitting here.

Sobriety is either your number one priority, or it isn't.

What does going to a Superbowl party say about your committment to stay sober? Bear in mind, this question is on the heels of you relapsing at a football event.

OliveDog

You can miss one little Super Bowl party to protect your sobriety. You'll be up to two weeks again by then.

They happen every year, it seems. You can catch the next one.

I'm certainly not going to any parties anytime soon.

Best of luck,
ODog

Kensho

Maybe you can think of it this way: given recent evidence, you are likely to "get drunk as crap", and wake up the next day with all the leftover crap: hangover, embarrassment, etc.

Does that sound like fun?

It's interesting that first you state: "I will get drunk as crap" - and then the verb you use for the other "options" is "could". Maybe that subconscious "slip of the tongue" is cluing you in to exactly what your real options are: Go and get drunk, or stay away.

But - and this is just a thought, is all - maybe you could set aside thinking about the good ole days at this event, and plan on staying in with all your favorite foods, munchies, and non-alcoholic drinks, and get into the game, root for your team, etc. When I'm trying to change what I'm focusing on, it actually helps me to say it aloud to myself - even to keep a running conversation - in this case about how much you might actually enjoy watching the game at home, given the chance.

I'm not saying that's easy. And I know that, more often than not, advice is cheap. So, forgive me if I'm out of line.

By the way, there's a Super Bowl Sobriety thread in the Alcoholism Forum. Maybe you could hang there a bit.

Be well.

choublak

What's LCR?

aasharon90

Many times I would hear from those
that have stayed sober for long periods
of time, that if someone has made up
their mind up on taking a drink then
they probably will.

In order for recovery to work for me,
I had to learn how to make changes
in my life. I had to learn how to change
people, places and things that I use to use
when drinking and let them go. Get rid of
them.

I learned that no one really had time
to worry if I was drinking or not because
they all had their own lives to live. Learning
stay sober and remain sober has to be my
own responsibility. My recovery belongs
to me and not my family or friends.

Supper Bowl will come and it will go and
life goes on. There will always be a reason
to party, to drink, get drunk, pay the price
until the vicious cycle , or demon alcohol
is layed to rest.

Grab a hold of someone you feel comfortable
with and let them lead you into learning how
to remain sober today and for many more
one days at a time down the road.

Ncognito13

Dice game. You start with 10 bucks. You lose money, gain it, but the winner (with 30 ppl or so) wins $300. Lots of fun, don't care if I win. Played it with over 80 ppl once. Some lucky guy won $800.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LCR_(dice_game)

ReadyAtLast

You're doing the right thing. If sobriety is a priority then missing drinking events is the best option, at least in the short term till you've built up your sober muscles.

Putting ourselves in drinking situations over and over again and not making any life changes in early sobriety is not going to have a good outcome.

Anna did a great thread on this over the weekend

Hope4Life

The most important thing needs to be YOU and your sobriety. Even though you may be away from all those folks at the SB party, you will be safe from another relapse. If being around folks who are drinking will make you drink, perhaps you should find some non drinking friends and invite them to your house to watch the game??

For me, one of the most important decisions that I made when I decided to stop drinking was to STOP hanging around with drinkers! While some of these folks may be your TRUE friends, you should really consider just how important their friendship is if they cause you to drink. Try explaining your situation to those you feel are TRUE friends... if they cannot understand your need for sobriety or try to influence you to continue drinking, you should really consider just how TRUE a friend they are!

If they cannot understand your desire for sobriety and insist on drinking around you... are they really friends?

Give yourself some time to be confident in your sobriety before attending ANY gathering where alcohol consumption is the main activity.

YOU can do this!

Ethos23

My 2 cents. If you really want to be sober, maybe sit it out. I have noticed this time around that I am going to have to sit out similar events in early sobriety. I know I can go and not drink, but then I feel resentful and oftentimes cave some days after. I am thinking of every life choice, at this point in my sobriety (19 days under my belt) as, "What will HELP get me to my goal (not drinking ever again)", and "What will PREVENT me from getting to my goal?"

Like I said, just my 2 cents.

Ncognito13

A big issue for me this this. I used to work at a high end bar. No Bud Light, Coors. Over 500+ good beers. This party? All the people I worked with. 2 good kegs. Lot's of IPA's and cool local beer (4 of my friends are brewers). I'm just worried if I go someone will hand me a Bells 2-Hearted and I'll just cave in.

Hardywood, Devils Backbone, the owner of Dogfish Head comes. But I know if I go I will eventually drink.

ScottFromWI

You just answered your own question. So the next question is do you choose sobriety or drinking?

bigsombrero

You stay home, watch the game, wake up the next day, go to work, and go about your business. Trust me, you'll be thankful you did.

Ncognito13

I've played with the idea of 'not drinking'. Managed 3-4 days, did it for months. Went to the ER for withdrawals. Had seizures.I just end up feeling sorta bored and decide to drink. That's what is making it hard about this party. I sorta committed to going, I do every year.

The owner of Anchor comes. Weyerbacher. It's sorta a who's who of the east coast brewing industry. It's fun, but in the end someone has to take me home or I just pass out somewhere.

Zeepa

If you go and get drunk this time, then the next event that you associate with drinking will be the next time you slip up and it well never end. You have to decide if getting drunk at this party if worth more than your health.

Ncognito13

I just finished reading RR.


Made a lot of sense to me considering I never cared for AA. But I found it sorta simplistic. His idea is 'just quit'. Also I think he bashes AA as some joke for helpless drunks.

Kensho

ScottFromWI said it all. Now it's just your choice - all the "conflicted" and "committed" stuff is just your Alcoholic Voice feeding you the emotional soap opera and the rationalizations to go and get drunk - and have all those bad-**** feelings after.

And, as Zeepa says, it will just feed the same old cycle for the next time - when there will be another opportunity to feel conflicted and committed . . .

This all is so obvious because of your other thread today about getting pretty much fall-down drunk yesterday.

So, the facts of the matter seem pretty clear - and pretty clear to you as well, based on your comments. Now it's up to you; you'll choose as you choose. I can't judge you on that, either way, because I've been there plenty of times - and let the conflict and the comittments choose for me.

All the best, man. be well.