dave777

For the last 12 years I have spent every day with a handful of pills. I've always held a job.. paid my bills, best I could. Now I have to stop.
My daughter is 11 years old she does not know. She doesn't know that daddy is a drug addict. I can't let her find out she loves me very much, she is all that I have lived for. This is very hard for me, for I ask for no pity. But I need to talk or type to someone.

This is my first post. After visiting this web site, well you guys haven't left my mind. So I'm trying as best I can. You know the drugs were supposed to make me forget you know the frying egg commercial. Well I always took more, smoked more, day in / day out. I remember more today than before I started. I have a photographic memory always have. I'm an Electronic Technician, computers, electronics, robotics. I say this because this has always seperated me from everyone else. This is a lonely trade but I love my work.

I'm sorry I'm lost....very very lost. I have many many friends but I can't turn to someone that has no idea what this is about.I don't mean to ramble but the point is, I'm dealing with the memorys / I'm still trying to stop the pain killers / until I wake up tommorow..until the phone rings..until a friend stops by , talking of some crystal or the uncle thats hooked on OC's calls for a little help with his machines.........It never stops never..
I have no one to lean on the only real hugs I get are from my daughter and they are the very best but she is my daughter I cannot cry on her shoulder. I haven't cried on anyones shoulder for more than 12 years now. So in what am I looking at now well in 7 years my daughter will be grown I will always be here for her but when she leaves home well I'll have nothing.. Yes I'm married and all I'll say is I'm their for my daughter. For her well being..House , clothes , shoes you know.

I don't know if i'm making any sense I not really sure how to say and what to say well this is me. I dont mean to ramble I hope that I dont sound foolish

I have to stop taking drugs.
I'm alone in this matter.
I don't know what to do.

When I'm sober it never really stops raining..
But when I'm using well, I still hear the rain hitting the glass.

Dave.

Dan

Welcome.
I'm Dan, an addict in recovery. Only real hugs I get at home are from my children as well. I'm glad you started talking to us. You're no longer alone.
I promise.

splendra

((((((((((((Dave)))))))))))

Welcome!!!! WE are here with you man and we really do care. We know the loneliness and the pain. Talk to us we do want you feel that someone cares. Keep posting!!

tryinagain

Hello and welcome to SR. I am an alcoholic and although our choice of drug may be different, the addiction is the same. I am a father of two wonderful daughters and have spent the last 24 years drunk. I am now sober 10 days going into 11 tomorrow. I too am very successful. I have a medical degree, a BSME and have worked for pretty much every top 100 in the country. I have also owned two businesses. Nice cars, house, clothes, money, etc. Never lost a job from drinking or whatever but I was ruining my health and family life. I could down two cases on a typical Friday night and never even think about it. Through the week I would polish off twenty a night. You are not alone and you came to a wonderful place where there are many that share your burden. Hang in there my friend, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Roy

jenniferaz1980

Hi Dave, Welcome. I know how you feel. I have been there. You are no longer alone.

You might want to check out some support groups in you area like AA. There you will have support and people who are there for you. It will give you yet another place to have support. I dont know about you but I need as much as I can get.

dave777

Thank you all very much. I'm still working on my problem but knowing
that some one is willing to listen really helps.
Thank you.
Dave.