SherylB

Last night I couldn't stop crying because my AH sent our daughter a Christmas card. It hit me hard because the realization that I'll no longer get cards or gifts from him (not that he did that very much anymore) or anything else for that matter really sunk in. I actually started blaming myself again and almost let myself get caught up in some of the crazy things he's been saying. And then my friend sent me this link about Stockholm Syndrome and it mentions traumatic bonding. Lundy's book does too, but somehow reading about this snapped me back to reality. Anyone who's dealt with any kind of abuse at all knows how sick the abuser makes us. So, here's a good link to anyone who wishes to view it: Love and Stockholm Syndrome

MissFixit

hi

i am so sorry for your situation. the holidays always seem to magnify emotions, so going though a break up at this time of year brings up all the extra stuff (my split was right before holidays too several years ago).

after a couple years those emotional triggers don't happen as often and are lessened when they do occur. i wish i could give you a big hug because even though it doesn't seem that way now, he is releasing you to have a better life. not that he is in any way thinking of you, but with him not there you are free to develop yourself to become a happier and more content version of yourself.

hugs

SherylB

Thank you, MissFixit! You're right about that. HE left ME over a month ago and had the nerve to say I should've waited until January to file for divorce! He's the one who left US before the holidays, but somehow I'm now at fault...once again! I'm so sick of being blamed for doing nothing but trying to survive the dysfunction. I need a long vacation to a beautiful island paradise...except I'd probably still be beating myself up in such a lovely place...wondering if I deserved it. UGH!