James18

This is one point of getting sober I'm worried about. I don't have that many people in my life as it is, and most of them are less than supportive when it comes to me giving up booze. At this point I HAVE to steer clear of most of them for a while to even have a fighting chance. I don't want to alienate people, but they seem to be putting me in an impossible position. All of them drink/smoke weed and what not and show no interest in changing their habits. I already feel as a few of these relationships with my friends are one sided and it's always me that gives in or compromises, so at this point I'm ready to throw the towel in on the lot of them!
I've had to get rid of some of my closest friends already due to heroin and crack addiction which I feel bad about, but it was either them or them AND me going down the drain. They wouldn't or couldn't change and I was getting pulled in.

I have some new friends I met, but it's proving hard to sever old ties and start a new life - it's like one step forward and ten back. Sometimes it's just too easy to slip back into the old me and carry on as business as usual and do what people expect.

Nonsensical

We alcohol addicts aren't a very patient lot. I quit drinking, so I want my new life and I want it NOW!

Making new friends will take time. In the meantime, can you get to an animal shelter? Animals are good therapy.

caprimonk279

This is something I have thought about a lot too...all of my friends drink. All of our interactions outside of work involve booze. How do you get past that? Get rid of all of your friends that use?

DG0409

I found that I had to make sobriety my priority. That meant ditching the friends that were drinkng and using drugs (which was pretty much all of my friends). Being clean and sober had to be number 1 for me. Truth be told, the 'friends' I left seem pretty content to keep drinking and smoking weed without me.

I'm pretty content to move forward. Now that I'm clean and sober, I have little desire to hang around with people that do nothing more than drink, smoke dope and watch dumb crap on the internet.

There is so much growth and change going on in my life that it's been good just to focus on me and not really be focused on friends or other people.

Leana

With regard to my daughter this is something I have agonized over. She also had few friends before and now has none (well except the one who only calls when he needs a ride somewhere.) I worry because I can see this being a sobriety killer.

What amazes me is that- there are so many people on this forum, and so many are looking for people to hang out with in a sober lifestyle. Why can't she find just 1? The AA people she meets in group seem to have no desire to do anything outside of meetings. I just don't get it.

Dee74

I lost of drinking buddies - but I gained (and sometimes regained) a lot of friends.

I think sometimes we forget how to make friends - it was easy enough as kids, but we get weirdly insecure as adults....

there are some common sense tips here:
11 Ways to Make Friends as an Adult

D

Thepatman

Give it some time. You might even be surprised that few of them will look at your well being and want to know your secret. As for the other ones, drinking is hardly something to have in common.
You had on the nail when you said one sided relationships.

Anna

I know it's hard to accept the realities of lost friendships, but you are doing the right thing by stepping away from people who drink and use drugs.

Carlotta

Those who are you true friends will be supportive of you whether they are still drinking or not because a real friend has your well being at heart. The others, well they were just drinking buddies not friends.

ScottFromWI

All I did with most if my drinking friends was drink. Now that I don't drink we don't really have much to do or talk about anyway. It's a massive lifestyle change and I hung out with my family and alone for a good stretch. Over time you will realize that most people and most activities do NOT involve drinking anyway. Our alcoholic mind tells is "everyone drinks", but the opposite is actually true.

Thepatman

True Scott, so true. It was part of my problem for a long time. Thinking everyone drinks.

KateL

So true.