HopeIsHere

Hi everybody.

I have an alcoholic in my family. My father is the alcoholic. I'm worrying about that it can be in next generation. I have a brother... I don't know (maybe I'm paranoid), but sometime I see him acting like our father... no limits.. I mean if he on the party he gets drunk as hell.

I don't drink alcohol at all, but what is the % that my baby can be an alcoholic?

Sorry for my english(

MissFixit

hi

i am NOT a doctor, but this is what i heard years ago when i was in alanon and therapy.

alcoholism is a genetic predisposition that some people are born with and others are not. there is not much known about it. addiction might be some form of obsessive compulsive disorder. 10% of the general population are alcoholics (not sure how that was determined but that is the number i have heard for years). there is a 50% chance for the child of an alcoholic to be an alcoholic. I have never understood that figure because it would appear that there would be even more alcoholics if that was true. i also, have no idea who tested this or where these numbers came from other than word of mouth over the years.

maybe someone with more knowledge than i have could give more information.

cgfox

I don't know whether it's true or not, but I can tell you my ex (first time I'm actually calling him that... that's hard to say) had a grandmother and father who were both alcoholics -which tends to go on the 'right'.
I think it's part of a larger behavior, like having an obsessive compulsive disorder as MissFixIt was saying. And just having tendencies to get addicted easily. And childhood too.

Johnston

Your question is hard to answer because even defining what an alcoholic is can be controversial. Your child will likely inherit traits from your father, but whether or not these increase the chances of their abusing alcohol in the future is hard to say. The environment your child grows up in, combined with genes, will likely determine his/her addictive tendencies IMO. There's just too many factors between birth and adulthood to say for sure though.

JustAGirl1971

I've not seen any statistics for the 3rd generation. You are right to be concerned though. Children of alcoholics are roughly 4 times more likely to become alcoholics than children who do not have an alcoholic parent. They're also more likely to marry alcoholics or addicts themselves. They also have developed codependent behaviors as children that can affect their relationships with their partners and children, even if alcohol and drug abuse is not an issue.

Of me & my 3 sisters, none of us are alcoholic but all 4 of us married men with addictions.

Seren

Married to a population geneticist and after having many conversations with him on this very subject, it seems to me that we just don't know yet. I can say that there is not a specific "alcoholism" gene for which you can be tested. There is a mutation at one site that researchers know predisposes some to a higher high for opiates--whch certainly could lead to addiction.

What scares me the most when these topics come up are companies, doctors, people in general who advise people to get tested for THE GENE so that you won't pass it on to your children. I'm here to tell you that to the best knowledge of current genetic science, that's hogwash.

JustAGirl1971

Yes. I agree. I do wish though, that I'd understood the effects that having an alcoholic parent has on a child long-term when I was younger. If I'd known, maybe I would have pursued counseling before becoming a wife and a mother. Probably not though. I guess just like the alcoholic, those of us affected by the alcoholic have to seek change when we're ready. I probably wasn't ready. I do have my kids in counseling for the long-term though, hoping maybe they'll be more self-aware than I was. (& of course am in counseling myself.)

PippiLngstockng

My grandparents, parents, siblings and I - none of us are drinkers at all. It just isn't a topic, no one drinks more than maybe a half glass of wine a few holidays a year and no one cares.

On exah's side, his grandfather, father and all three uncles are abusive and alcoholic. On his mother's side I don't know about the drinking but she drinks cocktails every day with her husband and it's a treasured time for her. That family sees drinking as an important part of life. They always thought I was extremely strange for not caring about it.

Once they all sat me down to have a serious talk about my not-drinking.

Nature or nurture?

ladyscribbler

For real? Like an intervention? Did they list all the ways your non-drinking had affected them? Offer to take you to an inpatient "tox" facility? LOL. That sounds totally nuts.

PippiLngstockng

Yeah. Like, they sat me down, xah's parents, brother and sister-in-law, to have a serious talk. They wanted to know how much (little) I drank and why. They wanted to know if I had something against drinking, or if I had once had a drinking problem and was trying to keep sober. They asked questions about my parents' andd siblings' drinking habits.

They seemed incredulous, like they had never known someone who just didn't think drinking was a big deal.

They weren't happy with my responses. I guess I failed the exam!

soberhawk

From a Darwinian viewpoint most existing genes have at some point also given an advantage otherwise you should think they had gone out of the gene pool, during the 70.000 years we have existed. I think you can inherit tendencies that make you more prone to addiction – but I do also think that same tendencies can be used positively.

We should look for the potential in our children but of course also warn them of dangours.

I do not believe we are determined by our genes as such.

Stung

My mom's dad was an alcoholic and my mom has always been very cognizant of her drinking frequency and consumption because she's fearful of becoming one herself (having first hand knowledge of how destructive it can be) and I grew up with her warning me about how scary alcoholism can be and she was always very open about alcohol with me and about our family history of it.

AH's maternal grandfather drank himself to death and AH just found that out a few months ago. AH's older sister is a low bottom alcoholic and is severely struggling (she can't travel for work anymore because she can't step foot in an airport without getting blackout drunk) and their crazy psycho mom and dad are putting all kinds of pressure on her to "just stop drinking" and of course she can't and its this ridiculous cycle. One of AH's older brothers killed himself drinking and driving 15 years ago. And AH's dad drinks 3 beers every night after work, and makes a habit of bragging about it to any and everyone that will listen. It's actually good for you, like drinking a glass of red wine. Uh huh.

Alcoholism runs in this family but so do bizarre relationships, the older sister has never been married, never had kids, never even had a steady committed boyfriend. Two of the older brothers are married to women who are 15 years older than them. I believe there is a genetic predisposition but I personally believe its much more than genetics. I think AH's parents did some weird **** to their kids. Even weirder...none if this was even remotely an issue until we got pregnant with DD1 3 years ago.

Stung

And they're Irish Catholic, which I also don't think really matters except that they proudly claim that beer and whiskey are part of their heritage. It may be, but being an Irish Catholic with a big dysfunctional family is a stereotype that they're doing an excellent job of portraying.

HopeIsHere

My grandfather was an alcoholic and he is dead because of alcohol intoxication. My father alive (thx God), but he is the alcoholic too. My brother acts like my father. He has a son. He is 4 year old. I'm worrying about my nephew too, because I see the same situation as it was before. I mean he doesn't care that it can affects on his son. It looks like it is a normal life. Wt***k?!

I'm sorry I just want to understand.

Thank you all.

LadyinBC

My whole family is full of alcoholics. My grandfather was one, my mom is one, my dad was one. I'm sure there a few uncles thrown in the mix.

When you grow up it I think you can either not become because you have seen too much or you become because you have seen too much and it is what you learn.

I think many people are predisposition to become one, however, it is not something that happens overnight and it doesn't happen to everyone.

Believe me growing up with alcoholics surrounding me, I swore I would not become one. And I did become one, at some point a switch was turned on and away I went.

HopeIsHere

Hahaha)) I know what you feel. I'm double extremely strange for my friends and family (AND my hubby family) bcoz I don't drink alcohol and I'm vegeterian and have another vision of life. It looks funny sometimes)

JustBarely

Hello HopeIsHere!

You have a very valid question. I have read many books on mental health disorders, such as alcoholism, as I work in the healthcare field. I can tell you very matter-of-factly that there is not a single gene that is passed on that, in itself, predetermines if someone will be an alcoholic. There is a bigger picture involved, as some of these other wonderful members have said, concerning the link between alcoholism and other mental health disorders; namely obsessive compulsive disorder. There is a significant genetic link concerning mental health disorders between parents and their offspring and even in families as a whole.
In my opinion, alcoholism is more of a nature -vs- nurture debate. Think of nature as genetics and think of nurture as learned behaviors. Some believe that one outweighs the other on any given topic, but since there's really not any actual scientific proof of an alcohol gene, I tend to lean to the side of nurture when it come to alcohol.
Take my RAH, for example. Both of his parents are alcoholics. Both of his grandparents on his mother's side are alcoholics. Uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. on his father's side are alcoholics. If you grow up witnessing it day after day, it almost becomes "normal." As you grow older and start experimenting yourself, there is no one to really correct your wrong doing because how can one criticize if they're guilty of it?
There is so many different opinions on the matter out there depending on who you talk too. Like I said, I lean personally on the side of learned behavior, but that's just me. Something to think about anyway!

NWGRITS

I think it's more nurture than nature as to whether or not one with a predisposition actually becomes an alcoholic. My sister and I were raised very differently. She was coddled and the perfect child, so when life turned out to not be all about her, she derailed. I've always noticed her similarities to our alcoholic mother. Me on the other hand... while my childhood sucked growing up in an alcoholic home, my awareness of the drinking and how negatively I looked upon it made me look at life differently. Yes, I've struggled, but my worldview has always been vastly different than that of my sister. Make sense?

And saying beer and whiskey are part of my Irish heritage, so binge drinking is acceptable would be akin to saying potatoes are part of my Irish heritage and therefore binge eating French fries and tater tots and being obese is acceptable. *facepalm*

formyboys

My XRAHs whole family drinks...His mom and dad both heavy drinkers, he grew up sitting in the bar with his younger siblings waiting for his parents to get done and then would have to go home and listen to the fighting..he was the caretaker for both his younger siblings. His parents have been divorced and remarried to each other twice and are still together.
On my side I was raised by a single mother, absolutely no drinking ever in our family, very religious and stricked. I have no idea about my father but from what I hear he was a heavy drinker, I found out in recent years (after knowing nothing about him my whole life) that he had remarried, was sent to prison for attempted murder of that person after a day of heavy drinking. He died before his sentence was up so I assume he died in prison but don't know. He had 6 children with my mother, all of my older sisters (3) are single and have histories of being with abusive men and horrible relationships with their kids...My brothers also single and actually one walked away from his daughter and has no relationship with her.
That being said there is addiction on one side of my sons family and wicked co dependency on the other...I sometimes think he doesn't stand a chance but have done the best I can to break the cycle.

Hammer

Great Start into this.

Even back 75 years ago when they were writing the AA Big Book, they observed and noted a few different "levels," of Alcoholism -- just based on the 100s (or more likely 1000s) they had worked with. At that point they had no genetic tracing details, brain scans, nor any of current tech with points towards about the same thing.

Often #4, below is what is considered for the full blown case when discussing inheritance issues. As noted this is often crossed into Mental Illness issues. Some Mental Illness -- especially Brain Hardware problems and what are called Personality Disorders -- do have Inheritance features, and tend to run in families. These are also sometimes triggered or co-factored with life experiences.

Put all that together . . . and you may likely find it is Nature (inherited) AND Nurture (Life Events). It is often BOTH.

--------------------------------

[And yes, I agree the tone of this chapter is generally insufferable, was written by Bill, as the total dry-drunk run-around cheating douchebag he was, under the guise of a wife, writing what A's would like to hear]

===================

From To Wives -- Chapter 8 -- AA Big Book

Original Manuscript, Chapter 8 -"To Wives"

The problem with which you struggle usually falls within one of four categories:

One: Your husband may be only a heavy drinker. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. He spends too much money for liquor. It slows him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it. Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends. He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business. He would be insulted if called an alcoholic. This world is full of people like him. Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while.

Two: Your husband is showing lack of control. He is unable to stay on the water wagon, even when he wants to. He often gets entirely out of hand when drinking. He admits this is true, but is obsessed with the idea that he will do better. He has begun to try, with or without your cooperation, various means of moderating or staying dry. He is beginning to lose his friends. His business may suffer somewhat. He is worried at times, and is becoming aware that he cannot drink like other people. He sometimes drinks in the morning, and through the day also, to hold his nervousness in check. He is remorseful after serious drinking bouts and tells you he wants to stop. But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time. This person is in danger. He has the earmarks of a real alcoholic. Perhaps he can still tend to business fairly well. He has by no means ruined everything. As we say among ourselves, "He wants to want to stop."

Three: This husband has gone much further than husband number two. Though once like number two, he became worse. His friends have slipped away, his home is a near-wreck, and he cannot hold a position. Maybe the doctor has been called in, and the weary round of sanitariums and hospitals has begun. He admits he cannot drink like other people, but does not see why. He clings to the notion that he will yet find a way to do so. He may have come to the point where he desperately wants to stop but cannot. His case presents additional questions which we shall try to answer for you. You can be quite hopeful of a situation like this.

Four: You may have a husband of whom you completely despair. He has been placed in one institution after another. He is violent, or definitely insane, when drunk. Sometimes he drinks on the way home from the hospital. Perhaps he has had delirium tremens. Doctors shake their heads and advise you to have him committed. Maybe you have already been obliged to put him away. This picture may not be as dark as it looks. Many of our husbands were just as far gone. Yet they got well.