Whyme717

A life that has been filled with therapist ,,suicide attempts...drugs..alcohol abuse..bulimia.since age 13.two years ago seemed to take a turn for the best at age 21. We thought at last..its over..she fell for a good guy...at 19 and at 21 found herself pregnant...they married,and she lived clean during the pregnancy ..and for a bit more of a year after his birth..,but now we are in the worst time we have ever been in....She began drinking and doing coke and other drugs,,,she abandoned her child,,her hubby and was sleeping around..she went to rehab for 3 weeks and was back in 3 days later..then stayed a month in another program she lived and did well,,but now its been less then a month and she is lyeing to me.,,hasnt called her sponcer and I believe drinking and sleeping around...she has so many issues..,she is a slob with her hone..hords..her car looks like a garbage can...her teeth are turning gray from all the bulemia,,,which has to be active since she eats like a horse and weights 110 lds...i have paid for it all rehabs. Cars ...lost phones..weddings baby showers..therapists...she shows no gratitude to me...her husband who is raising her child,,,his parents who is living with...i no that the next thing is she will either be arrested...dead...or homeless..sounds like ive lost hope..li have.She answers adds on craigs list to meet men..,and will loose her apartment the end if january,,,she can earn money when she works,,but she spends it all on food,cigarettes cloths her hair gas. She saves nothing and will bot be able to pay rent...i know i didnt cause this been to many allanon meetings and have done all i can...But how do u get ready to loose your child to the streets,,or jail..or death...my heart is broken...bless all of u and your adult children

chicory

A heartbreaking post, and I am so sorry. I pray that she will find it in herself to want to get well. Perhaps whatever worked for her before will help her again. With all the bad choices she is making, she may feel more and more worthless. Would she go to counseling?

I am so sorry. it is so hard. but people do get well, and pull themselves off the path to destruction. she has to want to. perhaps anything you can do to take care of yourself and support the fathers efforts to raise your grandbaby will help you, too.

hugs,
chicory

Whyme717

Thank you so much..she has been to counseling..is supposed to be attending an iop program at present which was approved for her 3 nights. A week for the next 3 more weeks...but i live in va her in tx. I dont no if she is going or not . But keep praying and u are so right i am supporting dad and baby

Refiner

i have paid for it all rehabs. Cars ...lost phones..weddings baby showers..therapists...she shows no gratitude to me...

i am supporting dad and baby
======================
There have been no reprecussions for her behaviors, it sounds like. Why isn't dad paying for the baby? You can't "fix" her and you are enabling her. IF IF IF she ever wants to get help, it is only her that will help her. And sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom (e.g. being homeless, etc.) to finally get help. I wouldn't be bailing her out anymore (e.g. don't pay her rent).

Whyme717

No u misunderstood. Dad works cares for child. Pays car oayment health and car ins. Elec. rent...so on. I meant moral support. His parents and i do help. Cloths diapers some money to go toward daycare. But he does do his share. I wont enable her....those things listed above were over years when she was healthy. I will not reward her habit.. No matter how scared i am for her..it is just a waste...she inky cares about her needs..know one else's.

Yancy

My daughter had many of the same problems. Eating disorders as a teenager. Then drugs and alcohol. Treatment at 18. Then relapse. Financial problems. Legal problems. Bad relationships. A life of chaos. (all this while my wife had relapsed and my son was facing 10 years in prison on drug charges). She has been clean and sober for two years now. At 26 she is back in college full time, working part time, paying for college herself. She's in a healthy relationship with a fine young man.(wife and son are sober, too.) I didn't do anything magical or brilliant. I was just there and never gave up. I guess it could have gone either way, but the point is there can still be a happy ending. Sometimes all you have is hope.

Whyme717

Yancy...thank u at this holiday time..for being my pie in the sky!!!My Aka Holiday hope! If 2014 could be my year of all I did was be there!!!!!, and not give up yet it all turned around year I would feel like i won the lottery!! God Bless u n yours!

zeppodog

My heart goes out to you, We went thru something very similar with my older sister, it took many years but she turned herself around [with a lot of family help] and went on to raise her 3 kids without her ex [who was also an addict]. She ended up making a good living selling Hondas and doing well for herself and now adult kids. So what I'm saying is don't give up hope. No matter how hopeless it seems. That doesn't mean ruin yourself financially but don't give up hope.

Whyme717

My thanks I so needed to hear this message...no offense but so many just tell me detach..take care of u..,give it up to my higher power..all God advice and I do all that...BUT she is my child and I want her to turn her life around and wont break my bank waiting but will be here to help her when she does seriously make the efforts to get a life thats clean sober and honest.

RhodeIsland

All I can mention is when she decides to get clean and sober in similar shoes I would not just throw $$$ (direct or in the form of a place to live/car/cloths). She won't appreciate what she doesn't earn ---- and it's a lot easier to throw a life away you didn't earn than one you worked damn hard to earn.

Whyme717

No I agree!!!!. I will assist but so wont throw money..Ive learned nothing she doesnt do for herslef means much....

HopeIsHere

Such a sad story.
I'm sorry, maybe I'll be sound cruel, but maybe you choosed wrong rehab centers?
Is there any centers that are healing by "Death"? I know for sure that everybody will change their life after "talk" to the Death.
My father was sober for several month when doctor said: "It looks like a skin cancer". He was sooooooo afraid of it. And was a really good one for those months) But after sober months a part of his nose was healed and alcohol was back.
I'm sorry about your doughter. Don't give up! Just look for another center with another way of treatment, maybe in another country.

God bless you and your family.

Whyme717

She did well and loved her rehab ..it was valley hope and had a real spiritual base.,,thats not the issue..her issue she likes to play hard...so now she is back to where she was before she used,,i believe not doing drugs.,,finishing iop program..but out every night...not seeing her child or hubby she is separated from...this is how it began last summer.,,she hardly speaks to any family..,nor answers texts...she meet friends from ca and iop and i believe has decided her old life and family should be forgotten..sad but her own child is not as important then her haveing fun...

wolfpackfan45

I'm so sorry. There's no pain like watching your child throw his/her life away to addiction. My 22 year old son is a recovering alcoholic and I know that pain all too well. Please know there is always hope and if you're spiritual keep praying. There is hope. You're not alone. I know your pain.