cloudofeeyore
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Plymouth UK
Posts: 2
cloudofeeyore
I am now 9 months sober after 30+ years of slow lane suicide. Many things inspire me to keep on the shiny rail, not least reminding myself whence I came.
The splintered lights are dim.
No music fills the air
In this old fairground still
Crumbling to dust worn memories
Of good times gone.
Unloved
Abandoned
Decayed
Save for hideous limping shadows
Of the lonely and the lost.
Acquaintances of life's misfortune.
Afflicted souls I shared my poison with.
As if the ghost train spilled its guts
In some sickening joke of circumstance.
The washed out clown astride the faded fun house
Wears some rictus grin.
And cackles at my pain.
Some fun?
Oh what irony he points to with his knowing eyes.
Halls of broken mirrors
Warp my mind to death wish dreams.
Ones that only I can make come true.
Rotted wheels of fortune spin
But tell me nought but lies.
It's Haunted House scares nobody here.
They have seen and lived it all before.
Just torn redundant tickets
For ripped out lives.
Waiting for the night's last ride
A death-trap switchback rollercoaster
Down a rusted cracked old track.
To misery and tears.
Stay on the shiny rail my friends
cloudofeeyore
Olde Merry England
The splintered lights are dim.
No music fills the air
In this old fairground still
Crumbling to dust worn memories
Of good times gone.
Unloved
Abandoned
Decayed
Save for hideous limping shadows
Of the lonely and the lost.
Acquaintances of life's misfortune.
Afflicted souls I shared my poison with.
As if the ghost train spilled its guts
In some sickening joke of circumstance.
The washed out clown astride the faded fun house
Wears some rictus grin.
And cackles at my pain.
Some fun?
Oh what irony he points to with his knowing eyes.
Halls of broken mirrors
Warp my mind to death wish dreams.
Ones that only I can make come true.
Rotted wheels of fortune spin
But tell me nought but lies.
It's Haunted House scares nobody here.
They have seen and lived it all before.
Just torn redundant tickets
For ripped out lives.
Waiting for the night's last ride
A death-trap switchback rollercoaster
Down a rusted cracked old track.
To misery and tears.
Stay on the shiny rail my friends
cloudofeeyore
Olde Merry England
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
That's brilliant, cloud 
Very profound and moving. I particularly liked 'torn redundant tickets for ripped out lives' Wonderful!
The talent in you must come from the gorgeous Devonian air I was born in Exeter and am inordinately proud of that (though my talent is clearly far more deep seated than yours!) 
Many congrats on your sobriety, too
Very profound and moving. I particularly liked 'torn redundant tickets for ripped out lives' Wonderful! The talent in you must come from the gorgeous Devonian air
I was born in Exeter and am inordinately proud of that (though my talent is clearly far more deep seated than yours!) Many congrats on your sobriety, too
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by cloudofeeyore 
I am now 9 months sober after 30+ years of slow lane suicide. Many things inspire me to keep on the shiny rail, not least reminding myself whence I came.
The splintered lights are dim.
No music fills the air
In this old fairground still
Crumbling to dust worn memories
Of good times gone.
Unloved
Abandoned
Decayed
Save for hideous limping shadows
Of the lonely and the lost.
Acquaintances of life's misfortune.
Afflicted souls I shared my poison with.
As if the ghost train spilled its guts
In some sickening joke of circumstance.
The washed out clown astride the faded fun house
Wears some rictus grin.
And cackles at my pain.
Some fun?
Oh what irony he points to with his knowing eyes.
Halls of broken mirrors
Warp my mind to death wish dreams.
Ones that only I can make come true.
Rotted wheels of fortune spin
But tell me nought but lies.
It's Haunted House scares nobody here.
They have seen and lived it all before.
Just torn redundant tickets
For ripped out lives.
Waiting for the night's last ride
A death-trap switchback rollercoaster
Down a rusted cracked old track.
To misery and tears.
Stay on the shiny rail my friends
cloudofeeyore
Olde Merry England
The splintered lights are dim.
No music fills the air
In this old fairground still
Crumbling to dust worn memories
Of good times gone.
Unloved
Abandoned
Decayed
Save for hideous limping shadows
Of the lonely and the lost.
Acquaintances of life's misfortune.
Afflicted souls I shared my poison with.
As if the ghost train spilled its guts
In some sickening joke of circumstance.
The washed out clown astride the faded fun house
Wears some rictus grin.
And cackles at my pain.
Some fun?
Oh what irony he points to with his knowing eyes.
Halls of broken mirrors
Warp my mind to death wish dreams.
Ones that only I can make come true.
Rotted wheels of fortune spin
But tell me nought but lies.
It's Haunted House scares nobody here.
They have seen and lived it all before.
Just torn redundant tickets
For ripped out lives.
Waiting for the night's last ride
A death-trap switchback rollercoaster
Down a rusted cracked old track.
To misery and tears.
Stay on the shiny rail my friends
cloudofeeyore
Olde Merry England
to SR! Congrats on nine months sober! 
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hello cloudofeeyore! I'm so glad you're off the rollercoaster. It's wonderful to have you here with us.
I was 30 yrs. gone also. It is glorious to be free. Congratulations on your 9 mos. sober.
I was 30 yrs. gone also. It is glorious to be free. Congratulations on your 9 mos. sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Plymouth UK
Posts: 2
Thank you so much for the kind words. I have learnt throughout this year. It is not about doing the things I should when days are good. But trying to do the things I promised when days are hard. Someone I promised to always be there for had a wobble at the weekend. I found it easier to be there for them for I know I would feel more vulnerable if I weren't. I am safe and they are safe. Happy days. Just shows you never know how strong you are until you try. Stay safe out there and stay on that shiny rail. Remember it only takes a minute to throw away your life.
Love to all from under Eeyore's cloud.
Love to all from under Eeyore's cloud.
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