donnyboy13

since i've stopped drinking i'm in major depression

i'm not craving alcohol but am in a **** situation where im living with a relative and have no access to money

It's just made me realise why i drink. Was having suicidal thought yesterday.

I just need a high - any high. i get excited about a cup of coffee. If i could access drugs i would.

I've been writing this down for the doctor who im seeing.

Not sure if i actually am alcoholic. Can't imagine life never partying again
this sucks

KateL

It's a good idea writing stuff down. I hope you have luck with the doctor. It will get better x

Thepatman

You have to basically reprogram your addictive brain. That takes time and patience.
You can't see a happy life sober if you never tried it.

Best of luck.

Anna

I'm glad you're talking to your dr about this depression.

And, of course you can party again, just without alcohol.

malcolmsloan

Sorry that you are feeling so low, donnyboy13. I relate to being worried about "life without partying." I can actually get myself into a state of almost panic-like anxiety. I ask myself, is it really ending "partying," or just redefining what I think of as partying and enjoying myself. Fun for me meant booze for so long that I could not see other possibilities-but they are out there. Just a thought. I hope you start feeling better.

IOAA2

"Not sure if i actually am alcoholic. Can't imagine life never partying again
this sucks."

Only you can make this determination. A sign for me was thinking a lot about drinking and escaping my feelings on a daily basis by drinking.
The big thing is to be honest with ourselves about our drinking and how important it is in our life.
AA suggests that if we are unsure, try not drinking for 30-60 days any sort of alcohol and see how it goes. If we can do it easily perhaps there is no problem and it's an emotional situation due to something else.

BE WELL

SparklingSeven

If you are depressed you should not be making any decisions. Certainly not as HUGE as suicide or going back on drink or drugs.

You need to get the depression sorted. Chances are your outlook and motivations would be a lot different if you were well. I think this is imperative. Anything that makes this depression worse, or perpetuates it is a big no-no!

I hope the doctor helps you.

least

I hope your doctor can help you. It sounds like depression to me. I agree that you shouldn't be making any huge decisions while you are depressed. And life goes on without alcohol, and it goes much better too.

Dee74

I'm glad you'll be seeing your Dr Donny.
I thought my life was over when I got sober - but it really was just beginning.

I re-discovered a me I'd thought was gone for good

D

donnyboy13

thanks for the messages.
Feeling a bit better today at the mo - but getting real bad mood swings.
im on anti depressents and anti-pyschotics. I am going to ask the doc I wanna come off the anti-pyschotic becasue its making me tired and I know it's not helping.

YoungAndClean

The worst place to be is where the only thing that will make me feel better about my alcohol/drug problem is alcohol/drugs. I can totally relate to needing a HIGH, it's a fiendish evil sort of possession that has me on my hands and knees surfing the carpet looking for dropped pieces of drugs or pills. I'm getting the impression that your young, because I postponed getting sober myself until 28 y/o because I didn't want the party to be over. It wasn't until the party turned into a party of one, broke, tired, utterly defeated and chained to addiction. I had to get HIGH or DRINK, there was no realistic alternative for me. No happy one anyways. Sobriety sucks right? At least in using you get some satisfaction and oblivion. That was my line of thinking. Donny I was wrong, and I have seen that taking a step of faith and staying sober one day at a time no matter how you do it, becomes better then using/drinking.

You give up a few things (partying, drugs, drinking, pubs, oblivion) and get many things (a job, increased self-confidence, a feeling of security, hope, no hangovers, better finance, independence, self-respect from myself and others). Is it always as FUN? No, sometimes it's not, but sometimes IT IS. It's a better way to live if your an alcoholic/addict like I am. YES, beyond measure. I have had a lot of fun in sobriety: wakeboarding, going to Six Flags Magic Mountain, going to sober AA halloween parties, having a job, playing golf, sticking with a gym/running routine, learning west coast swing dancing, etc. The best thing for me has been going to AA/NA and meeting young SOBER people to hang out with, they will show you a new way to live. And if you just keep doing the next right indicated action and don't use or drink no matter what. You will see that there is a way out of the mental obsession if your willing/desperate enough to do the work. Good luck to you.