A year after moving out
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 109
A year after moving out
Tonight I was dreading seeing my exAH at the kids' fundraiser at their school, however, I'm surprised at how well it went.
He had showered and looked fairly presentable. He was only a little bit disoriented--the mom selling the raffle tickets told me to direct my hubby her way because he was confused when he picked up the tickets (I resisted the urge to tell, oh no honey, he's just drunk. I did not resist the urge to tell her we are divorced).
These are the occasions I prefer to avoid, but I have to say I wasn't very anxious this time. I am definitely healing, and truly confident. I really didn't feel too embarrassed by his appearance, I was happy to see the children embrace him and run between us freely. We have lived apart for a little over a year now and what a difference from this time last year.
He is becoming more hostile towards me in private (I am taking steps to protect myself), but in public he is OK. I can take it one day a time. A few weeks ago, we made plans for me and some friends to come pick up my piano. He left it on his front steps all banged up, with the music stand torn off and a note that said F--- you. I was shaken up that day, but still, today I wasn't afraid. I was able to look him in the eye with some measure of compassion.
What a difference a year of going NC (as much as possible with 3 kids) can make. Everyone's life is touched by chaos, disease, or disappointment of some sort. I may have an oddball ex who is still on a downward spiral of addiction, but my kids are vivacious, respectful, excelling in school. I have made many friends since moving here 3 years ago. And since leaving my xAH, I have rekindled many of my old friendships. And with your help, SR, I have managed to restore, and now protect, my soul from this awful disease. Thanks again, everyone. I don't often post, but I do read quite a bit and gain so much from every thread.
He had showered and looked fairly presentable. He was only a little bit disoriented--the mom selling the raffle tickets told me to direct my hubby her way because he was confused when he picked up the tickets (I resisted the urge to tell, oh no honey, he's just drunk. I did not resist the urge to tell her we are divorced).
These are the occasions I prefer to avoid, but I have to say I wasn't very anxious this time. I am definitely healing, and truly confident. I really didn't feel too embarrassed by his appearance, I was happy to see the children embrace him and run between us freely. We have lived apart for a little over a year now and what a difference from this time last year.
He is becoming more hostile towards me in private (I am taking steps to protect myself), but in public he is OK. I can take it one day a time. A few weeks ago, we made plans for me and some friends to come pick up my piano. He left it on his front steps all banged up, with the music stand torn off and a note that said F--- you. I was shaken up that day, but still, today I wasn't afraid. I was able to look him in the eye with some measure of compassion.
What a difference a year of going NC (as much as possible with 3 kids) can make. Everyone's life is touched by chaos, disease, or disappointment of some sort. I may have an oddball ex who is still on a downward spiral of addiction, but my kids are vivacious, respectful, excelling in school. I have made many friends since moving here 3 years ago. And since leaving my xAH, I have rekindled many of my old friendships. And with your help, SR, I have managed to restore, and now protect, my soul from this awful disease. Thanks again, everyone. I don't often post, but I do read quite a bit and gain so much from every thread.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
This is an inspiring story BtheChange;
Thank you for sharing it. It sounds like you and your children are so much happier. For women who are thinking of leaving, seeing the positive changes that can happen will make it so much easier.
Good wishes to you and your kids. Hope your X also finds healing someday.
Thank you for sharing it. It sounds like you and your children are so much happier. For women who are thinking of leaving, seeing the positive changes that can happen will make it so much easier.
Good wishes to you and your kids. Hope your X also finds healing someday.
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