FreshStart2Day

Depression sounds like fear
He ain't shut up in years
I ain't shaved in weeks
My outlook is bleak
Haven't ate I'm days
So my clothes fit baggy
Been in a haze
Nowhere near happy
Gotta control this hunger
Yet I'm starving
So I get angry
& lose everything
Lost in my mind
Nowhere to run...
Nowhere to run
Yet I'm still determined
I'm not a preacher
And this is no sermon
Damn I'm hurting
Hoping it's almost over
With death I'm flirting
Trying to get sober...

So I write to fill the void. Scratched this up as I was typing.

MemphisBlues

Well, if you have diagnosed depression and are actively using or drinking, I've been in your boat.

If you are sober and still have depression, move over, we can row together.

Depression and alcoholism and drug addiction go hand in hand. The solution to my mental illness was using! It got me to the one emotion I could handle -- complete, unadulterated, overriding apathy.

I've been sober for three years now and struggle mightily with depression. Crippling, in fact. The only suggestion I can offer you is to find immediate help in getting sober, and suffer through the pit of despair that will follow, and find quality mental health care.

You got any options?

FreshStart2Day

Yeah been diagnosed and am currently 2 days sober. I agree that the solution was using. Congrats on 3 years. Really amazing. Hope I can get there.know I can get there. Still no small feat. As far as mental health care, I've been limited in with the exception of being diagnosed with this issue.

Thepatman

There is a good chance that your depression will lift. In my case Alchool was causing the depression. Alchool is brutal for that.

Just hang in there and get help if sobriety dosent help. But do remember you experience grief. After all you lost that "friend" now that you are sober. But the friendship was toxic.

FreshStart2Day

I hear you... But my using was more of a solution to the depression. The depression was there before the substances. The substances made the depression ok to deal with. So now being sober without the substances it's the scary thought of what now? Will the depression take over like it's known to do.? Or maybe just maybe he will leave me alone... I don't really know. But I do know that I am currently sober and I will stay sober. I'm on day 2 of withdrawals off opiates so of course it could just be me talking out of my ass...

jbsoriginality

That was pretty good, if you added some music and recorded it you could possibly be a hit on Youtube.

FreshStart2Day

Lol thanks. I appreciate the compliment.

MemphisBlues

How did I do it? I hit a bottom and could dig no further so only up was an option.

I went to AA.

SnoozyQ

Freshstart2day fantastic to put your words down so eloquently :-) . Loved the read .

Why don't you come visit our limerick page , we would love to have you on board

SnoozyQ

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-4-a.html

Michelangelo

You need mental health care for your depression, usually it lifts in several weeks.

FreshStart2Day

I'm in that boat right now Memphis. Tryna dig myself out. Day 2 of withdrawal almost over.
Snoozy, I'd love to check it out. How do in get there? Link? Thank you for your kind words as well

FreshStart2Day

I'm a little late. Lol. Just saw the link. Thanks. And I agree Michael Angelo. Just haven't had the means for treatment most of my life. I find it hard to believe it would lift in weeks tho but it's possible. I have also posted a couple other poems on here if anybody cares for a read. Monkey off my back and the write again one.

ZeldaFan

I thought the exact same thing when I read it!

FreshStart2Day

Thanks Zelda. Majoras mask was my all time fave.

Michelangelo

May be you can find a free/low cost clinic in your área? I think it is important to treat that depression. Perhaps it will require some more time, but depression is treatable.

SnoozyQ

Ooooh fresh ...this could be my post , my friend ..seriously.
My using was self medicating due to depression. When I gave up alcohol 4 months ago , I couldn't understand why I was still so sad , listless etc ...nothing improved

I let this go on for about 3 months until a dear Mod here who i class as a friend now DEE , ( thanks D ) questioned if my exhaustion was depression .

The penny dropped ....i didn't even consider it , yet I have had this same depression alcohol prob for 20 years.

I guarantee you , when you fix your depression , your life will turn around . Without it , you will follow that slippery slope to self medicate.


Go " yesterday " to see your doc .

My life has dramatically improved in every single way due to the advice from someone lovely here who really cares.

I hope we can do the same for you xx

FreshStart2Day

After reading your post a light bulb lit up in my head. Idk why or why now but you guys are right. If I don't deal with this thing it will probably keep finding ways to destroy me. I shall force myself to seek medical attention on this at the appropriate time. Thanks. I appreciate all the advice.

ZeldaFan

What just transpired here is why I love this place so much

SnoozyQ

You are very welcome .

I figured well its gonna be expensive ( the medication ) but you know what, i didn't even consider that when I bought my booze . So the money you save on booze will pay for your meds.

Unless you are right mentally , nothing will be right in your life . I just wish i had done it sooner.

You sound pretty smart Fresh , you know what's going on with you . Good luck and stay close xx