Brian316

Hey everyone. After years of drinking and reaching the pinnacle of unmanageability, I am going to be left alone in a house out in the country with no car. It has been recommended to me by my sponsor and others I consider moving into a halfway house. I'd have food, in house AA meetings and could walk to work. Has anyone here ever lived in a halfway house? Is it something you would recommend for a person in recovery attempting to rebuild their life?

Thepatman

Never did personally, but if I could have that I would give it a go, without a second tought.

Anna

If you think it would be a good environment for you in which to continue your recovery and to grow, then go for it.

Try18

I have, and it was the longest i stayed sober. I would recommend it to anyone. It is daunting but the support you get is brilliant.

Leana

Our daughter is in one now. It is definitely an adjustment; specifically for an adult used to living on their own, who is now forced to live under rules. Every house has its own rules, some stricter, some more lax. Check out all the rules before signing the contract.
In my daughter's house for example- residents are only allowed 1 night away every 30 days, that includes holidays Her house has required chores, curfews, mandatory nightly AA meetings. A house we checked out but rejected was very strict; free time was regulated, residents were required to be employed full time within 2 weeks of entering, required to do 20 hours of community services, daily AA meetings, and weekly drug testing, to name just a few.

Has it been good for her? I don't know? She's sober. But is it because of the house? Again, I don't know.

PaperDolls

No experience with a half-way house but I did live in an oxford house. One of the best things I did for my recovery.

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PaperDolls

And yes, the houses have some rules but they are there for a reason. Most of us need structure and to learn to be responsible and accountable for our actions.

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Brian316

Thank you for the input all. PaperDolls, what is an Oxford house? Leana, thank you for your experience, I know my there are rules, curfews, random drug tests and so forth which would be ok with me, but the whole only getting to go home once every month seems a little rough. I guess being that I am not court ordered (YET) I am not sure how some of these rules may apply. Try18 what you said is encouraging. It sounds like they do help people, but they also sound like some could be tough.

Try18

The structure and routine were great for my recover since taking responsibility for anything was an alien concept to me. sadly i didn't maintain it once i moved into my own place and have had a series of relapses. Im glad i saw this post though as it has made me consider how little structure i have or seek support now in comparison to then. made me think of some things i can change. good luck if you do go, it is beneficial especially if you enjoy fellowship. i say go for it

PaperDolls

Check out http://www.oxfordhouse.org.

And oxford house is a Self Run, Self Supported, Addiction Recovery House.

I'm happy to answer any questions you have. Many may be answered by checking out the website. You can even do a search in your area of houses around you.

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bigsombrero

Hello Brian.

I admire this question and think you should look into it. I think it would be a good step. You listed off some very positive things. I know it sounds scary, but it's not, and you'll feel like a new man - which is exactly what you're looking to be. I lived in a dorm-style center for about a month, got meals, went to some meetings, and played board games at night with the other guys. It was real no-nonsense, but it was clean living and very basic. Sometimes, basic is exactly what we need. A bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, a good location and a place you can work on recovery. You won't be there forever, but it will be good for you now and you'll be able to look back on it with a sense of pride as you move on through recovery.

Good luck, regardless.

Brian316

Thanks for all the input everyone. I am definitely considering it. I do have some personal things to consider first, house, pets, and a child. In everyone's experience do many of these places require a time commitment?

Quinne

Hey Brian316!

I've been living in supported accommodation for over a year (unsure if it's just semantics) and am blessed to be in one of the few places that has no time limit-one of my housemates has been there for over 5 years.

We have no 12-step requirement, although that is my program of choice/living. It can be as easy or as difficult as *I* make it, insomuch as I get can get impatient with other people's lack of "social skills", or I can be of service and/or learn to set boundaries. There's been a lot of conflict where I am and 6 housemates in the time i've been there, but in many ways it's not too different to a "regular" sharehouse. I can grow if I choose to We have a weekly assigned chores, house meetings and community meetings every 6 weeks. Two support workers are in the head office during business hours, but *we* need to contact *them* if we want to see them, unless we're concerned about a housemate. Good luck!

PaperDolls

An Oxford House has no time commitment and they won't kick you out because they need the bed either. Some houses even allow children, it's more common for a women's home to but many men's homes are filling that need as well.

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