What's a good gift for the unrepentant alcoholic in your life?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 232
What's a good gift for the unrepentant alcoholic in your life?
Being that its getting close to be THAT time of the season again(the store decor is already up and to bring in that holiday cheer), I'm not so sure what to give that special person in my life as a proper gift this year(although I have a few ideas...).
Already gave her inspirational books(they work great as coasters, or just filling that annoying empty spot in the book case), cards/letters expressing my concerns about her not getting help with her alcoholism and what its doing to me and the kids(those make AWESOME napkins, by the way. Next time I'll just scribble something on a paper towel. Much more absorbent!), and some token gifts for her to open so my children didn't think Santa forgot about her on Christmas.
So I'm opening the floor to all ideas: serious, sarcastic, you name it.
And away we go...
Already gave her inspirational books(they work great as coasters, or just filling that annoying empty spot in the book case), cards/letters expressing my concerns about her not getting help with her alcoholism and what its doing to me and the kids(those make AWESOME napkins, by the way. Next time I'll just scribble something on a paper towel. Much more absorbent!), and some token gifts for her to open so my children didn't think Santa forgot about her on Christmas.
So I'm opening the floor to all ideas: serious, sarcastic, you name it.
And away we go...
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
How about an Ultimatum. Get help or we are out.
Spare your children the next 10 years of living with an alcoholic.
This is coming from a recovering alcoholic who wished her husband and son had left her so her son wouldn't have all these sad memories of a drunk Mom at Christmas and about 359 other days out of the year.. Perhaps I would have gotten help sooner.
Spare your children the next 10 years of living with an alcoholic.
This is coming from a recovering alcoholic who wished her husband and son had left her so her son wouldn't have all these sad memories of a drunk Mom at Christmas and about 359 other days out of the year.. Perhaps I would have gotten help sooner.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 1,303
I can feel the bitterness in your post Spinner...I know this feeling so well. This will be my first Xmas without my AH. It will be me, the kids and my family and I'm not sure how I will cope but I know I won't be walking on eggshells. We won't be dealing with Jekyll and Hyde and we won't be witnessing him drinking ridiculous quantities of alcohol just because its Xmas. Hoping you find the happiest ways of coping with the next few months...
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
How about instead, we make it: 'what's a good gift for you, who has lived with an unrepentant alcoholic in your life'?
Bulbs to plant this fall
A new outfit
Gym membership
A cat
A piano
Theater tickets
I bought stbxah a christmas gift last year. The kids and I met him for Christmas dinner. He had no gifts with him. The younger children brought him a small pile of things and something from my mother. His face was all bloated. He barely looked at the gifts, even the ones the children were so proud of.
He was ready to leave us after an hour. No time for dessert. Quick good-bye and that was that.
This year I won't spare him a thought. Not from meanness. Just to keep my little candle flame from being blown out.
Bulbs to plant this fall
A new outfit
Gym membership
A cat
A piano
Theater tickets
I bought stbxah a christmas gift last year. The kids and I met him for Christmas dinner. He had no gifts with him. The younger children brought him a small pile of things and something from my mother. His face was all bloated. He barely looked at the gifts, even the ones the children were so proud of.
He was ready to leave us after an hour. No time for dessert. Quick good-bye and that was that.
This year I won't spare him a thought. Not from meanness. Just to keep my little candle flame from being blown out.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
I like both lists - gifts for the A's - because I think it's ok to laugh at our situation with them sometimes...and gifts for us, because that's a healthy train of thought.
Hmm - I would like an elliptical machine, and a handy helpful hand swapping the motor on my motorcycle. OH and a DVR machine.
Hmm - I would like an elliptical machine, and a handy helpful hand swapping the motor on my motorcycle. OH and a DVR machine.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I decided a few Christmas seasons ago to stop the gift giving. Instead, I asked my family to adopt a family who wouldn't have a Christmas. We used the money we would have spent on family gifts and bought for someone through a local agency who needed it. That saved me from buying for the A, and I didn't have to worry about not getting what I wanted.
Maybe you decide to go to the Mall together and pick Christmas Angels from the tree. Let your kids pick their own, and let them shop for that needy child. It's a great way to save the Christmas spirit, and not get tied up with the A. Then just buy her a scarf from Santa and be DONE.
Maybe you decide to go to the Mall together and pick Christmas Angels from the tree. Let your kids pick their own, and let them shop for that needy child. It's a great way to save the Christmas spirit, and not get tied up with the A. Then just buy her a scarf from Santa and be DONE.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 232
A lot of good responses. Thoughtful. Love the bib, too!
Yes, I'm bitter. But that's what I get for expecting her to come around, knowing she's full of lies and deceit.
Actually, I was thinking of getting her a handheld mirror with a note attached to outside of the wrapping, saying something like 'inside this box is what's responsible for your addiction, the fracturing of this family, and the only thing that can do anything about it'.
That's pretty much what sums it up.
Yes, I'm bitter. But that's what I get for expecting her to come around, knowing she's full of lies and deceit.
Actually, I was thinking of getting her a handheld mirror with a note attached to outside of the wrapping, saying something like 'inside this box is what's responsible for your addiction, the fracturing of this family, and the only thing that can do anything about it'.
That's pretty much what sums it up.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
another good one would be an electronic organizer which would say: electrical bill is due. please pay bills before you get drunk....hm I like that. Maybe someone could make a codie app or something.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 232
Love the picture tribute idea.
'All those wonderful times staring into your glazed eyes captured on film...'
Or maybe a framed picture of a bottle of rum for the bedside table.
She's pretty much replaced us anyway.
'All those wonderful times staring into your glazed eyes captured on film...'
Or maybe a framed picture of a bottle of rum for the bedside table.
She's pretty much replaced us anyway.
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