Getting over "the shame"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 91
Getting over "the shame"
Last weekend was the last time I drank, and I drank A LOT. and during that time I decided to dig into some past parenting issues I experienced with my ex husband via text. So by the time he skyped with my son, I BARELY REMEMBER it... and am to this day (this was Sunday) ashamed around my ex husband. I NEVER drink too much when my son is around to witness it, but the one time I did... my ex husband witnessed it too... and now I feel like a terrible person and mother.
How do I shake this? Will I ever be able to shake that terrible mom image in my own mind?
Funny enough, today after my killer workout I was daydreaming about a nice cold beer. and then I got the reminder that what happens after that nice cold beer
I am feeling so vulnerable still
How do I shake this? Will I ever be able to shake that terrible mom image in my own mind?
Funny enough, today after my killer workout I was daydreaming about a nice cold beer. and then I got the reminder that what happens after that nice cold beer
I am feeling so vulnerable still
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,590
Hi uncharted 
believe me the best cure for that kind of shame is make sure it never happens again
The more time you live life the way you know you deserve to and the more you become the person you want to be, the less those 'off' moments will matter - both to you and your loved ones.
It's early days - it's normal to still be beating yourself up a little and to feel vulnerable
what are you doing for your recovery, besides SR?
D
believe me the best cure for that kind of shame is make sure it never happens again
The more time you live life the way you know you deserve to and the more you become the person you want to be, the less those 'off' moments will matter - both to you and your loved ones.
It's early days - it's normal to still be beating yourself up a little and to feel vulnerable
what are you doing for your recovery, besides SR?
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 138
Been there, done that. Time definitely helps. Oh, the number of times my 2 beautiful, innocent girls saw me drunk??? Too many to count. The good thing is with time the guilt, shame, and embarrassment start to fade. I also believe those memories have diminished with time for my girls. We have lots of happy memories now to replace the bad ones. They were 12 and 9 when I stopped drinking. If you truly commit to recovery things will improve with time. Good luck!
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Uncharted, I think Dee is right, making sure it never happens again is the best amends you can make. Are you up for apologising to your EX and son (if he's old enough). I speak from experience (a sister's) that getting drunk in front of your children can have the worst consequences for your relationship. Alcoholism is progressive, and what might have been unthinkable (drinking in front of your son) becomes commonplace.
Have you decided never to drink again? And do you have a plan to support yourself as you go?
Have you decided never to drink again? And do you have a plan to support yourself as you go?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 91
I have decided to quit drinking and have admitted my lack of control over alcohol to myself. I have also apologized to my ex. But to help me I have also admitted my lack of control to my significant other who will help me at any end to support my not drinking. He knows I have willpower over the not having the first sip but all sort of willpower disappears after the first sip. He knows my shame, he has wiped my tears this week. He loves me and that makes me incredibly lucky.
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