going to a new meeting tonight.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
going to a new meeting tonight.
I like a lot of what alanon has to offer, but I haven't really found a meeting that's clicked for me yet. I'm hoping the one I'm going to tonight does.
Things had been going well but Sunday my BF was at his art studio and didn't come home until 5:30 am. He had been drinking.
I don't see an end in sight to this. I know I have to end this relationship and I will soon. It is just so painful.
Things had been going well but Sunday my BF was at his art studio and didn't come home until 5:30 am. He had been drinking.
I don't see an end in sight to this. I know I have to end this relationship and I will soon. It is just so painful.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Good for you for continuing with Alanon.
Have you been able to pick up some Alanon reading material? Sometimes that can help w/understanding what the group is talking about; it did for me, at least.
Have you been able to pick up some Alanon reading material? Sometimes that can help w/understanding what the group is talking about; it did for me, at least.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
I have. It's not that I don't understand it. Some of the steps are very helpful; some just do not resonate with me. The same was true of AA for me. It's okay, as they say I take what I need and leave the rest.
I am just so discouraged and I feel like I could read self-help and buddhist books till the cows come home and still not give a sh*t about any of it. I have worked really hard on myself for years and years and I know I've changed for the better, so self-improvement and introspection are nothing new to me. I am just pissed at myself, honestly, for getting into a dysfunctional relationship. I should have seen the warning signs.
I am just so discouraged and I feel like I could read self-help and buddhist books till the cows come home and still not give a sh*t about any of it. I have worked really hard on myself for years and years and I know I've changed for the better, so self-improvement and introspection are nothing new to me. I am just pissed at myself, honestly, for getting into a dysfunctional relationship. I should have seen the warning signs.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Well, damn you all to hell -- you are human.
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To me the meetings are . . . (all about me, right? -- works best that way) . . . . about what they claim they are -- sort of the manifestation of God's stuff here on Planet Dumb aka Earth. That is why I call them my Alananny Angels. But some meetings and groups are pretty wacky and weird -- even to me with my odd tastes. And 1/3 of the Angels are "fallen," so I do not expect much better of Alanon.
But a roomful of 2/3 "Good Angels" -- Especially with some solid Long Timers -- THAT is better than any Therapy Session I Could Buy for any Amount of Money.
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To me the meetings are . . . (all about me, right? -- works best that way) . . . . about what they claim they are -- sort of the manifestation of God's stuff here on Planet Dumb aka Earth. That is why I call them my Alananny Angels. But some meetings and groups are pretty wacky and weird -- even to me with my odd tastes. And 1/3 of the Angels are "fallen," so I do not expect much better of Alanon.
But a roomful of 2/3 "Good Angels" -- Especially with some solid Long Timers -- THAT is better than any Therapy Session I Could Buy for any Amount of Money.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 478
I've been a self help junkie for a long time. So I completely resonate with your last statement. I have no trouble looking in the mirror at my own faults. I think that's why it's so hard for me to be with someone who completely lacks that ability. I mean he SAYS.. somethings about self reflection but it usually comes out sounding like a load of whooie.
I really like my Al-anon group, but I too have been thinking about branching out and finding another meeting where I could switch it up sometimes. Yesterday I went to my meeting even though I felt like I didn't really need to go. I thought to myself it's like having an ear infection.. if you stop taking the medicine when you feel better, the infection really isn't gone and it will just re-occur. So I went anyway..
Hope you find one that works well for you.
I really like my Al-anon group, but I too have been thinking about branching out and finding another meeting where I could switch it up sometimes. Yesterday I went to my meeting even though I felt like I didn't really need to go. I thought to myself it's like having an ear infection.. if you stop taking the medicine when you feel better, the infection really isn't gone and it will just re-occur. So I went anyway..
Hope you find one that works well for you.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
In a given week I may hit 5 different locations.
I guess 6 last week. But that extra one was "off the radar" -- not on the Conference List -- and was pretty weird, mho.
But have to tell anyone tracking along -- the Big Hand Hug Chant at the End of the Meeting is True -- It Works IF You Work It.
The "IF" and "Work" parts . . . are up to YOU.
I guess 6 last week. But that extra one was "off the radar" -- not on the Conference List -- and was pretty weird, mho.
But have to tell anyone tracking along -- the Big Hand Hug Chant at the End of the Meeting is True -- It Works IF You Work It.
The "IF" and "Work" parts . . . are up to YOU.
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