jjj111

Well, my sister is a few weeks out of detox, and I am still getting a lot long e-mails. She seems like she is a little manic, making big purchases and big life decisions. Last week she wrote me how much she is missing an old flame, this week she has made a major commitment to her child's father. I am finding it hard to keep up with this. She came into money recently and is being very careless with it. She sent me links to some major purchases she is considering for herself, and I want to say "put the money in an account for your child," but I am trying so hard not to get roped into being her life supervisor! I don't even know how to respond. Maybe I need to not return her e-mails for a while. I feel like I am always walking on eggshells with her. A therapist I was seeing a while ago suggested maybe I should only answer her e-mails infrequently. Maybe she was right.

Eve13

Isn't impulsive spending an addiction too? I guess I would approach it the same way you are approaching her other DOC.

jjj111

Thanks, Eve! That's a good point. I think that she is using romantic thrills and spending thrills as a way to take the place of her DOC. Before she decided to go to detox, I was keeping my distance from her, but when she went to I wanted to be supportive. But I feel like now she is what people sometimes call a "dry drunk." She still has some of the same patterns in her personality as when she was using her DOC.

LoveMeNow

Is she working any kind of recovery program or seeing a therapist??

jjj111

She is seeing a therapist. She told me before she left for detox that she would start going to NA again, but she hasn't mentioned it since she got back. The program she went to was just a few days of detox. It seems like she needs more support in such early recovery from a decade plus habit! And I am really not up for being her recovery coach. :/ I guess I'm having a hard time finding my boundary. I don't quite feel like no contact is necessary, but I'm not sure how to define the contact I am up for having.