A Youngn' New to Recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 2
A Youngn' New to Recovery
Hey everybody. I just signed up and decided to post because I've reached a small milestone in my recovery and I've been having some weird little things happen and I just want to hear anyone's thoughts, input, or experiences.
Ill start by giving you the lowdown. Im only 18, and I've been addicted to opioid painkillers for the last 5 years of my life. I know what your thinking. How could I be an addict of five years if I'm only 18? Well if you were familiar with the area that I l live in (the heart of Appalachia), then that statement wouldn't seem so far fetched to you. Opiate addiction is an epidemic here. I have friends who were snorting oxy at age 11. One of my best friends went to a ninety day rehab for heroin addiction last year just after his 17th birthday.
Anyway, back to my story. I am addicted to oxymorphone and oxycodone. I would take 40-60 mg opana a day, or 120-180 mg oxycodone. However, I have been 100% clean for around two weeks now. The milestone I spoke of earlier is the fact that all my withdrawal symptoms have left me as of 3 days ago, and now that I have no trace of opiates in my system I have noticed odd things happening with my body.
The first thing I noticed is that I will feel little 10 minute windows of utter happiness, but just as I begin really appreciate how good I'm feeling, I sink back into utter boredom and depression. The other thing I have noticed, and this is very, VERY odd, but I cry like a freakin baby when I hear a good song on the radio. I have a great passion for music and I always loved to nod out while listening to my favorite albums when I was using. But now, when I hear a great song, I get crazy goosebumps and I start to cry like an idiot. Its not a sad cry, I feel as though I'm crying at the sheer beauty of a good song. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's what I'm feeling right now.
So, I guess my question is, Has anyone experienced anything similar? Have any of you noticed the weird things that our brains do once we're clean and we start to feel again?
Ill start by giving you the lowdown. Im only 18, and I've been addicted to opioid painkillers for the last 5 years of my life. I know what your thinking. How could I be an addict of five years if I'm only 18? Well if you were familiar with the area that I l live in (the heart of Appalachia), then that statement wouldn't seem so far fetched to you. Opiate addiction is an epidemic here. I have friends who were snorting oxy at age 11. One of my best friends went to a ninety day rehab for heroin addiction last year just after his 17th birthday.
Anyway, back to my story. I am addicted to oxymorphone and oxycodone. I would take 40-60 mg opana a day, or 120-180 mg oxycodone. However, I have been 100% clean for around two weeks now. The milestone I spoke of earlier is the fact that all my withdrawal symptoms have left me as of 3 days ago, and now that I have no trace of opiates in my system I have noticed odd things happening with my body.
The first thing I noticed is that I will feel little 10 minute windows of utter happiness, but just as I begin really appreciate how good I'm feeling, I sink back into utter boredom and depression. The other thing I have noticed, and this is very, VERY odd, but I cry like a freakin baby when I hear a good song on the radio. I have a great passion for music and I always loved to nod out while listening to my favorite albums when I was using. But now, when I hear a great song, I get crazy goosebumps and I start to cry like an idiot. Its not a sad cry, I feel as though I'm crying at the sheer beauty of a good song. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's what I'm feeling right now.
So, I guess my question is, Has anyone experienced anything similar? Have any of you noticed the weird things that our brains do once we're clean and we start to feel again?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 66
Hi AstroZombie 
I don't have much experience with painkillers. I was on morphine for a few months because of a surgery, and knew I was in ****. Luckily (or really not so luckily) I was more into drinking than drugs and when I couldn't get any more I stopped. Just drank instead.
Anyway, I'm now 3 months sober. I'm also a youngin (20!) so I know what you mean. People often question the fact that I could be an alcoholic. How much could I have really drank to even know that I have an issue? Like you, I've been doing it since I was very young.
I'm happy that you've come looking for help. Addiction is a serious thing. I really suggest going to an NA and meeting people who feel the same way you do, who can answer your questions and relate to you. AA really helped me and I actually go to some NA meetings here. I don't have much experience with what you're describing though, so hopefully someone else can post and help answer your questions.
Welcome to SR and I wish you the best
I don't have much experience with painkillers. I was on morphine for a few months because of a surgery, and knew I was in ****. Luckily (or really not so luckily) I was more into drinking than drugs and when I couldn't get any more I stopped. Just drank instead.
Anyway, I'm now 3 months sober. I'm also a youngin (20!) so I know what you mean. People often question the fact that I could be an alcoholic. How much could I have really drank to even know that I have an issue? Like you, I've been doing it since I was very young.
I'm happy that you've come looking for help. Addiction is a serious thing. I really suggest going to an NA and meeting people who feel the same way you do, who can answer your questions and relate to you. AA really helped me and I actually go to some NA meetings here. I don't have much experience with what you're describing though, so hopefully someone else can post and help answer your questions.
Welcome to SR and I wish you the best
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Hi AstroZombie, welcome to SR. I am a recovering alcoholic but I did have that strong reaction to songs in early recovery. That Adele song "someone like you" really haunted me for about 2 weeks. The sheer emotion of it. Very best wishes for your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Hi astrozombie! Congrats on getting off that oxy! I know exactly how you feel! In fact there is a thread here called drop of a hat, where we've discussed having those strong emotions pour out once we've been clean! It's probably our brain's way of repairing itself. If you think about it you've been dulling your emotions for 1/4 of your life! I'm sure it must be very strange to feel emotions again whether happy or sad or anything in between! Are you working with a counselor or therapist? If not, I think you should. Think about it you've gone through your entire adolescence high. That is a period in your life where many changes, growth, maturity take place. Since you were "checked-out" during that time I'm assuming all those changes will occur now that you're clean. That's probably going to cause alot of emotional turmoil as you catch up. Just my thoughts.
Welcome to SR, you will get alot of support here!
Welcome to SR, you will get alot of support here!
Work in Progress
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,142
I was going to suggest Drop of a Hat thread also. Lol.
This is all normal. Your body and brain are recovering. I hope you stick around and do well in your recovery. It would be great if you could come out of this as young as you are.
This is all normal. Your body and brain are recovering. I hope you stick around and do well in your recovery. It would be great if you could come out of this as young as you are.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
Welcome! I cleaned up at the age of 17 in the late 1970's. I was into meth and alcohol but did anything and everything. Yes, wild mood swings were the norm
For quite awhile when getting clean. With the help of both NA and AA, I was as to get through it. The most important thing was to not use, not matter what.
For quite awhile when getting clean. With the help of both NA and AA, I was as to get through it. The most important thing was to not use, not matter what.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 188
My sponsor told me sort of expect strange things to happen emotionally during a detox time. And she meant that time for about 1 year or more after you stop using. Not just immediately afterwards. Your brain has had a certain pathways to carry mesages and deal w/ emotions. And now that you are giving your brain a break - it has to learn how to remap those patheways. Don't be ashamed or worried. And really give yourself a break..good job on your sobriety and keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 524
That's great that you got this far!
It sounds like the same stuff I went through and am still going through. Although it gets better and better as more time passes.
I continued to get better and those 10 minute moments increase over time.
I stopped 120mg+ a day of oxy on 9/9/13 cold turkey. Taking daily for about 4 years.
The 2nd part of opiate withdrawal is called PAWS, and it varies from person to person.
It sounds like the same stuff I went through and am still going through. Although it gets better and better as more time passes.
I continued to get better and those 10 minute moments increase over time.
I stopped 120mg+ a day of oxy on 9/9/13 cold turkey. Taking daily for about 4 years.
The 2nd part of opiate withdrawal is called PAWS, and it varies from person to person.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 2
Thanks so much for your input everybody. As for the "drop of a hat" thread, I would have posted there but I kind of jumped right into this forum without looking around too much. This is because I am experiencing very, very strong cravings and I needed to reach out and hear from somebody...anybody. Ive never spoken about my problem to ANYONE, except my father. As for counseling/therapy, im going to start accompanying my dad to AA meetings. Once again I greatly appreciate all who took the time to post. Visiting this forum takes my mind off of the cravings and gives me something constructive to do.
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