Euphoric Recall - How to deal with those warm fuzzy memories?!
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Euphoric Recall - How to deal with those warm fuzzy memories?!
Hey guys, I'm about a week shy of 90 days, was previously a big binge drinker. I've heard the term "euphoric recall" before and I think it is what I'm experiencing. Out of the blue, something will remind me of the party days, where I have this intense flood of warm, fuzzy memories in which I'm in ecstasy--I've been having them a lot lately, and I feel they are the biggest threat to my sobriety.
I think they are a form of craving, because when I have these memories, I experience an intense urge to get back to this state of "bliss". I have to remind myself that I will never feel this way again, I need to let this go.
This weekend it is Oktoberfest in my lovely Wisconsin city--I work in the center of it all (a food restaurant) and will be surrounded by drunk people. These memories I have, coupled with the fact that I feel pretty "left out" as I can't partake in the festivities, are difficult to deal with.
BUT I have to say, there is NOTHING in the world that will make me give up my sobriety, it is the most important thing to me in the world.
So, how do you guys deal with euphoric recall?? Will it ever stop being so intense? How do you cope, come to grips with letting go of these feelings, and moving on??
I think they are a form of craving, because when I have these memories, I experience an intense urge to get back to this state of "bliss". I have to remind myself that I will never feel this way again, I need to let this go.
This weekend it is Oktoberfest in my lovely Wisconsin city--I work in the center of it all (a food restaurant) and will be surrounded by drunk people. These memories I have, coupled with the fact that I feel pretty "left out" as I can't partake in the festivities, are difficult to deal with.
BUT I have to say, there is NOTHING in the world that will make me give up my sobriety, it is the most important thing to me in the world.
So, how do you guys deal with euphoric recall?? Will it ever stop being so intense? How do you cope, come to grips with letting go of these feelings, and moving on??
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I looked at them as a last ditch attempt by my addiction to undermine my recovery.
For myself, I was chasing a memory, a euphoria that was maybe thirty years old. The bliss I got from drinking before I quit was pretty short lived, like a rodeo ride. But I keep getting on that bull. And kept getting thrown off.
For myself, I was chasing a memory, a euphoria that was maybe thirty years old. The bliss I got from drinking before I quit was pretty short lived, like a rodeo ride. But I keep getting on that bull. And kept getting thrown off.
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Kristy:
I am originally from a city on the "west coast" of Wisconsin that also has a very large Oktoberfest....I think I know exactly of which you speak!
I'm more of a realist so I don't generally worry to much about terms like "euphoric recall" -but I do think it's definitely normal to remember good times in our past, whether drinking was involved or not. Take Oktoberfest for example - for me, it was literally one of the best holidays of the year because it gave me free licence to drink as much beer as I wanted, whenever I wanted, In public, surrounded by people doing exactly the same thing as me.
Then I remember the monday after, or all the stupid things I did when I was drunk. Sure, there were euphoric moments...but all were followed by bad moments, usually lasting a lot longer than the euphoria did.
Be strong - you seem to have a great attitude about your sobriety. And as a side note, even Oktoberfest does have famly and non drinking activites...you just don't see them when you have your beer goggles on!
I am originally from a city on the "west coast" of Wisconsin that also has a very large Oktoberfest....I think I know exactly of which you speak!
I'm more of a realist so I don't generally worry to much about terms like "euphoric recall" -but I do think it's definitely normal to remember good times in our past, whether drinking was involved or not. Take Oktoberfest for example - for me, it was literally one of the best holidays of the year because it gave me free licence to drink as much beer as I wanted, whenever I wanted, In public, surrounded by people doing exactly the same thing as me.
Then I remember the monday after, or all the stupid things I did when I was drunk. Sure, there were euphoric moments...but all were followed by bad moments, usually lasting a lot longer than the euphoria did.
Be strong - you seem to have a great attitude about your sobriety. And as a side note, even Oktoberfest does have famly and non drinking activites...you just don't see them when you have your beer goggles on!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Hi Kristy
I just think of how quickly I'll turn into a wine-soaked hag who won't be nearly as funny and witty as she thinks she is and won't really be happy (or even really there in spirit) because she can only think about herself and the next drink and the next bottle. . .
and then, of course, the hangover and apologies etc etc . . .
I would have thought that being surrounded by such drunks would only serve to cement your resolve
I just think of how quickly I'll turn into a wine-soaked hag who won't be nearly as funny and witty as she thinks she is and won't really be happy (or even really there in spirit) because she can only think about herself and the next drink and the next bottle. . .
and then, of course, the hangover and apologies etc etc . . . I would have thought that being surrounded by such drunks would only serve to cement your resolve
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Thanks guys, isn't it funny how our brains block out ALL the terrible, horrible things, and only remember the good?! It's absolute craziness, totally illogical.
DoggoneCarl--that is so so true. I rarely got that euphoria anymore because the craving and anxiety of having more more more after a couple drinks would be all I could think about. And I love the idea that it's our addiction trying to get us to use again, promising we'll be rewarded and leaving out all the bad that will happen. Seeing the addiction as a separate entity from ourselves is helpful to me. I think previously I identified with the euphoric feelings and behaviors, like it was this huge, even BEST part of me. I guess it is actually not me at all, just the addiction playing with me like I'm a puppet on strings. I never saw it that way!
DoggoneCarl--that is so so true. I rarely got that euphoria anymore because the craving and anxiety of having more more more after a couple drinks would be all I could think about. And I love the idea that it's our addiction trying to get us to use again, promising we'll be rewarded and leaving out all the bad that will happen. Seeing the addiction as a separate entity from ourselves is helpful to me. I think previously I identified with the euphoric feelings and behaviors, like it was this huge, even BEST part of me. I guess it is actually not me at all, just the addiction playing with me like I'm a puppet on strings. I never saw it that way!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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It could be what they mean by the AV being cunning and patient.
The part of us that drives addiction, the best way to defeat it is to square off and shout it down, recognize the 'pleasant' memory as a hoax and tell it to bugger off. It probably isn't a coincidence that these recalls are coming given the upcoming festivities , it may be you were at least subconsciously aware that time was near.
Keep your guard up, those 'pleasant' memories or feelings are really mirages, yes?
wish you well
The part of us that drives addiction, the best way to defeat it is to square off and shout it down, recognize the 'pleasant' memory as a hoax and tell it to bugger off. It probably isn't a coincidence that these recalls are coming given the upcoming festivities , it may be you were at least subconsciously aware that time was near.
Keep your guard up, those 'pleasant' memories or feelings are really mirages, yes?
wish you well
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Kristy,
I am also from Wisconsin and have Oktoberfest this weekend. I have been sober a little over a year but there still are times when my mind takes me to the good ole days of drinking. I had a sales meeting for 3 days in Ohio and I was remembering all that free booze and fun. That is just what our addiction does. Tricky little bugger!! I woke up on the second day and took a minute to be thankful about a good nights sleep, no hangover or regrets, in my room in time to call my kids before they went to bed, actually eat breakfast, no anxiety while I sat in the meeting. Be proud of yourself each day you get up. In recovery I try to be a little more humble but nothing wrong being proud of what you have done in 90 days. Good for you.
I am also from Wisconsin and have Oktoberfest this weekend. I have been sober a little over a year but there still are times when my mind takes me to the good ole days of drinking. I had a sales meeting for 3 days in Ohio and I was remembering all that free booze and fun. That is just what our addiction does. Tricky little bugger!! I woke up on the second day and took a minute to be thankful about a good nights sleep, no hangover or regrets, in my room in time to call my kids before they went to bed, actually eat breakfast, no anxiety while I sat in the meeting. Be proud of yourself each day you get up. In recovery I try to be a little more humble but nothing wrong being proud of what you have done in 90 days. Good for you.
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Kristy:
I am originally from a city on the "west coast" of Wisconsin that also has a very large Oktoberfest....I think I know exactly of which you speak!
I'm more of a realist so I don't generally worry to much about terms like "euphoric recall" -but I do think it's definitely normal to remember good times in our past, whether drinking was involved or not. Take Oktoberfest for example - for me, it was literally one of the best holidays of the year because it gave me free licence to drink as much beer as I wanted, whenever I wanted, In public, surrounded by people doing exactly the same thing as me.
Then I remember the monday after, or all the stupid things I did when I was drunk. Sure, there were euphoric moments...but all were followed by bad moments, usually lasting a lot longer than the euphoria did.
Be strong - you seem to have a great attitude about your sobriety. And as a side note, even Oktoberfest does have famly and non drinking activites...you just don't see them when you have your beer goggles on!
I am originally from a city on the "west coast" of Wisconsin that also has a very large Oktoberfest....I think I know exactly of which you speak!
I'm more of a realist so I don't generally worry to much about terms like "euphoric recall" -but I do think it's definitely normal to remember good times in our past, whether drinking was involved or not. Take Oktoberfest for example - for me, it was literally one of the best holidays of the year because it gave me free licence to drink as much beer as I wanted, whenever I wanted, In public, surrounded by people doing exactly the same thing as me.
Then I remember the monday after, or all the stupid things I did when I was drunk. Sure, there were euphoric moments...but all were followed by bad moments, usually lasting a lot longer than the euphoria did.
Be strong - you seem to have a great attitude about your sobriety. And as a side note, even Oktoberfest does have famly and non drinking activites...you just don't see them when you have your beer goggles on!
And you're right...the bad lasts days, weeks, maybe even longer than the hour or so that you might feel good.
Maybe this doesn't make sense but when I'm working this weekend, instead of having the attitude "oh I'm missing out", I'm going to instead think of all those poor drunk people (who actually make themselves look like idiots and smell pretty bad lol) and try to help them to stay safe in any way I can. Maybe this isn't too nice of me, but looking at them with pity and thanking god I'm NOT in their shoes is so much healthier for me. You're right, they are all going to feel terrible next week, and I on the other hand will feel great AND will be richer (haha) since I worked instead of party.
Was driving through the down town area yesterday, noticed they have this BIG sign and shelter where drunk/injured people can get emergency help and first aid. I think that's good they have that, but it made me sad that they even have to have that in the first place! We also have volunteers that patrol the river to make sure drunk people don't fall in the river and drown...am I the only one that sees that insanity in having to have that lol
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You seem to be dealing with it very well yourself. I haven't had this type of recall, because even when I recall the best of the best moments, I see that I was a sad mess going through a horrible thing. Even when at the time I thought I was having a good time.
There is the recall. And since you think you had a good time back then, you experience it as wonderful. But have you adjusted yet? Have you looked into it and seen it for was it was, now that you're sober? What was really so wonderful about it? Was it wonderful at all, now that you think about it? Or were you just another drunk living in the illusion that she was having a good time?
I'm on day 43 btw, congrats on the almost 90 days!
Anyway, for me, no recall from the drinking period is euphoric or moderately or even slightly positive. In light of seeing it for what it really was, it was horrible.
And anything meaningful that seemed to occur was fake. Substance induced. Now it's time to create real meaningful moments, being sober. Those I would look back on with euphoric recall.
J.
There is the recall. And since you think you had a good time back then, you experience it as wonderful. But have you adjusted yet? Have you looked into it and seen it for was it was, now that you're sober? What was really so wonderful about it? Was it wonderful at all, now that you think about it? Or were you just another drunk living in the illusion that she was having a good time?
I'm on day 43 btw, congrats on the almost 90 days!
Anyway, for me, no recall from the drinking period is euphoric or moderately or even slightly positive. In light of seeing it for what it really was, it was horrible.
And anything meaningful that seemed to occur was fake. Substance induced. Now it's time to create real meaningful moments, being sober. Those I would look back on with euphoric recall.
J.
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dwtbd and FamilyMan--yes the addiction is cunning and evil and sneaky!!
From now on when I get euphoric recall memories I am going to envision myself doing this to the addiction:
LOL. Take that addiction!! This thread has been so helpful, thank you all!! 
From now on when I get euphoric recall memories I am going to envision myself doing this to the addiction:
LOL. Take that addiction!!
This thread has been so helpful, thank you all!! Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
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KristyCat, 1st, AWESOME on the 9 months!!!!!!
It's so odd that you posted this. I had a thread that I was going to start due to an episode that I had last evening. I'll squelch that and address it here because it applies.
I hit 4 months a few days ago. I was intown attending to something with my brother (who is one of my old drinking buddies). We left where we were and the old me would have said "let's go out to dinner". This would really mean "let's go drink!". He's very supportive of my sobriety even though he still drinks so we gave each other a kiss and hug and we were on our way.
On my drive home I had to go through a part of town which is all about drinking. You could walk from bar to bar to bar all night long and still not get through all of them. It was one of my hanging places in the old days. On the waterfront, warm breezes flowing, outside tables and the smell of the ocean. I'll just stop romanticizing right now. Anyway, my programmed mind had thoughts of the old times and when it was good. When I could go there and be ok. It was really a fond memory, I won't hide it. Then it hit me.
Sobriety is the final end of a relationship. You can't go back but it's not like there aren't still some good memories. Those are going to work their way in once in a while. I don't know of many who can say that from the point that they first drank to the end when they got sober that it was all one big hell hole. I had some great times when I drank, in the beginning. So occasionally, when you're in a situation that resembles the good old days the warm fuzzy memories roll in.
I cope by allowing myself to remember those times but to also insert visions of the end and how it turned out. If I have to verbalize to myself out loud "Yes, those were fun times but I can't ever go back there again because I can't repeat the fun" I do it. Just like an ended relationship. It didn't start out a hot mess or you would have never been together. The end isn't pretty though. Nothing wrong with remembering the good times but vigilance as to why you can't go back is of the utmost importance.
It's so odd that you posted this. I had a thread that I was going to start due to an episode that I had last evening. I'll squelch that and address it here because it applies.
I hit 4 months a few days ago. I was intown attending to something with my brother (who is one of my old drinking buddies). We left where we were and the old me would have said "let's go out to dinner". This would really mean "let's go drink!". He's very supportive of my sobriety even though he still drinks so we gave each other a kiss and hug and we were on our way.
On my drive home I had to go through a part of town which is all about drinking. You could walk from bar to bar to bar all night long and still not get through all of them. It was one of my hanging places in the old days. On the waterfront, warm breezes flowing, outside tables and the smell of the ocean. I'll just stop romanticizing right now. Anyway, my programmed mind had thoughts of the old times and when it was good. When I could go there and be ok. It was really a fond memory, I won't hide it. Then it hit me.
Sobriety is the final end of a relationship. You can't go back but it's not like there aren't still some good memories. Those are going to work their way in once in a while. I don't know of many who can say that from the point that they first drank to the end when they got sober that it was all one big hell hole. I had some great times when I drank, in the beginning. So occasionally, when you're in a situation that resembles the good old days the warm fuzzy memories roll in.
I cope by allowing myself to remember those times but to also insert visions of the end and how it turned out. If I have to verbalize to myself out loud "Yes, those were fun times but I can't ever go back there again because I can't repeat the fun" I do it. Just like an ended relationship. It didn't start out a hot mess or you would have never been together. The end isn't pretty though. Nothing wrong with remembering the good times but vigilance as to why you can't go back is of the utmost importance.
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Originally Posted by KristyCat
This weekend it is Oktoberfest in my lovely Wisconsin city--I work in the center of it all (a food restaurant) and will be surrounded by drunk people. These memories I have, coupled with the fact that I feel pretty "left out" as I can't partake in the festivities, are difficult to deal with.
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AA's Big Book talks about this:
Alcoholics Anonymous p24
I have definitely experienced this. Some people call this the AV (addicted voice I think). Whatever it is real. Just hold fast these thoughts will pass.
We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago
I have definitely experienced this. Some people call this the AV (addicted voice I think). Whatever it is real. Just hold fast these thoughts will pass.
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Originally Posted by james872
You seem to be dealing with it very well yourself. I haven't had this type of recall, because even when I recall the best of the best moments, I see that I was a sad mess going through a horrible thing. Even when at the time I thought I was having a good time.
There is the recall. And since you think you had a good time back then, you experience it as wonderful. But have you adjusted yet? Have you looked into it and seen it for was it was, now that you're sober? What was really so wonderful about it? Was it wonderful at all, now that you think about it? Or were you just another drunk living in the illusion that she was having a good time?
I'm on day 43 btw, congrats on the almost 90 days!
Anyway, for me, no recall from the drinking period is euphoric or moderately or even slightly positive. In light of seeing it for what it really was, it was horrible.
And anything meaningful that seemed to occur was fake. Substance induced. Now it's time to create real meaningful moments, being sober. Those I would look back on with euphoric recall.
J.
There is the recall. And since you think you had a good time back then, you experience it as wonderful. But have you adjusted yet? Have you looked into it and seen it for was it was, now that you're sober? What was really so wonderful about it? Was it wonderful at all, now that you think about it? Or were you just another drunk living in the illusion that she was having a good time?
I'm on day 43 btw, congrats on the almost 90 days!
Anyway, for me, no recall from the drinking period is euphoric or moderately or even slightly positive. In light of seeing it for what it really was, it was horrible.
And anything meaningful that seemed to occur was fake. Substance induced. Now it's time to create real meaningful moments, being sober. Those I would look back on with euphoric recall.
J.
Wow your post really made me think...were these really good times, and were they really real and meaningful. I guess if I took the substance away, the people and memories would not be happy or meaningful really.I just asked my dad what he thought about this, and he was saying well, your perception is so altered when you drink that whatever you are feeling/experiencing is probably inaccurate. This made me think, living in a drunken state is like living in a false world. I guess there are so many examples of this. Alcohol makes us feel warm when actually our internal organs are getting colder. Guys seem to look a bit more attractive than they actually are when I'm drinking (lol). I seem to think I'm invincible, can go swimming, drive cars, and run into traffic when I'm drinking...nope that's definitely not accurate!! I trust random men who say they will give me a ride home when actually they take me to their house (thank GOD nothing happened, I called a cab and left before anything did!!), another example of mu judgment/perception being less than accurate...
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Kristy,
Thanks for posting this thread. It has been helpful to me as I have been having my first cravings since I stopped a month ago. I like the last observation you made: we make so many bad choices when we drink, from what to eat to who to kiss to how much more to drink; why do we think our warm, fuzzy memories of drinking are accurate? What we were experiencing was completely skewed, our memories are not of reality. Very basic, I think, yet almost profound! Maybe I am just not a deep thinker. Lol!
Anyway, good luck this weekend. Notice how silly everyone looks, and how miserable they look the next morning!
Thanks for posting this thread. It has been helpful to me as I have been having my first cravings since I stopped a month ago. I like the last observation you made: we make so many bad choices when we drink, from what to eat to who to kiss to how much more to drink; why do we think our warm, fuzzy memories of drinking are accurate? What we were experiencing was completely skewed, our memories are not of reality. Very basic, I think, yet almost profound! Maybe I am just not a deep thinker. Lol!
Anyway, good luck this weekend. Notice how silly everyone looks, and how miserable they look the next morning!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Originally Posted by KristyCat
Thanks and congrats on your 43 days! Wow your post really made me think...were these really good times, and were they really real and meaningful. I guess if I took the substance away, the people and memories would not be happy or meaningful really.
I just asked my dad what he thought about this, and he was saying well, your perception is so altered when you drink that whatever you are feeling/experiencing is probably inaccurate. This made me think, living in a drunken state is like living in a false world. I guess there are so many examples of this. Alcohol makes us feel warm when actually our internal organs are getting colder. Guys seem to look a bit more attractive than they actually are when I'm drinking (lol). I seem to think I'm invincible, can go swimming, drive cars, and run into traffic when I'm drinking...nope that's definitely not accurate!! I trust random men who say they will give me a ride home when actually they take me to their house (thank GOD nothing happened, I called a cab and left before anything did!!), another example of mu judgment/perception being less than accurate...
Wow your post really made me think...were these really good times, and were they really real and meaningful. I guess if I took the substance away, the people and memories would not be happy or meaningful really.I just asked my dad what he thought about this, and he was saying well, your perception is so altered when you drink that whatever you are feeling/experiencing is probably inaccurate. This made me think, living in a drunken state is like living in a false world. I guess there are so many examples of this. Alcohol makes us feel warm when actually our internal organs are getting colder. Guys seem to look a bit more attractive than they actually are when I'm drinking (lol). I seem to think I'm invincible, can go swimming, drive cars, and run into traffic when I'm drinking...nope that's definitely not accurate!! I trust random men who say they will give me a ride home when actually they take me to their house (thank GOD nothing happened, I called a cab and left before anything did!!), another example of mu judgment/perception being less than accurate...
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