RhinoPeg

A very good friend who I have known for 30 years, who has been sober for 33 years, recently (9 mos ago) moved out of state. I called her on her birthday last week only to have the complete shock of my life while I listened to her talk to me drunk! My heart sank, as I did not know what to say to her except the usual, I miss you, happy birthday, etc...I did not acknowledge that she had been drinking. But she was very emotional on the phone saying how much she loved me, missed me, how great of friends we are, memories, on and on, etc... Finally her husband took over the phone and said to me, "sorry, she had a few cocktails at dinner." I just responded with "oh." Then she came back on the phone and we said our goodbyes. I hung up the phone in complete disbelief. I have let 5 days go by so far to think about whether to call her or write her about this. I don't even know what to do. This has never even been an issue during our entire friendship. Throughout our friendship, she has always openly discussed how important is was for her to maintain her sobriety. So when I called her last week on her birthday and she was drunk, this complete overwhelmingly sick feeling came over me. After we hung up the phone I laid down and cried my heart out. I'm so worried about my friend, but I don't want to say the wrong things to her, like a guilt comment or anything like that. And I can't remain silent about it like it didn't happen. So, my question is what is the best thing I can do for her now? What kinds of things do I say now?

Dee74

Hi and welcome Peg

Do you know much about alcoholism yourself?

D

RhinoPeg

Yes, I believe so

Dee74

Then I guess you know the most we can do is simply share our concern, with no expectations that we can cure or control someone elses disease.

Hopefully your friend is aware she's in trouble and is looking for help?

D

RhinoPeg

Then is that what I should say...just that I know she's in trouble and I hope she's looking for help?

Dee74

The trouble is there's no one 'right' response.

You know your friend better than we do, but yes I think that's about what i would say

I hope you'll hear from other folks on this. We also have a Family and Friend forum you may be interested in here

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D

RhinoPeg

Thank you for your help!