How do you stay sober?
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
How do you stay sober?
A normal drinker would ask me how can you drink so much? Well.... It's easy. See I go out to the bar. Drink until I cannot remember any more. Fall down. Pee myself. Wake up late the next day. And do it again.
See.... Simple?
Only an a s s would do that. Someone who did not like life. Yup. That's me.
I grew up sad all the time. Never part of this world. Never belonging to anything of value. I was invisible. Always.
I even thought since I was quiet and spoke to no one that they actually could not see me.
Drugs changed the game. I started with ecstasy. I was open and gregarious. Funny and interesting. So it seemed. That led me down a path to coke... Then crack... Then debt...loss of friends.
I became an embarrassment to be around.
How do I drink that much became how do I stay sober. I begged for answers. From rehab. From my therapists. Had a few. From another rehab. And another.
No one could tell me the simple answer I was desperate to hear.
But they told me. Every single time I asked I was told how to stay sober.
Was I deaf? No. Just scared. Hurt. Arrogant. Ignorant. And blinded by everything I had become. A mess.
Fear deafened me. But here is what I can look back and hear today in it all....
I can stay sober when I want to stay sober. When the scales tip in my mind between life and death. I wasn't just down on a knee. I was down. Until...
I wanted to get up. I said I wanted to a million and one times. But on my million and second? I did it. And I never want to try a million and three. Because I just don't know if I have it in me.
Have a great sober day! I am!
Ken
See.... Simple?
Only an a s s would do that. Someone who did not like life. Yup. That's me.
I grew up sad all the time. Never part of this world. Never belonging to anything of value. I was invisible. Always.
I even thought since I was quiet and spoke to no one that they actually could not see me.
Drugs changed the game. I started with ecstasy. I was open and gregarious. Funny and interesting. So it seemed. That led me down a path to coke... Then crack... Then debt...loss of friends.
I became an embarrassment to be around.
How do I drink that much became how do I stay sober. I begged for answers. From rehab. From my therapists. Had a few. From another rehab. And another.
No one could tell me the simple answer I was desperate to hear.
But they told me. Every single time I asked I was told how to stay sober.
Was I deaf? No. Just scared. Hurt. Arrogant. Ignorant. And blinded by everything I had become. A mess.
Fear deafened me. But here is what I can look back and hear today in it all....
I can stay sober when I want to stay sober. When the scales tip in my mind between life and death. I wasn't just down on a knee. I was down. Until...
I wanted to get up. I said I wanted to a million and one times. But on my million and second? I did it. And I never want to try a million and three. Because I just don't know if I have it in me.
Have a great sober day! I am!
Ken
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
A S S is what I thought I was too.
However, I learned I wasn't an A S S.
I was SICK with Alcoholism.
Very deadly. Very Cunning, Baffeling
and Powerful.
My sickness, addiction required help
with a Program of Recovery. I became
willing, openminded and eventually
honest to do whatever I needed to do
to learn to remain sober each day.
There are no A S S 's in my recovery
book. Only compassion and understanding.
Love and Care coming your way from me.
However, I learned I wasn't an A S S.
I was SICK with Alcoholism.
Very deadly. Very Cunning, Baffeling
and Powerful.
My sickness, addiction required help
with a Program of Recovery. I became
willing, openminded and eventually
honest to do whatever I needed to do
to learn to remain sober each day.
There are no A S S 's in my recovery
book. Only compassion and understanding.
Love and Care coming your way from me.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
A bit like Carol used to say ,
When the pain and fear of drinking was worse than the pain and fear of sobriety , i chose sobriety .
Nowdays sobriety is actually very nice and comfortable , drinking just looks like pain and misery , everyones posts here helps me confim this .
Being a person who avoids pain and misery as much as possible it isn't then difficult to stay sober
Bestwishes, m
When the pain and fear of drinking was worse than the pain and fear of sobriety , i chose sobriety .
Nowdays sobriety is actually very nice and comfortable , drinking just looks like pain and misery , everyones posts here helps me confim this .
Being a person who avoids pain and misery as much as possible it isn't then difficult to stay sober
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Another great post, Ken. I'm sure glad you're letting the world see you now, sober, because you are such a gift to it and to us.
Ultimately, we all belong to each other.
Love ya and have a glorious Sunday. It's a beauty here in Philly, hope you're getting the same cool but sunny weather in NY.
Ultimately, we all belong to each other.
Love ya and have a glorious Sunday. It's a beauty here in Philly, hope you're getting the same cool but sunny weather in NY.
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