trying to get it all out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Blountstown, FL
Posts: 9
trying to get it all out
2010, 2011 & 2012. AH Dad, Twin and Older brother, gone. Dad of natural causes. Twin and older brother...suicide. his twin and older brother both were alcoholics. Twins death was suspicious, older brother had mental issues. The day after his twin died,he started drinking and has drank every day since. The amount of alcohol just keeps increasing. I am in a veryyyyyy small town, no al-anon for 45 mi. one way. that is the start and part of my story. AH was only a social drinker before this. He would hold a beer all night so no one would ask if he wanted another. 2 was his limit. now he can put away 24 on a bad night. yet he still works everyday, 14 hrs. doesn't eat but one meal a day, his choice. I am not handling things all that well.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
I am so so sorry about what has brought you here to SoberRecovery. What has happened in your husband's family is a profound tragedy, and must seem insurmountable to him.
Welcome to SoberRecovery. As people said on your other thread, this is the most compassionate, caring forum you can imagine and people have great wisdom here and will share it to the best of their ability.
You deserve all the support you can get.
What seems different about your AH, as I read your post, is that his alcoholism seems to so clearly be a response to the impenetrable grief that has been thrust upon him. So I am wondering if he has had any help dealing with that grief. Elizabeth Kubler Ross has written a book about death and the stages of grief that the survivors go through. You might want to get a copy and read it, even perhaps suggest your husband read it.
More people will come to share their ideas with you. I am not a therapist, but I wonder if an intervention would be helpful. It might be very good for you to talk with a therapist who specializes in grief counseling who could give you more insight into how people can move through this traumatizing kind of loss.
The difficulty with what is happening is that, no matter what the cause of the drinking, after a while the sheer amount of alcohol begins to cause physical changes in the drinker. It is a progressive disease. In this case, perhaps it can be arrested if the underlying trauma is treated.
Come back as often as you want. The beauty of this site is that you can remain totally anonymous and yet share your deepest feelings among compassionate friends.
ShootingStar1
Welcome to SoberRecovery. As people said on your other thread, this is the most compassionate, caring forum you can imagine and people have great wisdom here and will share it to the best of their ability.
You deserve all the support you can get.
What seems different about your AH, as I read your post, is that his alcoholism seems to so clearly be a response to the impenetrable grief that has been thrust upon him. So I am wondering if he has had any help dealing with that grief. Elizabeth Kubler Ross has written a book about death and the stages of grief that the survivors go through. You might want to get a copy and read it, even perhaps suggest your husband read it.
More people will come to share their ideas with you. I am not a therapist, but I wonder if an intervention would be helpful. It might be very good for you to talk with a therapist who specializes in grief counseling who could give you more insight into how people can move through this traumatizing kind of loss.
The difficulty with what is happening is that, no matter what the cause of the drinking, after a while the sheer amount of alcohol begins to cause physical changes in the drinker. It is a progressive disease. In this case, perhaps it can be arrested if the underlying trauma is treated.
Come back as often as you want. The beauty of this site is that you can remain totally anonymous and yet share your deepest feelings among compassionate friends.
ShootingStar1
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
That's a lot to deal with in a short period of time. I can see why you don't feel you are handling this well.
So what can you do to handle it better? Al-Anon meetings? Private counseling? Books? I did all that and more! Took me a while, but I got back to a place where I felt I was far more equipped to handle things.
Let us know what we can do for you. This is a wonderful place for support. Keep coming back!
~T
So what can you do to handle it better? Al-Anon meetings? Private counseling? Books? I did all that and more! Took me a while, but I got back to a place where I felt I was far more equipped to handle things.
Let us know what we can do for you. This is a wonderful place for support. Keep coming back!
~T
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Welcome to SR, undertheheap! This is a great site, very straight talk and a lot of wisdom being shared. Hope you find it helpful.
You mention you live in a very small town w/no face-to-face Alanon. There may be a phone or online meeting you could attend to get some additional education and support. Here's the link http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/electronic-meetings
You also might get something out of reading this thread http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Again, welcome, and please keep on reading and learning as well as posting!
You mention you live in a very small town w/no face-to-face Alanon. There may be a phone or online meeting you could attend to get some additional education and support. Here's the link http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/electronic-meetings
You also might get something out of reading this thread http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Again, welcome, and please keep on reading and learning as well as posting!
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