On a ledge
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
On a ledge
In two weeks I am going to interview with an old coworker who has a fantastic job opportunity to present to me. It's there for my taking. Very good pay and benefits. Latest technologies and processes. An opportunity of my lifetime to be honest.
I will be traveling to another state. The very city and state where addiction took hold.
I have been warned by someone close to me that this will not be good for me because of all the memories and triggers.
Really?
I feel like I am on a ledge. My footing in life is never solid. There are obstacles everywhere.
But what's an obstacle for someone else is an opportunity for me.
I am on this ledge because I clawed my way UP to it.
I am on this ledge because its the next step.
I will reach with the tips of my fingers. Jump with all my might. And land on my feet.... Not my head this time.
It's not naïveté to want to live again in a beautiful place and think the same thing cannot happen. It certainly can. But I know now what I did not know then. I have an outlook unlike any other I had in the past.
I live across the street from a bar at this moment. Really? .... So called triggers abound.
Addiction is a shadow for me. It can only be seen in the bright light of my future.
I will be traveling to another state. The very city and state where addiction took hold.
I have been warned by someone close to me that this will not be good for me because of all the memories and triggers.
Really?
I feel like I am on a ledge. My footing in life is never solid. There are obstacles everywhere.
But what's an obstacle for someone else is an opportunity for me.
I am on this ledge because I clawed my way UP to it.
I am on this ledge because its the next step.
I will reach with the tips of my fingers. Jump with all my might. And land on my feet.... Not my head this time.
It's not naïveté to want to live again in a beautiful place and think the same thing cannot happen. It certainly can. But I know now what I did not know then. I have an outlook unlike any other I had in the past.
I live across the street from a bar at this moment. Really? .... So called triggers abound.
Addiction is a shadow for me. It can only be seen in the bright light of my future.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Great post, truly inspiring thank you !
Quitting is step one, living is the rest of the steps.
Triggers , shmiggers. Temptations are only as powerful as the inclination.
They sell Maker's everywhere, I just don't buy it anymore.
Fantastic on the job opportunity, I'd wish you luck but it thankfully sounds unneeded.
wish you the best you got
Quitting is step one, living is the rest of the steps.
Triggers , shmiggers. Temptations are only as powerful as the inclination.
They sell Maker's everywhere, I just don't buy it anymore.
Fantastic on the job opportunity, I'd wish you luck but it thankfully sounds unneeded.
wish you the best you got
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Sounds like you have quite a grip on this ledge you speak about 
Never let anyone hold you back - if there's a chance of a better life for you then go for it.
What do you stand to lose? Your sobriety? Sure you can lose that anywhere, any day for any reason but only if you allow yourself to.
Go for it and do yourself proud
Never let anyone hold you back - if there's a chance of a better life for you then go for it.
What do you stand to lose? Your sobriety? Sure you can lose that anywhere, any day for any reason but only if you allow yourself to.
Go for it and do yourself proud
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Awesome news, Ken. What a really great ledge to be on pondering what is what
I say jump. There comes a time in our journey when "where" we are is no longer the problem it once was for us. Sure, we all want the best for ourselves, and we can meet our goals with sureness of purpose knowing we stay clean 'n sober not because we haven't fallen yet to our immediate surroundings, but because being successful lifts us above the noise and waste of whatever could bring us down.
We all have choices. I'm where I'm at today by living my life like a light on a hill in celebration, and not by lying low keeping in the shadows of what was wrong in my past drunken life licking my wounds.
I'm happy for you.
I say jump. There comes a time in our journey when "where" we are is no longer the problem it once was for us. Sure, we all want the best for ourselves, and we can meet our goals with sureness of purpose knowing we stay clean 'n sober not because we haven't fallen yet to our immediate surroundings, but because being successful lifts us above the noise and waste of whatever could bring us down.
We all have choices. I'm where I'm at today by living my life like a light on a hill in celebration, and not by lying low keeping in the shadows of what was wrong in my past drunken life licking my wounds.
I'm happy for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: northern virginia
Posts: 535
yeah, i'm with the others here, weasel... it sounds like this is an opportunity you want and feel good about. take it!
for me, my thought is that though i may have been in a certain geographical locale, the addiction took root inside me, and it would have no matter where i was living. for example, this last foray into the deep depths of my disease came on fast and hard while living at home, taking care of my family everyday. to get and stay sober, i need to find a way to physically stay where i am and work on changing inside myself. what's the alternative? run away from my house and family because that's where the drink really took control of me? not a chance!
you seem well centered in your recovery... just thank this person (who likely is very well-meaning in giving the caution), and do what you need to do, both for this opportunity and your recovery.
you got this!!! and... congratulations!! i hope the job turns out well for you!!
for me, my thought is that though i may have been in a certain geographical locale, the addiction took root inside me, and it would have no matter where i was living. for example, this last foray into the deep depths of my disease came on fast and hard while living at home, taking care of my family everyday. to get and stay sober, i need to find a way to physically stay where i am and work on changing inside myself. what's the alternative? run away from my house and family because that's where the drink really took control of me? not a chance!
you seem well centered in your recovery... just thank this person (who likely is very well-meaning in giving the caution), and do what you need to do, both for this opportunity and your recovery.
you got this!!! and... congratulations!! i hope the job turns out well for you!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Ken, this sounds like a marvelous opportunity and I agree with the others...we can lose our sobriety anywhere. You are strong, you have worked hard on your sobriety, you are deeply introspective and self-aware, and you certainly have a firm grip on reality and "what is."
Take this opportunity and run with it.
Take this opportunity and run with it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
I live in the place where my addiction was at its worst.
I take sensible precautions but as has been said, sobriety is attitude and gratitude.
We cant hide from 'triggers' and this, for me, is about living.
Some say they want to die sober.
I want to live sober.
Enjoy your job and enjoy your sobriety.
These are the pleasures of sober living.
Nice one.
G
I take sensible precautions but as has been said, sobriety is attitude and gratitude.
We cant hide from 'triggers' and this, for me, is about living.
Some say they want to die sober.
I want to live sober.
Enjoy your job and enjoy your sobriety.
These are the pleasures of sober living.
Nice one.
G
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Gosh.... You are all so kind.
I am very excited. They are putting me up in the best hotel in the city. The project starts in December and they want me for it. So I get to stay where I am and collect a big bonus in November. I feel blessed by the chance to make this right.
That's what I told this person. I will be an addict everywhere I go. I just so happen to be a sober one. Nothing is taken for granted.
I will update you all when I get back from that trip. I am hoping it all goes well.
Thank you for all the encouragement!
Ken
I am very excited. They are putting me up in the best hotel in the city. The project starts in December and they want me for it. So I get to stay where I am and collect a big bonus in November. I feel blessed by the chance to make this right.
That's what I told this person. I will be an addict everywhere I go. I just so happen to be a sober one. Nothing is taken for granted.
I will update you all when I get back from that trip. I am hoping it all goes well.
Thank you for all the encouragement!
Ken
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Sounds really great actually. No big deal, but you might want to vary some of your activities a little so it doesn't feel like a time warp. I don't think I'd stay in the exact same place, eat at the same restaurants, etc.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Ken ,
As you know i've lived in a couple of countries . My problems followed me because i was an active alcoholic . For me sobriety is about being happy and content in my own head wherever it might be geographicly .
Yes there will probably be triggers , there will be memories ... that is also true for NY .
I just charge at them and kick them to the kirb Living in freedom till the day i die here those things are ghosts and are only imbued with the power you give them imho .
Bestwishes, m
As you know i've lived in a couple of countries . My problems followed me because i was an active alcoholic . For me sobriety is about being happy and content in my own head wherever it might be geographicly .
Yes there will probably be triggers , there will be memories ... that is also true for NY .
I just charge at them and kick them to the kirb
Living in freedom till the day i die here those things are ghosts and are only imbued with the power you give them imho . Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 241
Ken, seize this if you feel it. I know you can do it. I should be giving you words of caution about the triggers in that environment, but it sounds like you are doing this for all the right reasons.
Yours,
Cas
Yours,
Cas
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Lol! I will be taking this and I have a plan.
Day 1 start meetings.
Don't live in the trouble spots. That means I am choosing a to live outside the city where there can be no walking to bars.
Bring with me the knowledge and lessons learned.
Keep SR close!
I respect the person that wants me very much. I have a long history with him professionally. He says he just wants me to come meet some people as if the deal is done.
Anyway... For those that know my history.... I will be moving there alone.
K
Day 1 start meetings.
Don't live in the trouble spots. That means I am choosing a to live outside the city where there can be no walking to bars.
Bring with me the knowledge and lessons learned.
Keep SR close!
I respect the person that wants me very much. I have a long history with him professionally. He says he just wants me to come meet some people as if the deal is done.
Anyway... For those that know my history.... I will be moving there alone.
K
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
best wishes Ken
I live in an area where I could get any of my drugs of choice anytime I like...I could get on a bus and go and visit old haunts any day of the week...but I don't.
They may not have changed - but I have
D
I live in an area where I could get any of my drugs of choice anytime I like...I could get on a bus and go and visit old haunts any day of the week...but I don't.
They may not have changed - but I have
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Congrats! Sounds like a good opportunity for you. And I wholeheartedly agree that the one constant in all our problems is us. You can't run away from your problems by moving, and by the same token going home doesn't mean you have to go backward.
I think you have a good handle on things and a good head on your shoulders. I've reached the point where the term "triggers" no longer has meaning for me. All those years I drank because I could.
Not to hijack your thread, but apropos of nothing I always felt that I suffered from a low-level/low-grade depression. In fact it was an article of faith for me that depression is one of the reasons I drank. But I really notice, now that I don't drink, I'm never depressed anymore. Sure, I have bad days like anyone does and legitimate problems can get me down. But the haze of constant miasma that hung over me has evaporated like the morning fog. Depression wasn't the reason, just a convenient excuse for bad behavior.
Best wishes on the move! Please keep us posted on your new job and stuff.
I think you have a good handle on things and a good head on your shoulders. I've reached the point where the term "triggers" no longer has meaning for me. All those years I drank because I could.
Not to hijack your thread, but apropos of nothing I always felt that I suffered from a low-level/low-grade depression. In fact it was an article of faith for me that depression is one of the reasons I drank. But I really notice, now that I don't drink, I'm never depressed anymore. Sure, I have bad days like anyone does and legitimate problems can get me down. But the haze of constant miasma that hung over me has evaporated like the morning fog. Depression wasn't the reason, just a convenient excuse for bad behavior.
Best wishes on the move! Please keep us posted on your new job and stuff.
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Originally Posted by Weasel1966 
Addiction is a shadow for me. It can only be seen in the bright light of my future.
I love your attitude too, Weasel. So inspiring. I'm sure you'll be successful in whatever you do
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