wvagirl

I know that I am not the only one in my situation. But we are all in our own situations..aren't we? My husband is an alcoholic. I feel so hopeless when it comes to him and his drinking. He takes such care to see that he always has his beer. Other things are never as important. He might forget his lunch or forget dinner but never his beer.

He has had one dui which resulted in loss of his license for 6 months and thousands of dollars. Yet he still drinks and drives. He has three daughters (by a previous marriage) that never come around anymore. My son which he raised as well as myself has lost respect for him.

He used to be rather functunal. He maintained a job and was able to go to work. However now he has started to get on drinking binges, which sometimes last weeks. Therefore he has lost two jobs this summer already. He lies to his employers about why he missed work of course. The bills are not getting paid and I am about at my witts end!

His time on the computer lately is looking at pornography ( I HATE IT!) and he knows it! He says it is like a game to see how far he can go. Does this make any sense to anyone? It doesn't to me. He says he is not turned on by viewing this trash...so then why look at it?

I guess deep down I still love him even though sometimes anymore I question it. I know that I am not proud of him anymore. I am so tired of the stinking wet bed sheets every morning from his alcohol sweats. I can't lie against him at night anymore he is cold clammy and sweaty. He lives for beer!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it!

wvagirl :uzi2:

Lorelai

wvagirl -
I feel you. It does feel hopeless to put your hope in an A. I've decided to put my hope in me and to get my life together. He can come along or not.
Keep reading & posting. It will get better and there is definately hope here.
Hugs - L

Gabe

Hey wvagirl,
I'm sorry that you're feeling hopeless, that isn't a good place to be.
There isn't anything you can do about his drinking, or his computer porn addiction (and yes, it's an addiction, not a game.)
So...what are you doing to take care of you? That's the most important thing right now.
Gabe

matters

Hello wvagirl,

Those NASTY smells are so awful. I just hate opening up the bedroom door to that smell after he has been drinking and is passed out snoring!! My husband has a special towel by his pillow to wipe off the sweat......YUCK! Try to concentrate on YOU and do something special for yourself everyday.Read all the info here too. The daily posts are really helpful by Debbie and Daffodil.

Hugs and Prayers,
matters

StandingStrong

wvagirl, notice that everyone is telling you to work on "you"? Believe me, it's the only honest answer here in your situation. But I noticed your post count and wonder if you know what it means to work on yourself. ? I know that for me, when I heard that phrase early on, I had no clue what the heck people were talking about! My first reaction was "work on me?, I'm not the one with the drinking problem, I'm not the one that is doing this or that, etc" But I came to realize that there were some things that I could change about myself - not change the alcoholic. And oh, what a beginning that was!!!!!!
Give yourself a hug today! And then think about the things in your life that you really don't like, and how you can make positive changes. Don't include your spouse in these thoughts, he is responsible for himself.
Keep posting here, keep reading the other posts, you'll find that most of us have either been there, done that, or are currently there. And there are a lot of members on this board that really can give you some great insight as well as advice. Know that you aren't alone!!!!!

amarie

You are feeling the same way I did a few months ago when I first came to this forum. I felt so alone and hopeless, but thanks to the great people here I learned to live life for me and not to focus so much on what he's doing. My AH is also into porn--It grosses me out. Of course he blames me for him having to look at that. He said " if you gave it up once in a while, I wouldn't have to resort to that". Why would I want to "give it up" to someone who reeks of beer???? They just don't get it. So I figure-Let him watch it. It keeps him away from me!!! Pamper yourself and do things that make you feel good. You are what matters. Take your life back and start living for you.

wvagirl

Thank you all so much. Just being able to talk to someone about all of this helps. A lot of people ask me why I stay with him. Honestly I don't know. I love him but sometimes I don't love him. I love the man that he is when he is not drinking. Which rarely happens anymore. I could never have found anyone that would be better to my children and my other family members. Any time they need anything he is glad to help. He has a heart of gold, but this alcoholism is about to drive me crazy. My brother is also an alcoholic. My mother was or ( is) an alcoholic. She had to nearly die to give it up. I am sick of it! It helps talking to others that understand what I am saying. God Bless you all! Kathy