not2late

I messed up this weekend. Am I allowed a "do over"? I am mourning my 5 clean and sober days and feel like a failure. I need a plan for the weekends. I know they are trouble for me. I'm going to have to forgive myself and. get off the pity train if tghis is ever going to work

Vickylou

Hi Peaches - you can start again with me. I'm forever at day 1 and it's exhausting. So sick of the energy I let alcohol take from me, sick of the guilt, sick of it all. Feel free to message me if you need a buddy - I know I could do with one. Good luck, Vicky xx

ZoeM

Hi Peaches. There is a special 'weekend thread' which is truly invaluable Hope to see you there at the weekend

Dee74

Noone keeps score here Peaches - we understand how hard this is.

Rather than dwelling on failure, maybe it's better to think about the 5 days you had and how good you felt....and think about what led you to decide to drink again - those kinds of lessons are priceless I think

Think about what else you need to add to make 5 days into a permanent change

D

not2late

Vicky - you got yourself a day one buddy!! Zoe I will try the weekend thread for sure. Dee - its always comforting to see you here. Thanks guys. Its almost 4 am here and once again cant sleep. You are right Dee I did feel amazing after 5 days and slept so good. I want that back.

Vickylou

I'll be in the same boat tonight at 4am I'd imagine - I hate it but I know eventually this will turn into the deep refreshing sleep that the sober have every night x

not2late

I'm so looking forward to sober sleep again. Going to at least try. Work tomorrow. I'll be back soon.

instant

The last hurdle for me was the weekend- the need for Friday to be "special" and wanting to get relaxed ASAP. In time I found that the "longing" and "wistfulness" was just a product of my addiction- at the time it seemed real. I thought life without alcohol would be boring and stressful- I have found the opposite

ZoeM

I make the weekends 'special' by allowing myself to eat as much ice-cream and sweets (or whatever else I fancy) as I want. It does help to still 'celebrate' the weekends in some way

lillyknitting

Keep wanting that feeling of "feeling amazing" and remember how awful and dreadful alcohol makes us feel. It is a poison. Keep remembering how wonderful you feel without it.

hypochondriac

Peaches, I did the same as you, stayed sober for 5 days then drank. I considered it a false start. The next attempt has stuck for a year and a half so far. You can do this! x

Croissant

Zoe, you make me laugh.

Peaches...half the battle is admitting that you stumbled and you want sober back...you can do it.

I found it best to plan the details of my weekend ahead of time. I definitely felt like I was madly ticking off a to do list my first couple of weekends,
But it seemed to help. Friday night I make sure I have food ready to microwave straight away when I get home, so my tummy is full and I don't dwell on 'The Witching Hour' too much. Know what those two days will look like ahead of time, if possible. Try and visualise how good it will feel waking up with no regrets and in control of your weekend.

Like Zoe said too, I think about what treats I might have, takeaway and what I will spend my ex alcohol money on. Good luck, we all want you to succeed.

ZoeM

Croissant - keep smiling lol x

not2late

You guys are the best!!! Good advice and I'm going to put it to use this weekend. Its a holiday and I have Monday off work. I'm having a bit of an anxious feeling and some minor shakes. I'm hanging on knowing tomorrow will be better. I also have a checkup with the doc on Thursday I'll have to be honest about the drinking. Thanks again everyone for your kind support.

afloatsober

Yes you are allowed! Be brave and well done for reaching out. None of us can do this alone. You are not alone. You will get well and you do DESERVE IT!

not2late

Thanks so much afloat. I was feeling alone and really thought I had to hide my pain. It feels better just to post it here.

IOAA2

Hi Peaches please for own sanity hang in there one day at a time and try to remember the urges for the most part usually last a few minutes at a time. I had to focus my thoughts on non drinking thoughts and they pass with time. Long before the internet I was in serious need of help which the people in AA gave me. They said things I didn’t want to hear but were correct. Like I had to get honest with myself and eliminate the BS in my thinking. Next I was told that if I didn’t pick up the first drink I wouldn’t have to get sober AGAIN. So true. For me another biggie was KEEP COMING, which I have for a lot of years without the desire to drink so it must work!

instant

The first weekend is the hardest- they get easier after that

Louise82

Welcome back peaches. As long as we're alive we can always start again! Like Dee says no one keeps score here. Just as well, as I wouldn't be allowed to be here otherwise.

I'm glad that you're seeing the doctor this week and that you're going to be honest about your drinking. I was honest with my doctor and it wasn't scary at all, although I was expecting it to be. He was very helpful.

Looking forward to seeing you on the weekend thread this weekend!

not2late

Hi all taking a break at work. Ioaa2 - you ate so right. One day or even hour st a time. If I had just pushed through a "wow is me moment" I would have been ok. Thanks Louise. Nervous about the doc but I know I have to do it. This weekend is the start of college football and we are meeting friends HOWEVER I have told them all I am not drinking and will be the designated driver. I will be here as well for support during that time. Thanks all i am feeling better about this