loni8190

I need help in understanding how I should be handling my situation. My husband has been addicted to pills for 5 years. He is prescribed morphine and dilodid (we live in florida and he goes to a pain clinic, those places just want your money so they prescribe medication that you would need for emergency situations and not dad to day medication for low pain ) hell the medication is for his shoulder so he shouldn't need morphine or dilodid. I know that is just an excuse to get pain medication legally because he was buying pills off the street before he go a script and before he hurt his arm. I want to leave him because i feel like he needs to get off them. The problem is that he is a great guy, the only thing we fight about is the medication, he has a good job, he functions fine, he's smart, very handsome and has everything going for him, his only down side is that he is addicted to his medication and he doesn't really need it. Its really weird because he is perfectly normal, would never guess he was an addict and he is a great dad and a really caring husband. He never ignores me or hits me or calls me names. he comes home right after work and gives me and his son all of his attention. He is truly a good person and he is completely faithful, he supports me while Im in school. I feel like such a bad person for fighting with him over this because my only reasons for wanting him to stop is because im worried about his health long term, and because i just don't want it in the house. I feel so stupid for wanting to leave him, i love him to death but I want him to live a healthy life drug free. He always asks me why i make a big deal about his prescriptions and i just feel like i never have a good reason. my situation is unique, i see many posts about husbands or wives that are addicts and that act horrible, but my husband is the same with or without them. He never runs out of medication because the doctor prescribes him more than enough, so i have never had to see him go threw withdraws. he never takes so much that he could OD, and he never nods off because he is so high. He takes everything responsibly, he doesn't drink at all or smoke anything. I just know that he doesn't really need the medication for pain reasons and want him to get off, should i just let him continue doing what he is doing and except that this is part of his life?

Dee74

I don't think it's stupid to be worried about your husbands health or to not want the stuff in the house Loni. Those are valid concerns and it's not true that you have nothing to complain about if unless your husband is violent or nasty,

I don't believe any spouse should have to put up with anything.

Have you ever thought of NarAnon at all? it might do you some good to be around people who understand your situation and who have been through it?

you might also get some benefit from our Family and Friends forum?

D

Twofish

Hi Loni, I too have an injury(crushed vertebrae from a car accident) two years ago. My Dr. whom used to run the ER department in our town, now a pain clinic, started me on Percocet, then Duragesic patches, Then Dilaudid, then Oxycodone 30mg, just kept increasing the dose until now it's Morphine SR and IM. I also have signed a drug contract. My situation is people stealing these meds from my home. I know I will forever be in pain, but to that extent? So I have now asked to be tapered off or to a dose that will leave me comfortable. It's a slow taper, I have some bad days, but think about it, who is ever perfectly comfortable everyday?Might be worth asking your husband to consider this. Good luck to you Loni. Hugs, TF

cleaninLI

Loni, I agree with Dee that you definitely have reason to complain about it. Addiction is a progressive disease. He may be handling things just fine now. Chances are that if he continues doing what he's doing he will have a problem down the road. His tollerence will build. He will need more and more to to feel the same way he does now. He will get to the point that the meds prescribed by the pain clinic will not be enough. He will start buying more from the street. His "Habit" will become so expensive that he will need to ignore real life expenses (morgage/rent, car payment/insurance, credit card bills or even groceries) in order to afford the pills. This maybe already happening without your knowledge. If he's "functional" chances are he's excellent at covering up his problems.

Once, he starts coming up short on cash, he will run out of his supply of pills before he can get more. He will start wd until he can buy more. Then he will start missing work and will risk work related problems.

If and when he goes back to buying them illegally, he risks getting caught. Just having them in your home puts you and any children you might have at risk. If the cops catch on and decide to search your home and something turns up, you as welll as your husband could be arrested. Any under aged children risk being put in foster care by the state. Are you willing to take those risks? I know, he says it could never happen to him. That's what they all say!

Now, the problem is that he will not stop until HE is ready-not one moment sooner. You will not be able to make him stop. There are no magic words you can say and you can not "love"him into recovery. You cannot make him stop.

You can learn more about addiction by reading this forum, which it looks like you are doing. You can make an appointment with an addiction specialist who might be able to give you some ways to approach your husband and some resources about treatment options.
It's a great idea to attend narnon or alanon.

Definitely learn about unabling and be sure to set up boundaries. You can learn more about those from the stickies at that link that Dee sent you.

Hope this helps